Posted on May 10, 2015
SFC Small Group Leader
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My husband of almost 7 years dropped a bomb on me yesterday and now we are getting divorced after 8 years together. How did you get through? I'm at the can't eat or sleep phase and I will be for a few days. Gotta move again at some point though.
Posted in these groups: 9f1fce1d9322e67ae67401b61321d517 Dual MilitaryDivorce Divorce
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SSG Squad Leader
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It was very difficult for me to handle. I was deployed in Iraq when my ex wife dropped the divorce on the phone. To be honest, and I'm not ashamed to say it, I became depressed, I had to seek for advice from my Bn Chaplain and from my chain of command. Most of my peers were talking crap on my back and made fun out of my situation, but I overcame that. I started to work out, changed my eating habits and became more spiritual while deployed. When I returned from the deployment and faced the situation it was hard, and it was harder to explain to my son why daddy was leaving. He was 6 years old back then. I suffered a lot because of my son. But believe me, God always have a reason for all things that happens to us, and he hep us heal those hurtful wounds. The difficult part is to understand that is in God's time, not ours, when everything will be back in place.
My best advise? Keep your head high, walk tall, and no matter what be happy. Trust God and talk with your chaplain, or any chaplain ( I'm Catholic and my Chaplain in Iraq was Baptist and he helped me a lot). Take time to yourself and discover how amazing you are. You are not loosing anything, is your ex who is loosin more. Pray for him and forgive no matter how hard it is. Now, after all I went through, I found a wonderful woman, I remarried and I am happy. I learned from that experience and I can tell you I am happy. I will pray for you even though I don't know you. Army Strong! Hooah!
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SSG Paul Setterholm
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My ex had affair and divorced me as the airport when I returned home from deployment (note: we stayed state side). I went through the can't eat, can't sleep, can't focus in the gym phase. I found that running helped release the anxiety. At one point, I was running for 3 hours a day. I felt like "Forrest gump" but it worked.
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Thanks for the advice
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SSgt Chris Lambert
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On a personal, level just keep moving forward. Get a good lawyer.

On a professional level you have to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. I understand the not eating or sleeping but don't linger too long there. Seek out someone to talk to either professional or a good friend. Talk to your boss's get them on board and tap into that support network. Take some time off and remember that it is not your fault and people just go their separate ways.
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I'm going to take a little time...things will be okay
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