Are comments you make hoping to inspire and motivate really destructive?

I certainty hope not CPT (Join to see). However with the best intentions sometimes we attempt to help somebody that does nor receive our help they way we intended.

This is an excellent question. Every person in a leadership role whether military or civilian life should ask themselves this daily; especially when the need to council someone arises. I ( especially the first time I have to council someone) set up a relaxed atmosphere for the individual. I start out by pointing out their strong suits and commend them on their efforts. I believe this causes a positive influence on the individual by the fact that you show you are aware of their achievements and work excellence in some areas. After complimenting them, I then bring up the subject matter that they are lacking performance in. I openly discuss the problem and let them speak freely. Sometimes they are not even aware of the problem. A lot of times they even offer up the best solution on how to correct the problem. By handling the issue in this manner, the individual doesn't take it as a negative strike against them. Normally they feel that I am aware of their efforts to be successful and see the session not so much as a chewing out from their leader, but a leader that is concerned about helping them to improve in areas they lack skill and knowledge ; thereby helping them to grow in knowledge and skills needed to attain an advancement in their career. If approached in the correct manner, what most people would consider a negative experience can be turned into a positive experience producing a more motivated team member.

I like the discussion. I think back to the time when I was a young Leiutenant, unsure how I would be viewed by my man as a new officer, the one thing that bothered me the most was comments coming for the Senior NCO leadership. I valued and trusted them to help me develop into a good leader. Joking comments about my butter bars weren't helpful in getting me where I needed to be. So we should discuss how comments coming from all levels of leadership can be destructive.