How personal should we become to really know our military subordinates?

Talking to your Soldiers one on one works wonders for me, when I see a soldier in the smoking pit, I just ask him how he doing? How things going at home? Basically under the Oaktree counseling but in a informal way. I used to have this CSM that's used to stop soldiers and asking them how they doing? Or talked to them about the last night game as an ice breaking. Soldiers use to open to him and talk freely. I try to use the same approach. the key is to be an approachable leader. Other tools is during developmental counseling session with the soldier, talk to the soldier and show him that you are interested in his well being and his career development, that he is part of the team, treat them with respect and consideration. Be fair across the board and you will see they eventually will open to you and seek guidance from you.

I think the biggest thing SFC (Join to see) is that you need to build trust with your Soldiers first.

The first thing which I ask my Soldiers to do is write a small BIO about thier life upt to the point of me becoming their Leader. This is where I start to learn about my Soldiers. You would be amazed at how much they open up on paper. The reasons they came into the Military and where they came from. Dertails that really assist in the whole Leadership process.

Your Soldiers need to know that they can come to you in confidence. I have Soldiers from other Units and wherever come to me with things because I do not talk about what a Soldier tells me unless it is something of Suicide. My word is my BOND without a doubt. That word gets around for sure.

If we as Leaders just take the time to listen to Soldiers and try our best to assist them with the resources we have available.

Soldiers these days want to know that you are a human being not just an ass chewing robot. It is a fine balance and you will improve in this area as you gain rank and experience. Not all the experiences will be pleasant and those will be the ones that make the biggest impact.

I am kind of a different animal and I am at a rank and time in service that make it easier for me to see the whole picture. However, I spent most of my time allowing my Soldiers to know exactly what kind of a human being I am. I shared my experiences prior to joining the Army, I shared my family experiences with my Soldiers, I had platoon parties at my house and I did my best to relate with all my Soldiers regardless of age or background.

I was always professional and if you ask the majority of my Soldiers throughout the years they would probably tell you I was a raging asshole but, they knew who I was, what I expected and they always far exceeded my expectations.

The majority of the time you have to turn the screws to keep the crew in line but, you have to know when to be a brother/sister or father/mother figure to find out what the real issue is.

Good post!