Posted on Mar 12, 2015
SSgt Carpenter
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Just for kicks. Blue falcon stories.

I was a pretty new private, and my NG company sent a platoon to Germany as part of an ODT rotation at Hohenfels. The first night we were there, our platoon SGT told my team leader to provide a guy for latrine watch, to prevent nationals from a particular mid eastern country from crapping in the sinks and showers, like they had the last time our guys were there. Being the new guy, I was picked for the job. However, there was no roster, they were going to come up with one, but somebody had to get on the job right now. After a few hours on the job, I began to wonder if I was getting a replacement. So I see a guy from my platoon (one of the permanent private types) and ask him if he'll remind my team leader that I'm out there. He tells me, "Hell no, if I do, he'll send me out here," and walks off. A couple hours later, a more dependable soldier came by and he got me relieved.
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TSgt Ncoic, Combat Training Detachment
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I shared one that was done to me, now one that I did to someone else because they deserved the Hell out of it.

There was an E-7 (now retired) who, when our commander went on leave, sent out an e-mail saying all leave would be denied for the next two weeks.
No reason given. No exceptions made. No way to mitigate. All leave denied.
My supervisor managed to corral him into admitting he sent it because LeaveWeb was down and he didn't know how to process paper leave forms.
Well, that pissed me off because my wife and I had planned to drive up to Scotland within that timeframe and we had to cancel our hotel reservations and re-schedule our entire trip. At the time she was 8 months pregnant, and this was gonna be our last huzzah before we became parents. Rescheduling pushed us right into the 9th month.
So I waited. I knew this particular Master Sergeant took a trip each year to visit his family back stateside. He loved this trip, talked about it constantly, etc. Flash forward a few months. I've had my child, we're all good, everyone forgot about the leave SNAFU, and nobody but my supervisor, the commander, and I knew about the reason for his e-mail. Our unit had a policy; leave cannot be entered later than two weeks prior to travel. And this guy always filed his leave on the 14th day out from his trip.
So I let our comms guy in on the deal, told my supervisor, who simply nodded his approval, and put to work.
His office was right outside the watch floor, his monitor faced us. So the moment I saw him bring up LeaveWeb, my comms guy would cut his LAN. Boom, can't connect to LeaveWeb.
He tried this a few more times before he gave up and moved to another computer. Told my comms guy. Boom. Boom. Boom. Knocked out his LAN for each of the computers in sequence for every one he went onto. He was RAGING. He came over to us and asked if we were having issues, of course we weren't. Told the comms guy. "No sir, we're all good here, must be an issue with your profile. I can put in a ticket if you want, but it might take a few days to get resolved."
Full panic. He's already got tickets. He can't miss this.
Tells us he's gonna check with the commander about an exception to policy.
Crap, I hadn't thought about him going to the top. I almost just called an end to it right there, but decided, no, I'm gonna chance it. So I messaged my commander on Messenger, told him MSgt So-and-so was coming, etc. He didn't respond, so I could just sit and hope. Dude comes flying back to the watch floor to call his wife and tell her to try to get a refund for the ticket because the commander wasn't going to make an exception for him.
So my supervisor, who I should add is prior-Army pre-9/11 looks at him with a straight face and says, "You could always fill out a paper leave form. You know how to do those, right?"

At that point it clicked, and he threatened us will all sorts of BS; paperwork, JAG, etc. etc.
The commander then intervened and told him, no, he wouldn't be doing any of those things, and he would in fact be filling out a paper leave form if he wanted to take leave.

I'm not a complete a-hole; of course we showed him how to do a paper leave form and got his leave approved. But watching the slow rolling panic over the course of a 12-hour shift set in was sweeter than any candy on Earth.
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Cpl Ed Hines
Cpl Ed Hines
6 y
This entire process is why I'm glad I'm not in anymore.
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PO2 Nasser Montes
PO2 Nasser Montes
6 y
Maybe because I’m old school Navy, but how does an E-7 not know how to fill out a paper leave form?
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TSgt Ncoic, Combat Training Detachment
TSgt (Join to see)
6 y
PO2 Nasser Montes Beats me. I was shown how to do one as an E-1.
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SPC Combat Engineer
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One day my friend was driving and I did not think the gate guard would know what I was doing. Well he did and it was funny..So we pull up the the main gate and I hand over my cac. Then I blinked SOS to the guard. Guard pauses very briefly: Sir how are you doing today. Me: I`m doing good -hand pats on my knees signaling SOS again- Gaurd: Mam please put your car in park open the glove box,center console and trunk. She does everything is fine. Close everything up. I queued one last signal and she got a good pat down. I`m really shocked the guard knew what I was signaling but the whole time she had no clue that it was me that caused her to get a "random inspection"
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SSgt Carpenter
SSgt (Join to see)
>1 y
That's just a good prank!
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SGT Stefan Humphrey
SGT Stefan Humphrey
9 y
That's just random ass fun!!!
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SPC Combat Engineer
SPC (Join to see)
6 y
1LT Lee Chr It’s responses like this as to why I keep a camera on me essentially 24/7, between cameras for my barracks, houses, dash cam, and body camera. It makes life easier based upon what is, and not what you believe did or didn’t happen.
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PFC Cavalry Scout
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Just the other week I noticed one of our new guys struggling to attach a clu to a javelin (not a real javelin, a miles gear javelin). I went over to help and he told me a little piece was broken. While we're both trying to fix it, an nco comes over to see what's going on and the new guy I'm trying to help tells him I broke it.
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SSgt Carpenter
SSgt (Join to see)
>1 y
Pakaaww, Pakaaaww
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Cpl Ken Thynes
Cpl Ken Thynes
6 y
Wall to wall counseling
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