What would you recommend to someone considering going active duty without their wife?

Well, I can tell you one thing for certain, if your spouse does not support your enlisting, it will be hard to maintain a marriage and serve. My wife liked Active Duty, my son's first wife didn't want to be away from Mom and that ended in Divorce. Even having a wife that tries can fail, it can be a hard life for a Spouse. I guess the question you need to answer is would she be happy just seeing you on Leave?

The Army won't be there for you forever. The Army won't love you, take care of you, support you, etc.

What's more important - your wife or the Army? It's really that simple. What is worth sacrificing more to you?

Talking from experience... Don't do it. You chose your wife and committed your life to her. A deployment is one thing - all families have to deal with this sooner or later. Freely choosing to leave your wife for the Army - or any job that takes you more or less permanently out her life - makes a statement to your wife, your kids (if you have them), both families and all of your friends. The statement? That anything is more important than she is. It's rings loud and painfully for all to here. I speak from painful experience and the scars I carry I'd wish on no one. I said yes to a by-name request from my brigade commander. The "yes" handed me a civilian senior leadership position and all but guaranteed the next promotion or two. My wife agreed with the move. Your wife may ultimately agree with you - to keep you happy but remember this. SHE won't be. Your responsibiity is to her first and always. As a wise man said on RP, your priorities are GOD, Family, Country and Military Service. In that order and that order alone. Don't let anything stand between you and your wife, Ever. The saving grace for my marriage was an offer to go IRR and become expatriates. We were both excited and we chose to go together but the next 2-3 years were painful. Mistakes were made on both sides and we had to overcome those damn scars to save US. We celebrate our 20th anniversary next year and are looking forward to, at least, 20 more. I can't tell you what to do - but after 35 years in uniform - I can tell you that there is nothing Military Service can give you that will replace the feeling of having the woman you love bring you a cup of coffee in the morning and then climb back in bed with you. I've served in the Marine Corps, the Air Force and the Army so I speak from a solid foundation. The military gives us so much - training, travel, education, friends, mentors, a few shinies for your chest, and if you hang around, a nice retirement. But remember this - you can get most of those with any job. What the military takes away is something to consider. It takes 1st cries, 1st steps and 1st words, birthdays and training wheels, trick or treats and Christmas mornings, proms and graduations, dance recitals, ball games, father-daughter dances, family vacations, weddings and anniversaries and...last breaths. SPC Brewster - Patrick, take a moment and think about the responses you've received. The choice is yours...but it really isn't. You and your bride should be making decisions like this togther. You aren't deciding on a new shampoo. You owe it to her to make this decision together. Good luck - and Semper Fi.