Posted on Feb 21, 2014
Did any of you get married young while in the military? Did it work out as hoped?
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Were any of you married young? Say, under the age of 25 or less than 4 years in the service?<div><br></div><div>In the very short 4 years I was in the service, I saw lots of marriages.... and divorces..... many by the same people. Ladies on my ship had 2 or 3 names and it was a matter of remember which one to call them one week to the next (maybe that's a SLIGHT exaggeration, but not by much.)</div><div><br></div><div>One of my young sorority sisters joined the navy a year ago in January. She worked her tush off for over a year before she was finally able to ship out. She was a nuke. All she wanted was to join the navy, be a nuke, have a career and make something of her life. She had some pretty crummy relationships and swore up and down she wanted nothing to do with boys for a few years until she could get her life on track.</div><div><br></div><div>1 year later, after graduating boot camp, and sitting at THU for 3-4 months, for background investigation and medical reasons, she was finally cleared as fit for duty and allowed to go to nuke school. During that time, she met a boy. In January, she flunked out of nuke school (much to her delight, she said it was too much drama and BS). Said boy got engaged and married in a 2 week period back in January and today she announced that she is pregnant.</div><div><br></div><div>Good job sweetheart. Way to ensure that you won't be shipped to the fleet undesignated since you couldn't focus in school and keep that dream career you always wanted. And way to ensure that (right now) you wont be placed on a different ship than your hubby.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm so disgusted and disappointed in/for her. Disappointed in her because she has literally done the exact opposite of everything she said she wanted out of the navy. She even said that she would get out of the navy if it meant not having to be on opposite deployment schedules from her hubby. So much for that dream career - sounds like you wanted and MRS instead. Disappointed FOR her because she has no idea what she's gotten herself into.</div><div><br></div><div>I so hope that she's doesn't become a statistic :(</div><div><br></div><div>This isn't an uncommon thing. I feel like it's much more common in the military than not due to the benefits. Maybe I'm just cynical, though.</div><div><br></div><div>Please.... somebody give me a positive young military marriage story. Did you get married young? If so, are you still together? How long? Do you have kids? Do you have a NORMAL FUNCTIONAL family life? I know there are some... but I have to be honest, I didn't know of many while I was in. That's another contributing factor to why I didn't make it a career. I decided that based on what I saw, there was no way I would ever be able to have a normal family life. I did, however, marry my military sweetheart - 2 months after he separated from the service (I was 26, he was 29 at the time, we've been married over 6 years now). He, unfortunately, was a young statistic, and I'm his second (and last, if I have anything to say about it!).</div><div><br></div><div>This is why that locality allowance based on rank and rank alone (and not family dependents) should be enacted. BAH is BS, and I've always thought it was a really bad use of taxpayer dollars to give young smucks extra money just because they got married or knocked up. You wanna get married or knocked up? Civillian jobs don't pay you more just because your family situation changes. Why should the military? Medical benefits are one thing, but paycheck in the form of BAH? Bah humbug.</div><div><br></div><div>Pardon my negative nelly attitude tonight. I'm really really disappointed in my friend, and I'm very frustrated. Nothing I can do about it, and doesn't really affect me, so I know I shouldn't care. But I do.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>
Posted 11 y ago
Responses: 70
I got married when I was 20 years old, I had about one year two months in the Navy and a E3. We where together over 23 years and had 3 kids. Before she ask me to leave because she did not love me. That was May of 1991, I just drop my retirement papers in February of 1991 to retire in February of 1992..
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PO3 (Join to see)
Sounds like she stayed for her piece of the retirement money....Yeah, I just went there.
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When my wife and I married I had been in 5 years, was an E5p at my second duty station and 25 years old.
Been married 23 years now and no sign it will end any time in the next few hundred years.
She was in the service when we met, got out as an E5 after Desert Shield / and Desert storm.
I had 4 combat deployments with three PDSS, and many, many, many months away training.
Raised two boys grown men now and doing well..What can I saw, worked for us.
Been married 23 years now and no sign it will end any time in the next few hundred years.
She was in the service when we met, got out as an E5 after Desert Shield / and Desert storm.
I had 4 combat deployments with three PDSS, and many, many, many months away training.
Raised two boys grown men now and doing well..What can I saw, worked for us.
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Wish I had some sage advice, but I owe the Navy 2 divorces, lol... It takes a special type of spouse to handle that kind of life. A lot of kids aren't ready for the adjustments required...
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When I was in AIT in 2004 I saw two Airmen get married and divorced before they graduated. Imagine the paperwork of trying to get assigned to the same base and then backtrack.
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I saw MANY marriages fail while in the service because they were kids with no real clue to what it takes to sustain a marriage. Had one who was just 18 , his wife 17, he was deployed when she got to Germany and wound up being sucked into the party scene by other soldiers who thrive on people like her, she wound up getting PG and had a black child, the hubby went off the deep end and she tried to blame him for everything, for not being there when she landed , for not being there to help her with housing and many other issues when in reality she was there just two weeks by herself and knew before she left the states that it would be this way, I think the love she professed t him was false as two weeks is a drop in the bucket to wait for someone. I also worked at a club where it was a known spot for wives to cluster looking for no strings attached sex while hubbies were deployed, it wasnt uncommon to go out to the shooting range behind this dive and find bodies laying all over the places. It may be fun at the moment, but it ruins lives and its even worse when kids are involved as they suffer the worst.
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My first marriage was at18 she didnt like the time downrange at Ft Carson.She left before we made it two years I'm on me third and I thank God for her she is the best . I think it's all in growing and understanding each other .life's been a great walk I'm proud of what's been learned.
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I think you misread her intentions, maybe she wanted a nuclear family not nuclear school. (sorry bad pun)
I along with a group of my peers had bad marriages. I married at 24 and was divorced in two years. The happiest of that marriage was during the two deployments while I was married. I married for honor because she got pregnant. I am not a bad person and knew that divorce was the best course of action. I have been happily divorced for nine years with full custody of our child.
The best marriages that I witnessed in the Corps were ended because of job hazards. I felt guilty for the widows because I was going through a crap a marriage and chose to divorce whereas their marriages were going well and life ended their happiness. Things will never make sense to those outside of the experiences. All we can do as spectators is to be supportive and guide with tactful advice.
I along with a group of my peers had bad marriages. I married at 24 and was divorced in two years. The happiest of that marriage was during the two deployments while I was married. I married for honor because she got pregnant. I am not a bad person and knew that divorce was the best course of action. I have been happily divorced for nine years with full custody of our child.
The best marriages that I witnessed in the Corps were ended because of job hazards. I felt guilty for the widows because I was going through a crap a marriage and chose to divorce whereas their marriages were going well and life ended their happiness. Things will never make sense to those outside of the experiences. All we can do as spectators is to be supportive and guide with tactful advice.
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I am very interested in this topic and have my own personal hypotheses about marriage and divorce in the military. I am actually in the process of recruiting participants for my clinical psychology doctoral project on the subject. I would really appreciate your participation.
Participants must have been previously married or are currently married, be male, army personnel, between the ages of 18-50. If you meet criteria please follow the link below to the consent form and survey:
https://mspp.co1.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_cOtWClm9JtqMXcx
The survey only takes 5-10 minutes to complete. Please forward this link to anyone who you think may be eligible to participate!
Thank you!
2LT Chester
Participants must have been previously married or are currently married, be male, army personnel, between the ages of 18-50. If you meet criteria please follow the link below to the consent form and survey:
https://mspp.co1.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_cOtWClm9JtqMXcx
The survey only takes 5-10 minutes to complete. Please forward this link to anyone who you think may be eligible to participate!
Thank you!
2LT Chester
Married & divorced MEN, 18-50 y/o, can participate in my research study! It only takes 5-10 min!
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Maj Chris Nelson
Is it only Army? I USED to be Army, am Air Force now.... Wife was with me in both branches.... Let me know!
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CPT (Join to see)
Thank you for your interest and question sir. If you married your wife while you were serving in the active duty Army, then you qualify to participate in my study. Thanks again sir.
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I don't understand what the problem is with her. What I see is a woman, thought young she is, joined the Navy to persue a dream and found out that it wasn't what she thought it was. Found a man she loves, married and now she is having a baby. Sounds like she was young and dumb (as most young people are when they join) and found what she wanted. This sounds like college as well. When young people go off to college, a lot of them end up parting so much that grades take a dump and some even drop out.
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Unfortunately there are many stories like this out there and most of them don't end well in the long run. My first marriage sure didn't work out. However I do know a guy that married his high school sweetheart either right before he joined or while he was on leave from boot camp. They are still married today and he has been in for more than 20 years so there is hope.
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