Posted on May 29, 2015
Active Duty Spouse with Prior Service (Has anyone else experienced this?)
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I was told once that Active Duty Spouses with prior service were commonplace in the military. I served 6 years on Active Duty. Then, I married my Active Duty husband. The transition was excruciating. But now that I'm a SAHM and loving it, I'm finding a hard time feeling like I belong in any situation. When I go to my husband's unit's potluck FRG meetings, I end up sitting by myself because the wives don't understand prior service and the soldiers don't understand staying at home. Anyone else going through/been through this sort of thing?
Posted in these groups: 
Transition
Prior Service
Transition Prior Service
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 9
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SFC (Join to see) @SGT Christina Houde
You are doing the right thing by reaching out in RP and in your unit FRG.
You can bridge the two for other wives and help them better understand the soldier's side of deployment and FTX.
Downside is...more work for you and life on duty is hard enough without every person spilling their problems on your lap.
Keep trying to help, it will be honored and respected.
Blessings to you both!
You are doing the right thing by reaching out in RP and in your unit FRG.
You can bridge the two for other wives and help them better understand the soldier's side of deployment and FTX.
Downside is...more work for you and life on duty is hard enough without every person spilling their problems on your lap.
Keep trying to help, it will be honored and respected.
Blessings to you both!
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Perhaps you need to be a little more open minded. You can be the subject matter expert of what husbands are doing while deployed. Most wives worry about their while they are training and sometimes need to talk to some one. You have the most experience so I would start there.
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SGT Christina Houde
Tried that. They don't want to hear the truth. They often either get angry with me or avoid me because they are intimidated. But thanks for the suggestion.
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Ohhh yes... While I was in, it wasn't so bad. However, as I transitioned from active duty to a "Navy Spouse" (that still stings), things changed. Went to her Officers' Wives Meeting TWICE. Could barely stand to be around any of those who thought they wore their husbands' rank as well. I didn't play bridge; I didn't knit sweaters; and I didn't swill gin. I wasn't ostracized. But, let's just say I didn't "fit in" either. I showed up when expected. But, I found myself migrating to those active duty service members --vice their significant others. In reflection, I could have tried harder. However, we really had no common experience(s).
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