If I'm proxy clearing and given a paper saying what must be turned in, will they only want what's listed or everything on my clothing record?

Your answer in its simplest form:

What ever is on the sheet they gave you stating they want it back, that is what you give back. As for your Clothing Record, look at the very last column all the way to the right. It'll say ETS Transfer. In that column, if there is an N under ETS Transfer, then you return that item. If there is a Y in that column then you can keep it.

I got tagged to proxy clear when I got to my last unit. This female got chaptered and somehow ETSed without clearing.

I went and picked up all her stuff but CIF wouldn't take anything without a FLIPL from the unit. Well most everyone had just left for a month long exercise and the "rear D" people were taking forever. I did clear a lot of other places. But the memo I had was only good for a month too. I got to medical records and they weren't going to sign it at first but then said "oh she picked up her records." (Of course she did).

It was actually confusing situation. I heard she had pissed hot as a SSG promotable so got demoted to SGT but then somehow managed to medboard out before getting chaptered? Something like that. I never knew her. But I never finished clearing her. I'm assuming the Army just held her last paycheck to cover CIF because once the unit got back and I started my job, I had no time for it. The company I think forgot about it. I know she texted me twice and I just said "not to be a bitch but this isn't my priority and I haven't gotten anything from the company."

I'm not sure what happened to all her gear. It was at the company for awhile and then they made me come get it and we had it in our section in the building we worked and then someone put it in a storage closet. That was almost 4 years ago...

If you're proxy clearing, you take whatever they give you for that person and turn it in and if they don't have everything, you're not responsible for it. Like they can't charge you for anything missing.

Who's "they?" The person you're clearing for? Or CIF? You can easily go to CIF and ask them what needs to be turned in. I did that when I PCSed Lewis in 2009 and they told me I had to PCS like I was ETSing because Ft Meade had no CIF. I had to turn nearly everything in.

Honestly since you are proxy clearing, you just probably need to turn in everything you got for that person. You're just the proxy for them. That's it. When I was walking around getting things signed off two people asked me "did someone die?" I told them no but then totally realized oh that makes sense, someone would have to go turn things in and clear for someone who passed away.

I just cleared out of Carson for PCS two months ago. They had a very abridged version of what they wanted back. It WAS NOT the typical does it PCS with you in your clothing record column we are all used to. It was like 10 things and anything ACU. My clothing record is like 5 or 6 pages long so they had plenty to choose from. It was any excess body armor, plates, gray profiles, and a few others.
Hope this helps, if all else fails call and ask them or swing by their office.