What Happens When Therapy Doesn't Help?

I completely switched professions. I became a nurse, a good nurse. I worked in several specialties. I worked all of the time. All of the time. Around the clock. Because I couldn't sleep. The job that finally did me in was as a sexual assault nurse examiner. The work needed to be done. You don't know what time the phone is going to ring or how old the patient is nor do you know how grave the Injuries are. I've been on every psych med and combo and still I cannot sleep. I am a grown child of a PTSD warrior from WWII. It was hell growing up and the moment I could sign up and leave, I left. I have been diagnosed with my own PTSD. My one wish is that I could sleep. I am telling you I have unsuccessfully attempted suicide more than once. Two cousins were successful, so perhaps there is some genetic component. I was sent to the PTSD unit in Topeka. One nurse. No groups, no activities, no one to check down the halls. Nothing but personel containment. I work one on one with a therapist mostly because I worked professionally with over 90% of the VA Behavioral Health staff in civilian settings. The only "psych meds I take and have taken for over a year are 2 mg of alprazolam and 20mg of zolpidem. This slows my mind enough to rest. Recently they added Prazosin Hcl. It is supposed to be the new miracle drug that gets that on/off switch to go off at night and allow sleep. I have atypical response to most meds so it didn't work. The plus is I can read about a book a night. I volunteer at several wonderful places. I dance. I used to horseback ride daily. Cancer and its buddies put a stop to that for the time being, I know, I don't look like I have PTSD. I don't "look sick" at all. I look just fine.

Going through the same thing here mate, both me and my wife (she's not a vet). For me, writing helps. I can blog out there and without really caring who reads it I can explain how I feel. I can share the link if you want to read, but that's not my purpose for writing here.

Most important, the whole reason I write this, you are not a burden. Not to your family, to your friends, or to your coworkers. I spent years after my deployments wondering how to find worth in myself. At some point what a friend said to me finally sunk in. You have worth because you are a soul. That in of itself has value. There is nothing you can do that can increase or reduce that base value. You have worth because you are. At some point, maybe not now, that will make sense. For me, until that point I was terribly confused by the whole statement. Then somewhere last year it finally clicked.

I like the book Why is Dad Mad?, but also Brian Castner's book, The Long Walk, is definitely worth a read. I gave it to my family to read and that helped them understand where I was at. Progress is slow, but it does happen.

Darn PTSD!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pm9KBabovmc

If your "friend" hasn't heard Epiphany by Staind, you should make him listen to it. This song speaks SO MUCH to me.

It's not out of the ordinary for your friend to feel all alone. I've got a huge family and I still to this day feel like the odd one out. I have had a lot of failed relationships. Yeah, there were some assholes, but I am also not ready on the inside to make that commitment. I just need to take care of myself and my little family.

Feeling like I am alone and the odd one out is something that I am going to have to get over myself. I don't like asking for help. Hell, I DON'T NEED IT! At least that's what I keep telling myself. My house is in shambles, mainly because I have a 8 year old that likes to throw and leave stuff on the floor, but I also feel like I am just too overwhelmed. Single mommy, working, trying to make ends meet is tough. I am always so busy. The only time that I have for myself is when I go to the bar for a couple of hours, once a week, to just get away. ME time.

I think a lot of us that suffer PTSD need Me time. If its playing pool, golfing, going for a run, fishing, we need time to reflect. Your friend is not a burden, although he might feel like it. Don't let ANYONE ELSE make your friend feel that way. I mean no one can MAKE your friend fell that way, he does have a choice.

Talking. Talk to your friend or tell him to reach out and talk with someone who knows where he is coming from.

I hope I've helped your friend a little. Have a great day!