Have you ever felt this way?

Will Any One Miss Me

Two year ago, every day I would fall into formation with my brothers and sisters in arms, we would joke and smoke together. During those days I was never alone, everyone watched out for each other. We fought together not because we had to we did it for the person to the left and to the right. We gave our all for each other; sometimes we gave the ultimate sacrifice for each other. We were never going to let one of our own die alone.
In combat we fought together, slept together and sometimes cried together. I was never alone; there was always someone to my right or to my left. I could count on that person to cover my ass. I would give my life for those I shared those moments with. I would give my life for one of them and they would do the same for me. If I were to die on the battlefield, I would be missed by my brothers and sisters in arms.
Today, I am alone all the time, there is no one in the foxhole next to me, no one to my right, no one to my left. There is no one out there who would die for me. My family doesn’t understand me, the doctors tell me I am depressed and I suffer from PTSD. They prescribe me medication and I go to group with others and share my experiences, not the good, only the bad.
Yet, it is just the lonely feeling I have and no one to share it with. Is there no one out there who would cry for me if I were to die today? Yes, I have a family. They do not understand why I miss being in uniform, why I miss the comradery of combat and being in the Armed Service. If I were to die today is there anyone out there who would miss me.
Yes, I am alone, there are days I sit and remember my Squad Leader, my older brother. I look to the sky for advice from my Platoon Sergeant, my father. I await the motivational speech from the” Old Man” as he was affectionately call, my Commander. The words never come they just ring in my head in dreams of days gone by and places with names I cannot pronounce.
If I were to take my life today, would anyone miss me or would I become another statistic for the Veterans Administration to quote. Will I be laid to rest in a grave where I will never be alone? Will I again be with my brothers and sisters In Arms laughing and joking in an eternal formation? Will I be laid to rest in uniform again, with someone to my left and someone to my right? I want to be laid to rest in Arlington. If not there, then lay me to rest in another military cemetery where I will never be alone again. I want to feel at home again with my brothers and sisters in eternal formation at rest, yet never alone and never missed.