What help does the Army give us when ETSing with dependents from OCONUS?

The only thing you will receive is your regular check. You are not entitled to anything while you’re on PTDY. They are not going to pay you anything additional because you’re ETSing which is a choice. The Army pays entitlements when they relocate you to another location duty station, not a ETS. No disrespect, just because you’re coming from overseas on an ETS doesn’t entitle you to anything additional, it’s the same whether ETS stateside or overseas.

ETSing from the Army is something known about in advance so it’s your responsibility to plan accordingly not the Army’s. I wish you the best....

Get with S-1/G-1 or the Finance and Travel Office
That way you get the Facts and the Regs For CYA

What it gives you is time. Lots and lots of time to plan your transition. You can start SFLTAP 18 months in advance. If you don't want to ETS from OCONUS you can extend the required time to PCS to a CONUS assignment and transition from there.
You also don't get Permissive TDY when you ETS from OCONUS, that only applies to retiring from OCONUS. You're not receiving TLE/TLA or DLA because you're not PCSing.
The Army will pay to transport you, your family, and your HHG to your home of record.
You'll definitely want to be saving money for at least a year in preparation to move. You'll need money to start new services, rent, security deposits, etc. Plus, your final pay is held several weeks for an audit to ensure you don't owe any type of debts to the Army.