How/Does PTS (PTSD) change/affect your marriage? Are you closer with your spouse? or more distant?

I've been in for about 13 years. It took me 10 years to finally go see a counselor about it. Up until then, I had buried it and never really dealt with it. I was always quick to anger. I knew something needed to change when I started getting angry at my children for simple things. Like, yelling and screaming angry. I knew something had to change and be done. After I talked with a counselor I had a sessions with my wife and finally told her everything I'd been keeping in. Things have improved since we talked because she is more understanding of things now and she has gone to see counselors as well. We as Soldiers will always have PTS/PTSD, it doesn't go away, but we can learn to handle it, then help out others with the same issues. I think when you are able to help others with PTSD then you have moved into a part of life that will be easier for you.

SPC (Join to see) I was in total denial when I got home and the wife/family and I had a hard time adjusting to my return from my Afghanistan deployment. I kept having anger issues, no sleep/insomnia and my chest would lock up/panic attacks. Finally after going to the emergency room due to what I thought was a heart attack, I decided (with much pushing from my Ms.) to go to the VA to get checked on.

This started couple and PTSD counseling and communication is much better, we have a learned what to focus on and how to improve family and couple life together. No relationship is perfect, but all in all I believe we are better off due to the counseling.

Taryn, This is how I see things. Post Traumatic Stress and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder are two completely different subjects. Post Traumatic Stress is the body and minds normal response to an uncommon or unusual event. Example: A car accident causes you blood pressure to go up and you get jittery. These are temporary normal responses to an unusual event. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is exactly that a disorder. Example: Since I had my car accident whenever I get in a car I sweat and start to get jittery and my blood pressure goes up. This is an unusual response to a circumstance based on previous events that has altered your response to a life event. A new "normal" has been created.

There, now that I'm off my soapbox.

I am closer to my spouse in some aspects and more distant in others. Most of the closer stuff is her doing and most of the distance stuff is my doing. I can get up in front of a crowd and make people laugh or share Army stories with old friends without a problem. We get home and my wife says "The story you and xxxx were talking about, how come you never told me that story before?" I used to say "It never came up." (Public Extrovert/Private introvert) This created distance, and for me this was safe. When in reality I should have realized she's the one that really knows me and is the one I should have shared the story with in the first place. Exposing myself to the one that knows me makes me vulnerable and uncomfortable. I've tried to grow a bit, now I try to say "Sit down I'll tell you about it right now, then we wind up talking for hours. Uncomfortable? Yeah sometimes, but it beats sleeping alone.