Posted on Feb 21, 2014
PO3 Account Management Specialist
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Were any of you married young? Say, under the age of 25 or less than 4 years in the service?<div><br></div><div>In the very short 4 years I was in the service, I saw lots of marriages.... and divorces..... many by the same people. Ladies on my ship had 2 or 3 names and it was a matter of remember which one to call them one week to the next (maybe that's a SLIGHT exaggeration, but not by much.)</div><div><br></div><div>One of my young sorority sisters joined the navy a year ago in January. She worked her tush off for over a year before she was finally able to ship out. She was a nuke. All she wanted was to join the navy, be a nuke, have a career and make something of her life. She had some pretty crummy relationships and swore up and down she wanted nothing to do with boys for a few years until she could get her life on track.</div><div><br></div><div>1 year later, after graduating boot camp, and sitting at THU for 3-4 months, for background investigation and medical reasons, she was finally cleared as fit for duty and allowed to go to nuke school. During that time, she met a boy. In January, she flunked out of nuke school (much to her delight, she said it was too much drama and BS). Said boy got engaged and married in a 2 week period back in January and today she announced that she is pregnant.</div><div><br></div><div>Good job sweetheart. Way to ensure that you won't be shipped to the fleet undesignated since you couldn't focus in school and keep that dream career you always wanted. And way to ensure that (right now) you wont be placed on a different ship than your hubby.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm so disgusted and disappointed in/for her. Disappointed in her because she has literally done the exact opposite of everything she said she wanted out of the navy. She even said that she would get out of the navy if it meant not having to be on opposite deployment schedules from her hubby. So much for that dream career - sounds like you wanted and MRS instead. Disappointed FOR her because she has no idea what she's gotten herself into.</div><div><br></div><div>I so hope that she's doesn't become a statistic :(</div><div><br></div><div>This isn't an uncommon thing. I feel like it's much more common in the military than not due to the benefits. Maybe I'm just cynical, though.</div><div><br></div><div>Please.... somebody give me a positive young military marriage story. Did you get married young? If so, are you still together? How long? Do you have kids? Do you have a NORMAL FUNCTIONAL family life? I know there are some... but I have to be honest, I didn't know of many while I was in. That's another contributing factor to why I didn't make it a career. I decided that based on what I saw, there was no way I would ever be able to have a normal family life. I did, however, marry my military sweetheart - 2 months after he separated from the service (I was 26, he was 29 at the time, we've been married over 6 years now). He, unfortunately, was a young statistic, and I'm his second (and last, if I have anything to say about it!).</div><div><br></div><div>This is why that locality allowance based on rank and rank alone (and not family dependents) should be enacted. BAH is BS, and I've always thought it was a really bad use of taxpayer dollars to give young smucks extra money just because they got married or knocked up. You wanna get married or knocked up? Civillian jobs don't pay you more just because your family situation changes. Why should the military? Medical benefits are one thing, but paycheck in the form of BAH? Bah humbug.</div><div><br></div><div>Pardon my negative nelly attitude tonight. I'm really really disappointed in my friend, and I'm very frustrated. Nothing I can do about it, and doesn't really affect me, so I know I shouldn't care. But I do.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>
Posted in these groups: Rings MarriageC92a59d8 Family
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MAJ Ken Landgren
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Was her mom batshit crazy? lol
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CPT(P) Aviation Combined Arms Operations
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I'm a statistic... after 19 yrs of marriage, dual military couple, many deployments, schools, training, etc... it didnt work out!
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CPO Builder
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I was 19, met a girl that was 20 and 2 weeks later we married. We now have 2 beautiful children and we will be celebrating our 25th anniversary in 2 months.
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LCDR Vice President
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Yes and No, ended up being a single father on active duty for 6 years
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I reported on USS Hawkbill in November 1983, a 23 year old Ensign. I met the woman who would be my wife the next day at the Aloha Jewish Chapel. We were married in May 1984; here we are 31 years later, and planning the next chapter in our life...
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MAJ Ken Landgren
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I had sympathy for the light infantry as divorces abounded.
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SSgt Donnavon Smith
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Edited >1 y ago
When we got married we were both in the AF. I was a 21 y/o E-4 and she was 19 and an E-3. That was 19 years ago this past April. I think it comes down to stubbornness and Integrity. I made a promise to her and I am damned sure going to do everything in my power to keep it.
Sidenote: the original chaplain we were going to use would not marry us because I had not "Found God". The other merely had me promise that I would do everything possible to stay together. Done.
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SSgt Donnavon Smith
SSgt Donnavon Smith
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SFC James Sczymanski , HAHA, huh?
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CH (CPT) Command and Unit Chaplain
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I got married before my senior year of ROTC. This summer, by God's grace, it will be 7 years for us.

Worked out as I expected? Well, certainly not. Life changes you. Jobs change you. Children change you. Marriage isn't easy, and it's rarely what we expect. But, it's good.

I know I would not be the man I am today, the chaplain I am today, the (fill in the blank with all the other hats I wear) today were it not for my wife.
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PO1 William "Chip" Nagel
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Would I recommend it, NO! Would I do it again, Probably. The end of the story I rather like being Grandpa!
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MAJ Ken Landgren
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My last goal in life is to outlive my ex.
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MSgt Brian Welch
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I got married right out of tech school to my high school sweetheart. I was young and immature. In my mind I/we were ready for anything. We had a daughter, and an unaccompanied tour to Korea. She decided the military life wasn't for her. I realize looking back the marriage was because I was a scared country boy and was simply bringing a familiar piece of home with me. I've also seen the rush to marriage within my peers in the military. I would give the advice to be committed in a dating relationship for a few years and through a deployment before leaping into marriage.
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