When are the use of racial slurs deemed "acceptable"?

I'm just curious as to when is it acceptable for the use of racial or other slurs... Is it OK if you are using it in the 3rd person (repeating what someone else said)? Or how about when trying to reiterate a passionate point? Would making it published in Websters, regardless of the definition you give it, deem it correct and acceptable for use? Is it really appropriate when two or more people of the same race refer slurs to each other, or to others as long as the one affected doesn't hear? Should there really be a reasonable expectation of privacy for those who accidentally get recorded or overheard using them? Should it be considered freedom of speech? As far as I am concerned, the answer is "NO" for the above and any other situation of this nature... But yet, I still hear it and see (read) it... Even here on RP (which really surprised me) and other social media sites... I've seen (read) it from someone "making a point", or "repeating" what someone else either said or wrote... Does that make it acceptable? Am I the only one feeling this, or am I making way too much out of this? And no, its not just between black and white, and no, I'll NOT mention any names or posts as I'm sure our administrators will find them or it soon enough, if they haven't already... Just wanted to have you all weigh in on this as RP is kinda therapeutic for me... My apologies in advance as this has more than one question and quite a few angles... This is probably more venting than anything else... But? I like RP, so what better place?