Posted on Feb 26, 2015
SFC Josh Jackson
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Hello, my people! I was recently asked to provide input on an NCOER we're writing for an E-6 who recently transferred to our shop. His losing unit did not write him an outgoing NCOER, so of course it falls on us to pick up the pieces.

The losing unit sang his praises, offering gushing adoration for this guy. But when we pressed them for bullets, they were unable to come up with anything concrete. Their failure to point to specific accomplishments more or less matches our observation of him.

He's a guy that would probably do well if we still had SP6 as a rank. So when my counterpart (his new rater) asked for bullets, this was my tongue-in-cheek reply:

* Can successfully inhale and exhale in sequence without supervision
* Routinely laces boots without causing loss of circulation to feet
* Surfs social media on his cellphone better than any other E-6 I've observed
* Maintains steady temperature in whatever chair he is occupying

So I thought I'd throw this topic out to all of you. Any humorous evaluation comments you've seen, or wish you could've included in writing one? Please share!
Posted in these groups: 1024px smiley.svg HumorEvaluations logo Evaluations1efa5058 NCOERBilde2 OER
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Responses: 401
MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P
476
476
0
Best comment I ever read on a performance review looked like this:

"There is no National emergency, real or imagined, that merits retention of this member."
(476)
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CPL Joseph Elinger
CPL Joseph Elinger
5 y
I think we've all served with at least 1 of these guys specifically.
LOL !
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Sgt Dale Briggs
Sgt Dale Briggs
5 y
Ouch, must be incredibly worthless, how did they get thru boot tells a lot about boot.
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SFC James Welch
SFC James Welch
5 y
The only way anyone would follow this Officer is out of sure curiosity!
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SSG Eric Blue
SSG Eric Blue
5 y
One LT, 17 NCOs, and dozens of junior soldiers I've encountered would fit this comment.
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COL Charles Williams
271
271
0
This is real... I read them... Not mine luckily... Both LTs...

1. Attempts to lead by example, and often succeeds.

2. This officer should consider a management position in the fast food industry.

Both left the Army as LTs...
(271)
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SPC Steven Nihipali
SPC Steven Nihipali
>1 y
PO1 Chad Alcock - go medic! LMAO! That sucks, but damn... cheaten ass wife couldn't get her shit off on him? I know this happens a shit ton all around the military, but damn man, that lady gotta be in her mid 30's or that young kid.
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PO1 Chad Alcock
PO1 Chad Alcock
>1 y
SPC Steven Nihipali - He was actually an older SPC. So not much younger than the CO.
(1)
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Sgt Diane Rasar
Sgt Diane Rasar
5 y
After serving 2 years at Travis AFB in California, I was volunteered to go to Budget school in Texas. After graduation I was transferred to Hamilton AFB, also in California. When I came up for promotion it was discovered I had no performance evaluations for 2 1/2 years. So my commander told me to write my own evaluations - all 7 of them. I must have written good ones because I got promoted. I think it was harder to write my own rather than someone else's. NOTE: There is no curse words in my story. I always told people who cursed there are over 160,000 words in the dictionary, pick one.
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SP5 Elbert Eller
SP5 Elbert Eller
5 y
I hated doing my own evaluations both army and civilian. Always wondered if I was being to good or to bad on myself.
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LTC Field Artillery Officer
232
232
0
* His / her Soldiers follow him out of curiosity alone
* Private trapped in an NCOs body
* Continues to set lows standards and fails to achieve them
(232)
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SPC Rick LaBonte
SPC Rick LaBonte
>1 y
I had several NCOs I served under that fit the first statement!
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CPL Steve Freeman
CPL Steve Freeman
>1 y
Not very flattering lol
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PO2 Stephanie Brown
PO2 Stephanie Brown
>1 y
Number one
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SSG Eric Blue
SSG Eric Blue
5 y
With some of the NCOs I've experienced during my before AND after earned my chevrons, these comments would be perfect to describe them.
(1)
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