This Memorial Day I will not remember.

I miss men that I barely knew, yet was there to see them lay down their lives to honor their committment to the nation.
Time does not make it easier.
Current events make me question why they had to leave their families forever - promises of what they'd do together when they got home unkept.

For me, it is personal.
I'm in Vicksburg this weekend to visit two gravesites, just two in a small sea of markers just like all the rest. Last time I was here on Memorial Day I was not alone; there were others there doing small rituals. Some in uniform, some in black, some with small children there to visit daddy.
I will just share a little Wild Turkey with SSG Nicols and a Bottle of Duvel with PFC Letourneau.
Rest in Peace, men. I'll take it from here.

That's a great point, remembering does involve having to think about things. When my wife asks me if I remember, for the most part, the ole TBI stops a lot of it, and I cannot remember but sometimes it doesn't. When I am not expecting it though, my thoughts will catch me by surprise and I will think about my lost brothers. I will remember out of nowhere the feelings that I had when I heard that they were suddenly not there anymore. I will remember how I was sitting on the range on another island and got the message that my Soldier that was on Oahu I talked to a couple days before was suddenly gone and I will remember the hole that I felt. The numb feeling, then how I felt going through the rest of that gunnery. When I am on Staff Duty I always look at his Dog Tags and hold them in my hands for a minute and pay a moment to him. Then there are the ones over the years that left too soon.

I too feel the same way. Everyday, some days more than others. I go through my bit of survivor's guilt. SGT Ortiz, SGT Brilinski - A couple of cool guys from my PLT, KIA Feb. 27, 1991. A niece of SGT Ortiz reached out to me a few years ago. She was pretty young and didn't know much about her uncle. It's hard telling someone how great a guy he was. These two guys refreshed a lot of us on our crew served weapons. It's good that the families get a day to pay their respects.