Responses: 34
Don't get too intense (and marriage sure as hell counts!) too quickly or too early in life; whether one is in the Army or not.
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SFC Christopher Taggart
What happens if that young soldier comes to you and says, 'We're in love, Sergeant?' Like us, whose had life experiences, I think we know the difference between "in love" and "in heat!" lol
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SGT Dave Tracy
SFC Christopher Taggart - or being in love with the IDEA of being in love (knowing that difference would have saved my buddy 2 of his marriages!)
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Best advice is don't get married.
Military life is a completely different lifestyle which most people outside the military aren't accustomed to. You might think you guys are something special and you can make it work.
Then you get deployed for 6 months, 9 months, a year. Spouse gets bored. Feels isolated since they left all their friends to be with you. Hooks up with the first person who gives them a modicum of attention.
Then you'll come home to find your bank account cleared out, your stuff sold or stolen.
Seriously. Don't do it.
If you want to get married, get through your first enlistment. Find out if you even want to make a career out of the military first.
You can talk to a million and one service members and the stories are always similar. There are very few military marriages that last.
Military life is a completely different lifestyle which most people outside the military aren't accustomed to. You might think you guys are something special and you can make it work.
Then you get deployed for 6 months, 9 months, a year. Spouse gets bored. Feels isolated since they left all their friends to be with you. Hooks up with the first person who gives them a modicum of attention.
Then you'll come home to find your bank account cleared out, your stuff sold or stolen.
Seriously. Don't do it.
If you want to get married, get through your first enlistment. Find out if you even want to make a career out of the military first.
You can talk to a million and one service members and the stories are always similar. There are very few military marriages that last.
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SFC Christopher Taggart
Good advice, CPL Goolsby. I like the part, where you advise him to go thru one enlistment first, before deciding to get married and make the military a career.
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For starters if you're younger than 26 don't get married. You're going to get sent all over the place. Young soldiers who get married usually get divorced. You go on deployment or a year in Korea (personal experience) you come home and all of your money is gone, your wife ran off with another man, and she's trying to get whatever money she didn't abscond with in the divorce settlement.
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Personally, the fact that my husband and I were active duty when we met (he’s NG I’m still active now) we had that common understanding of compromising in the relationship. Duties, Long field exercises, deployments etc we knew had to cope and get through them and it made us stronger. Plus, I think some individuals have a better sense of commitment and loyalty than others in their relationship which can make the relationship actually last.
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Keep all family matters at home between man and wife, as well as children. Innovate a culture at home of secrecy and resolve marital quarrels at home or in counseling, but never at work. Never mix personal affairs with professional matters; never think confiding in outsiders will bring resolutions at home or in the workplace. Always create a facade to keep personal distant from your profession at all times. Build your trust in one another and become best friends before embarking on the platonic voyage; such that each can read their partners without a word said.
At work; distance yourself from home, because command are not a humble abode.
At work; distance yourself from home, because command are not a humble abode.
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CPT Gurinder (Gene) Rana
If there is war at home, sit down and resolve the impasse between man and wife as adults. If one is being unrealistic or unreasonable, it is brave for the other to consider the high-road. Never let matters become so sour that outside assistance .
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She's your boss , aka "Household 6 " out side of the Army, so listen to her needs and make her your #1.
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I was married to another Naval Officer. It did not work out for us. Is it possible to have a successful relationship, yes. But it is much more difficult. What I can tell you is that communication and realistic expectations are paramount. Talk and don't let anything that "might" be a problem become a problem. You both have to understand that there are things that are way out of your control, and missing something is not a reflection of how you perceive the other person.
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Be honest, faithful, compassionate, considerate, and caring. If you show your loved one those traits you will have a great marriage no matter what career you have. P.S she had to follow them also
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Be patient and ready for anything that could and will happen, love unconditionally
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Date for at least a year while your in the Army so you both can see what it is like. Avoid a shotgun marriage.
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