Funny Forced March (Hump) Stories!

While preparing for a hump during my time in the grunts, I had a Lance Corporal that did not like water, I do not know how he made it through boot camp. Anyway we are headed on a 20 + mile hump near Camp Margarita on Camp Pendleton on a hot summer day. We are told to hydrate copiously and make sure all possible canteens are full before we step off, we are humping crew served weapons too, so we knew its gonna be a rough one.

We get on the road and not even two miles in, my Lance Cooley is not looking good, he is hurtin for certain and I tell him to drink some water, he gives me this look like I am crazy and tells me he drank both his canteens already, so being his NCO I give him one of mine, not 5 minutes later he asked for my second one, so now I am pissed but concerned at the same time. So reluctantly I agree and I give him my second canteen. This is when I realize he is not doing good, I can see that he is not faking but did not want to skyline him either, we had a howling mad Company Gy that could spit nails. Another five minutes go by and we are humping at a quick pace, damn 6'5 Colonel busting our butts right. I move along aside of him to motivate and tell him we are getting ready for our first stop, which was a lie because we were not stopping anytime soon. When all the sudden he goes down like Frazier in stride, he took a step but went straight on his side, he did not put his hand down to break the fall, so I knew he was a legit heat casualty.

I yell Corpsman up!!! I could see the Corpsman running over but then I see our Company Gy.......... Gunny Ojala... he comes running up screaming at this Devil Dog, I even took a little fire for not squaring him away. The Corpsman starts to loosen his clothing and Gy Ojala yells "Lets see if this Boot is faking, get the Silver Bullet" if you dont know what the Silver Bullet is, its the rectal thermometer. They dropped this kids drawers and greased him with the silver bullet, Gy Ojala is standing over this Devil Dog, until that point the Lance Cpl was mumbling and incoherent, all of the sudden when the Silver Bullet was applied he looked up at the Gy and Said "Mama".............................. ooooohhhhh you should have seen the Gy's face, you would have thought he punch him in the jaw! A couple of seconds later he realizes how funny the whole moment was and says "In 20 years of service not one Marine has ever called me Mama" It was absolutely the funniest thing I have ever seen and will live in my memory forever.

BTW the Marines was dehydrated and heat casualty, got a ride in the Humvee, but he never got to live down the Silver Bullet.