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My wife is stationed at Fort Bragg and Im stationed at Fort Carson (Dual Military). We got married after we got back to the states from Japan and had our first kid 6 weeks ago. I've been fighting a battle with my chain of command about giving me a counseling for a family care plan, per regulation both soldiers are supposed to get counseled and have a family care plan regardless if she's the one with the baby stationed elsewhere. They have still refused to counsel me and have me make a family care plan. I am trying to start my process to voluntarily get out due to hardship. Ive been away from my wife her whole pregnancy and now im supposed to be away from her for another year due to me not being able leave from here unless i re enlist. I have a year left on my contract while she has 3 years left. She's going back to work soon and still on waiting lists for day cares and right now we have no other secondary caregiver that can support my wife, no family members near by or anyone that can fly in to help with anything. I want to voluntarily get out to be there for my wife who's really depressed and right now we're both struggling (Especially me) when it comes to funding baby's day care, food, medical expenses etc, due to me being limited to just getting $900 every 2 weeks with no BAH or BAS. I am alot better prepared for the civilian life with a degree, certifications and work experience. We are both married in MACP, i have already tried everything when it comes to having me get tranferred over there and even spoke to HRC. But point is I've sat down with my chain of command (1SG & CDR) numerous times about starting this family care plan chapter and they are telling me since she's the one with the baby i dont need a family care plan and saying that me trying to voluntarily seperate is not going to work once it gets up to higher ups. They are telling me to just re-enlist, but 1 i don't want to make a 3 year commitment and 2 what if i get there after re enlisting and i get told im deploying in a couple of months then im back in the same boat. My chain of command are willing to help me with a compationate reassignment packet but not a family care plan chapter, which makes no sense especially when they keep saying they want to get me with my family. They keep asking me, why do i have to be the one to get out, and that for her to figure out the child care situation to keep calling day cares and stuff. What should i do ? Because im ready to go to IG.
Posted in these groups: 
Military Family
Military Family
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 4
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You should definitely go to IG so they can explain that your command is completely in the right. You should definitely know that so that it's not in the back of your mind that they are doing something wrong. Then you can start working toward an actual solution.
What would your FCP say? Absolutely nothing. Your kids don't reside with you. There is no need for short term care and your spouse is providing the long term care. There is an actual purpose for separating people for FCP, it's not to separate them because they are missing a piece of paper, it's to separate them because they are unable to meet work requirements due to family requirements. If your commander submitted an FCP separation, what do you think the Brigade Commander would say when it got in front of them? That COL would personally call that CPT and tear them apart for being an incompetent idiot. How is a commander going to try to separate someone for family care plan when their family isn't with them and isn't interfering with their work? If you don't understand why that's ludicrous, then you don't understand what an FCP is for, and your argument is moot.
You could reenlist to go to Carson. They are just returning from a deployment, they definitely aren't going anywhere any time soon. The three years starts from the day of reenlistment.
You can request a compassionate reassignment, but with a year or less to ETS, it will be denied. Compassionate reassignments are stabilized for a year after arrival. Having seen quite a few requests for CR through the years, I can 100% say that HRC would tell you to request a hardship discharge or reenlist for the assignment.
If you were nowhere near your reenlistment window you could request a permissive MACP reassignment where you pay for your own PCS. It's generally not advisable, but if you are just living in the barracks with no furniture, you're only paying for some gas to drive across the country. So, about a year ago that would have been an option for you.
Your options are:
1. ETS
2. Hardship discharge. It will take 1-3 months usually, then your new ETS will be 90 days later, getting you out about a whole six months early.
3. Reenlist and ask for a early report date change due to MACP and you could be out of there in the next 60-90 days.
4. Compassionate Reassignment request, which will almost certainly be denied for retainability, then you will have wasted about 2-3 months in processing and waiting for an answer. I can't guarantee that it will be denied, just that I've never seen one approved without having to extend or reenlist to meet the additional time needed
What would your FCP say? Absolutely nothing. Your kids don't reside with you. There is no need for short term care and your spouse is providing the long term care. There is an actual purpose for separating people for FCP, it's not to separate them because they are missing a piece of paper, it's to separate them because they are unable to meet work requirements due to family requirements. If your commander submitted an FCP separation, what do you think the Brigade Commander would say when it got in front of them? That COL would personally call that CPT and tear them apart for being an incompetent idiot. How is a commander going to try to separate someone for family care plan when their family isn't with them and isn't interfering with their work? If you don't understand why that's ludicrous, then you don't understand what an FCP is for, and your argument is moot.
You could reenlist to go to Carson. They are just returning from a deployment, they definitely aren't going anywhere any time soon. The three years starts from the day of reenlistment.
You can request a compassionate reassignment, but with a year or less to ETS, it will be denied. Compassionate reassignments are stabilized for a year after arrival. Having seen quite a few requests for CR through the years, I can 100% say that HRC would tell you to request a hardship discharge or reenlist for the assignment.
If you were nowhere near your reenlistment window you could request a permissive MACP reassignment where you pay for your own PCS. It's generally not advisable, but if you are just living in the barracks with no furniture, you're only paying for some gas to drive across the country. So, about a year ago that would have been an option for you.
Your options are:
1. ETS
2. Hardship discharge. It will take 1-3 months usually, then your new ETS will be 90 days later, getting you out about a whole six months early.
3. Reenlist and ask for a early report date change due to MACP and you could be out of there in the next 60-90 days.
4. Compassionate Reassignment request, which will almost certainly be denied for retainability, then you will have wasted about 2-3 months in processing and waiting for an answer. I can't guarantee that it will be denied, just that I've never seen one approved without having to extend or reenlist to meet the additional time needed
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I don't even think you'd get a compassionate reassignment even if you had more time left but this part: "They keep asking me, why do i have to be the one to get out, and that for her to figure out the child care situation to keep calling day cares and stuff." Seriously? Why can't you be the one to ETS? Do they expect her to ETS? How would that solve anything?
Childcare centers are on waitlist almost everywhere it seems like. On base or off base. There's not just going to magically be an opening if your wife calls daycare centers every single day. That's a pretty ignorant comment whoever told you that one. I'm in two different FB babysitter groups where I am and people are constantly looking for care because they have been on waitlist for a up to a year some people. On and off post. I've heard similar stories from people at other bases around the country.
Childcare centers are on waitlist almost everywhere it seems like. On base or off base. There's not just going to magically be an opening if your wife calls daycare centers every single day. That's a pretty ignorant comment whoever told you that one. I'm in two different FB babysitter groups where I am and people are constantly looking for care because they have been on waitlist for a up to a year some people. On and off post. I've heard similar stories from people at other bases around the country.
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I feel for your situation. It is rough. But your Command seem to be in the right on this. I know it isn't what you want to hear but it is all about justification. You don't have the justification. If you have a year left on contract and your Command is willing to push through the compassionate reassignment that is your best bet. You need to make changes fast to start improving the situation and that is gonna check the most boxes. Fighting for a chapter takes a lot of time and will drag out because the justification isn't there. And you risk burning bridges in the process. Use the compassionate reassignment to re-unite the family and consolidate. Finish out your contract and move forward. Good luck.
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