Posted on Feb 21, 2014
PO3 Account Management Specialist
32.6K
249
99
20
20
0
Were any of you married young? Say, under the age of 25 or less than 4 years in the service?<div><br></div><div>In the very short 4 years I was in the service, I saw lots of marriages.... and divorces..... many by the same people. Ladies on my ship had 2 or 3 names and it was a matter of remember which one to call them one week to the next (maybe that's a SLIGHT exaggeration, but not by much.)</div><div><br></div><div>One of my young sorority sisters joined the navy a year ago in January. She worked her tush off for over a year before she was finally able to ship out. She was a nuke. All she wanted was to join the navy, be a nuke, have a career and make something of her life. She had some pretty crummy relationships and swore up and down she wanted nothing to do with boys for a few years until she could get her life on track.</div><div><br></div><div>1 year later, after graduating boot camp, and sitting at THU for 3-4 months, for background investigation and medical reasons, she was finally cleared as fit for duty and allowed to go to nuke school. During that time, she met a boy. In January, she flunked out of nuke school (much to her delight, she said it was too much drama and BS). Said boy got engaged and married in a 2 week period back in January and today she announced that she is pregnant.</div><div><br></div><div>Good job sweetheart. Way to ensure that you won't be shipped to the fleet undesignated since you couldn't focus in school and keep that dream career you always wanted. And way to ensure that (right now) you wont be placed on a different ship than your hubby.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm so disgusted and disappointed in/for her. Disappointed in her because she has literally done the exact opposite of everything she said she wanted out of the navy. She even said that she would get out of the navy if it meant not having to be on opposite deployment schedules from her hubby. So much for that dream career - sounds like you wanted and MRS instead. Disappointed FOR her because she has no idea what she's gotten herself into.</div><div><br></div><div>I so hope that she's doesn't become a statistic :(</div><div><br></div><div>This isn't an uncommon thing. I feel like it's much more common in the military than not due to the benefits. Maybe I'm just cynical, though.</div><div><br></div><div>Please.... somebody give me a positive young military marriage story. Did you get married young? If so, are you still together? How long? Do you have kids? Do you have a NORMAL FUNCTIONAL family life? I know there are some... but I have to be honest, I didn't know of many while I was in. That's another contributing factor to why I didn't make it a career. I decided that based on what I saw, there was no way I would ever be able to have a normal family life. I did, however, marry my military sweetheart - 2 months after he separated from the service (I was 26, he was 29 at the time, we've been married over 6 years now). He, unfortunately, was a young statistic, and I'm his second (and last, if I have anything to say about it!).</div><div><br></div><div>This is why that locality allowance based on rank and rank alone (and not family dependents) should be enacted. BAH is BS, and I've always thought it was a really bad use of taxpayer dollars to give young smucks extra money just because they got married or knocked up. You wanna get married or knocked up? Civillian jobs don't pay you more just because your family situation changes. Why should the military? Medical benefits are one thing, but paycheck in the form of BAH? Bah humbug.</div><div><br></div><div>Pardon my negative nelly attitude tonight. I'm really really disappointed in my friend, and I'm very frustrated. Nothing I can do about it, and doesn't really affect me, so I know I shouldn't care. But I do.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>
Posted in these groups: Rings MarriageC92a59d8 Family
Avatar feed
Responses: 70
MSgt Electrical Power Production
6
6
0
Married on June 30th at 18 left for boot camp July 5th. Married for 35 years now.
(6)
Comment
(0)
Avatar small
PO3 Personnelman
6
6
0
Edited >1 y ago
I was placed on "extra duty" after refusing to "date" my NCO at the duty station. The duty: picking up gumballs off the Officer's golf course and painting fences with the civiliams. The petty officer in charge of the detail was a good guy. Had no problems with him and we became good friends. Dated him weekly for about a year, and then married him in 1978. Eleven years ago, he passed away from an injury he received from an accident in the reactor room of a nuclear sub back in 1970/71 though the veterans administration declined to accept responsibility. We raised four children together. We worked together for 25 years on our marriage, our life, and our children. We stayed "best friends" for all of those years and no regrets for either of us except I wish he was still with me to finish growing old with. I miss him. (my only marriage, his second)
(6)
Comment
(0)
Avatar small
MSG Wade Huffman
6
6
0
I was 19 when my wife and I got married. She was 18. We're still together, over 30 years now. Was it easy? Hell no. Has it been worth fighting for? Absolutely. So, yes.. young marriages can be successful, but like everything else in life, you have to work at it.
(6)
Comment
(0)
Avatar small
SFC Siva Williams
6
6
0
My wife and I met at McGregor Range, Fort Bliss, TX. She was 19 and I was 20 when we met. We dated for nearly a year before we got married on the 1st of August. Saddam invaded Kuwait while we were asleep and when we woke up we knew that we our unit was going to war. Back then married couples in the same unit could not deploy together so she was reassigned to garrison while I deployed. This set the tone for the next 24 years of our marriage. We married young and we are also a interracial couple. My wife has weathered the storm of multiple deployments  and challenging assignments during the 90s. Not only was I deployed less than two weeks after we got married I was sent back to Saudi Arabia in 1993 for six months. The next year wasn't any better since I spent the first 17 weeks of 1994 in BNCOC followed by a deployment to Korea (they let me have a little over two weeks at home). I was gone 10 months that year. The time away for deployments should have been the kiss  of death for our marriage but we manage to survive and press on together. My deployments were six months long back then. I can't imagine being gone for years at a time at the start of a marriage. It would take a strong and determined spouse to make the marriage work when deploy lengths are a year long. I think marrying young while both parties are still immature is not the wise course of action during a time when units are suffering high optempo deployments. Now that we are transitioning back to a contingency military the challenges young couples face will not be as severe as combat and deployments. Now couples will have to figure out how to make ends meet with shrinking benefits and compensation. Young couples can make it but they will need support and mentorship. The good news is that young military couples have their kids earlier than civilians and will be empty nesters by the time military retirement comes around.
(6)
Comment
(0)
SGT Jim Barrows
SGT Jim Barrows
10 y
Awesome !!! That's all I can say.
(0)
Reply
(0)
SGT Richard H.
SGT Richard H.
>1 y
I always chuckle a little when I hear the term "interracial couple". You are both of the Human Race, yes?
(0)
Reply
(0)
Avatar small
1SG Alan Bailey
6
6
0
This May me and my wife will have been married for 24 years. We were married about 2 weeks after I graduated AIT. We have two great sons and have a stronge marriage. Don't get me wrong we have had the same streeors has everyone else but we make it work. I do get tired of hearing Soldiers blame a failled marriage on the military, it might have some to do with it, but i feel there are other things envolved.
(6)
Comment
(0)
SSG Cannon Crew Member
SSG (Join to see)
11 y
congrats MSG, being married that long is a great achievement
(0)
Reply
(0)
Avatar small
SFC G6 (Can't Specify)
5
5
0
I married my husband 11.5 years ago. We are both in the military and have deployed together. We have 8yr old twin boys. I can't lie and say it is or was easy but it takes two to make it work and I'm hoping to spend the rest of our lives together. :)
(5)
Comment
(0)
Avatar small
SFC Instructor
5
5
0
My marriage is still going strong after 16 years!
(5)
Comment
(0)
SFC Steven Borders
SFC Steven Borders
>1 y
That is great is has almost been 15 years for my wife and myself. With three beautiful daughters to show for it as well.
(0)
Reply
(0)
Avatar small
CSM G3/5/7 Sergeant Major
5
5
0

My first duty station was 15 miles from my home town.  I went back home, and got married within 8 months at 20 years old.  I knew her while I was still in school.  I was buddies with her cousing.  We have been married nearly 18 years.  We have been through 5 deployments, a myriad of schools, field exercises and training rotations.  It has not always been easy, but we got through it.  I think if you are not mentally prepared for the hardships, it definitely will not work.  Being married and a young soldier makes it even more difficult.  We got pregnant just weeks after getting married.  I wish we had waited, because boy did it make things tough on a E2s paycheck.  I am now on the downhill slide of my career.  I have 3 awesome kids, who despite me spending alot of time deployed, turned out alright.  So statistics are just that, statistics.  If they work at it, they can succeed. 

 

It is not impossible, but it will be difficult to make it through it.  I hope your friend makes it, and doesnt become that statistic.  Good friends will definitely help.....

 

 

 

(5)
Comment
(0)
Avatar small
SPC John Van Valkenburgh
4
4
0
Married at 21 yrs old 2 yrs TIS 9 years later still married with 2 kids. When the person is right they are right.
(4)
Comment
(0)
Avatar small
SFC Inprocessing
4
4
0
Image
PO3 (Join to see) I got married after completion of basic training at Ft. Benning, GA. in 2003. I was 20 and my wife was still 17. We're currently on our 5th assignment back at Ft. Benning were my career started. We've been through 3 deployments and have 2 children that are 10 and 5. We will have our 12th anniversary in June. Marriage isn't always easy, but in order to make one successful, people have to learn how to work things out. The Army has programs for marriage counseling and offers paid for trips known as "Marriage retreats" that may provide time for couples to spend together. I'm sure there are some situations that make divorce a primary option, but it's usually best to keep a family together!
(4)
Comment
(0)
Avatar small

Join nearly 2 million former and current members of the US military, just like you.

close