Crazy things your 1SG or CSM have said?

This wasn't a 1SG/CSM who said this, but the most memorable thing I recall that I heard a senior NCO say (this was my senior Drill Sergeant to a private in front of me in formation): "If your penis is the size of your attention span, you would have a vagina!". 

I was sitting in the smoke pit with a bunch of others, and our command Master Chief was there with us - he was still wearing his cover. As a very young Ensign walked by, he stopped and asked the MCPO, "Master Chief, what do you do when you see a commissioned officer walk by you while wearing a cover?"

The Master Chief stood up, saluted, and said, "Now go home and tell your Mamma you saw a real Sailor."

It was all we could do to hold the laughter in until that officer was gone...

Had a 1SG that used to always say "come here son" you would get to him and he would reassure you with "I don't call you son because you shine, I call you son because you're mine". He really did take care of us and discipline us like we were his own kids though.