What is the best advice you have for having a successful relationship/marriage in the Army?

http://www.sgaus.org

Here's the SDF organization page, so you can see if your state or territory has one, OK?

I wasn't married when I was in, I was supposed to have gone Army, I was ROTC, I went USAF OTS instead. I realize I'm likely to be disagreed with, I expect that, however, what you asked piqued my curiosity for multiple reasons. I knew both enlisted and commissioned couples while I'd been in, as well as civil service families, all are inescapable knowing, that world tends to be a somewhat narrow, provincial one, regardless of service, I'd found. I realize many here might, as I'd said, disagree with me, however, I can onoy give you mumemotife reaction to your question, in the hope of doing you some potential good. I did in fact very greatly envy the stability I observed in those I knew on active who were !arroed, as I think, with some fair degree of validity, that their being so did, in fact help them in their day to day work and existence, not hinder either. I wish I'd been able to ne married whole I'd been in, for precisely that reason, as that level of companionship, whole it introduces its own problems of married existence, kids, bills, what have you, minimizes the isolation that all too frequently, I'd found, though perhaps it was just more a matter of me, can tend to pervade active duty life. That being said. In order to try to answer you more coherently while I realize you might not want to go into very much here, knowing more of your circumstances generally, I've found, frequently helps those here help those like you trying to ask about existence once in, regardless of service, unit, branch, Guard, Reserve, what have you so, purely out of curiosityz, why Army, per se, as opposed to other services? Are you college, working, wanting ROTC, OCS, enlisted, and, whiceger route, what field, what type of work? What school have you had thus far, high school, community college, regular college, associates, bachelors, grad school? There are also alternatives you might think about, like the Guard and/or Reserve Tech program, also I've seen listed as AGR, where you'd be civil service drilling with a unit, wearing the uniform during the week, though a civil servant. Also, if you want to see if the life is for you, depending on what state youre in, you might look at trying time in a state defense force (SDF), one of the state militaries that support the Army and Air Natl Guard (ARNG/ANG), that way you can see if it's for you, and not be deployed, yet contribute. Generally, if an SDF member wants to go Federal and gets accepted, an SDF, as I've understood, can and generally does let them go. I'd only learned of the SDFs, look up SGAUS, that's their kain organization of those states and/or territories that have them, some are more active than others, some states and/or territories dont have an SDF at alp, you'd need to check. Try to elaborate, as I'd said, for that reason, the more you relate, the more feedback can be given, I just figured you might find that of at least some use, I'd be eager to hear more, I'll try to send you some sites that you might also find worth looking at, as well. I'd consider which service, which fieldz which branch, very, very carefully, I'm not saying that to dissuade you I'm merely pointing out that going innis a life-altering event, if you have time to research it properlyx, considering aoo services, take the time to do so, I found that not knowing what to ask, or who to ask, was the single major aspect that affected my existence while in, that:s my only reason for suggesting thst you elaborate, and take adequate time to do sufficient research, and engage in dialogue with those who've been in, and can try to help you get it right the first time, so far as humanly possible, OK? As I said, I hope that was of use, ifmyour care to chat further I'm here. Of course, anytime, many thanks

A subscription to your favorite "online entertainment," haha. Just kidding. Seriously, it's love, trust and prayers, and a true respect for marriage and marriage vows. And also to remember that over the years, the two of you will change. My wife and I are not the same people we were 18 years ago when we met. Marriage counseling is also very good. We have gone thru it for simple communication issues we were having and came out good on the other end of that. And whenever possible, and I mean whenever possible, you give all the attention to your spouse and family to make up for those long hours in garrison, in the field, or during deployments. I have been married for 14 years and I have to say that in addition to trust and prayers, it's a strong support system for the wife for whenever I'm gone. Every time I go away for an extended (six or more months) amount of time, she has went home to stay with her family. But now that we have a child and are VERY FAR away from her family now, it will just be her and our daughter whenever I leave. But a service member's spouse, whether it's a husband or a wife, must be self reliant and completely independent. If I had married a woman that was constantly worrying and calling me all the time at work or wherever, then I would divorce that woman in the blink of an eye. I have a very mentally strong woman who understands my commitment. If she has an affair with the plumber, then I prefer to not hear about it, haha.

And lastly, don't prematurely give up on your marriage because you had an argument. Marriage is not meant to be a breeze, you gotta work at it.

PV2 J M Excellent advice from SFC Christopher Taggart. The military is not a 9 to 5 job and will demand your total commitment.