Soldiers say the darnedest things!

I do promotion packets. I texted one soldier (E5-attempting to get his E6) and told him that he forgot to sign his 3355. He replied with "I don't think I have to sign that." - Some days it's really hard to stay professional. I wanted to reply with "Common sense says that if I told you that you needed to sign it (and I do these all the time) then you probably have to sign it". I didn't though, just pointed him in the right direction

My unit was at the qual range last year......PFC "Smith" was having a hell of a time zeroing his weapon. The range safetys were clearing him as zeroed, so he went to qual (took him 3 times). The first 2 times he went to fire for record, every time he came back to our gathering site, he would say..."They're shooting low, SGT." Finally, on the 3rd attempt, a smart range safety walked up to him and told him (as we found out later) he was shooting with the Night Rear Site. Once he flipped it to the right site, he came back and told us..."SGT, I qualified this time. The last 2 times I was shooting with my night site." He qualified, we laughed.

Ensign to me (our ship the USS Nimitz was participating in some type of event where ships from around the world were also present, but mostly civilian ships): "Petty Officer, is that the Italian flag on that ship?"

Me: "No Ma'am, that's the Mexican flag. The Italian flag is blank in the center and the Mexican flag has that symbol in the center."