Civilians get divorced at a higher rate than the military. Did military service strengthen or ruin your marriage?

I have somewhat of a problem with your question. You are personifying the military. Applying personal traits to a non-human thing. The military can't cause a divorce nor save a marriage. Commitment and personal values are human traits not military traits. How do you measure the marriages of those who only stay in the military for 5 to 10 years?

I believe that the values that motivate the choice to be in the military and those that are absorbed while in the military, if recognized by both parties, are elements that foster greater tolerance to the unique qualities that disrupt the relationship. The impact that occurs for military personnel during times of war can skew those values and undermine the ability for tolerance, making the relationship fraught with tension that can drive it toward separation.

I saw lots of ruined marriages in the military. i can't say the military alone caused it, but when faced with tough times people have choices. Being married in the military can be damn hard. My wife and I had our rough spots, and it was often my job that was fueling the fire. I got out at 10 years. We're still married, and we are stronger than ever. It doesn't mean things have been perfect, but the army was certainly an additional stressor.

Unfortunately I am not sure I buy the premise of the flier. Although Military.com reports the same statitstic (http://www.military.com/daily-news/2013/01/23/military-divorce-rate-down-slightly-in-2012.html) as of 2013, the article states that "military and civilian divorce rates cannot be accurately compared due to how they are tracked."

In this article (http://paa2008.princeton.edu/papers/81696) by members of the RAND Corporation, the results state that although there is incentive to get married and stay married while in the military, that upon exiting the military, the divorce rate of formerly military couples is MUCH higher.

In every military professional development course I've been in, they stress how the military lifestyle is hard on families, from the frequent moves to the separation, duties requirements and deployments. My personal opinion is that a couple who is able to weather the storm will ultimately come out stronger, and the military has a lot of programs to help in this effort, however, I think that many marriages are doomed because they either cannot survive the stress while in the military, or the change from a military to civilian lifestyle is so dramatic that the upheaval of that particular change will stress a marriage to the point of breaking.

I was fortunate. I married late in my career, and the time in the military, I believe, did strengthen my marriage.

First off, kudos to any and all that have retired from any of the services, you've earned every benefit our Congress has "graciously" approved. Even more kudos to any spouse and family member that made the journey with you. I'm going back a long time, but pretty sure it's still the same. My experience was there was no question that the Army had to come first if you wanted to succeed. Military service did not strengthen or ruin my marriage because I never had time to meet and get to know anyone. I was the only single Battery Commander in the Division Artillery. Honestly, I would have thought that the military would have had a higher divorce rate.

I married while in the military, and divorced years later out of the military. Found a life long friend on second try. Been married to her 30 years. It is important to make sure you feel your significant others is a true friend. Friends accept your bad days and the good days.