Posted on Jan 31, 2015
Should married people be treated differently when assigning duties around Valentine's Day?
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Im a married E5. In my unit we have E6s pull CQ. My squad leader has CQ on February 13. He chose me, another E5 in the squad who is single, and a single E4 in our squad to be his runners for that day. There are 2 other E4s in our squad that are single. I had made plans with my new wife to go out of town for that weekend. And even after telling my squad leader that and informing him there are 2 single joes that he could choose instead of me he is being extremely difficult and says "welcome to the army, your doing CQ with me" I've been in the army for almost 6 years and I've never seen 3 NCOs on CQ before. Especially when there are joes he could choose. It wouldn't be a big deal normally but like I said, I had made plans to go out of town with my wife for that weekend. What can I do? This doesn't seem fair at all. Absolutely no common sense. I'm thinking of using the open door policy but my 1SG has always had his back so I don't think it would make a difference if I did.
Posted in these groups: 
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Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 264
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Sergeant,
If you don't have an approved DA-31, then you did not "make plans". How would it be fair for your squad leader to give you preferential treatment due to your marital status?
If anything, Sergeant, you should be looking out for your subordinates instead of throwing them under the bus. I'm just a specialist (E-4) and even I know this. I pulled staff duty in place of one of my PFCs on Christmas Day, for free and without his asking me to, just so he wouldn't have to and so he'd know I care. Maybe it would be best if you took this to the 1SG, so he can understand what type of NCO you are.
If you don't have an approved DA-31, then you did not "make plans". How would it be fair for your squad leader to give you preferential treatment due to your marital status?
If anything, Sergeant, you should be looking out for your subordinates instead of throwing them under the bus. I'm just a specialist (E-4) and even I know this. I pulled staff duty in place of one of my PFCs on Christmas Day, for free and without his asking me to, just so he wouldn't have to and so he'd know I care. Maybe it would be best if you took this to the 1SG, so he can understand what type of NCO you are.
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GySgt (Join to see)
He was not drafted. He enlisted in the Army by his own choice knowing that there would be holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other special days that would be missed. As important as Valentine's Day is, if he had really planned to do something special, maybe he should have requested leave in advance so that he could ensure he had that day off to spend with his wife.
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"Fair"?! "Married"?! What if the single guys made plans with the girls they hope to marry someday?
Lead from the front sarg.
Lead from the front sarg.
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PFC (Join to see)
I hate it when someone bitches about fairness... that thinking should stop when you mature. life is not fair, just be happy to be alive
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CPL Timothy Lane
I have always had my Nco's back or at least until he asked me to lie to his wife about late night GI. Party. I always put the Army first. Now I sit here with untreated Injuries while the scum at V.A. St. Louis Records Management Center continues to hide my L.O.D. proof. Because he didn't like me on active duty twenty years ago. Mr J. Winters I am not the Black guy you thought I was. Let my Military Medical Records be released to me. The point is did you let your senior know at earliest possible opportunity?
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SSG Bill McCoy
CPL Timothy Lane - Not sure if you're saing Winters was the past NCO, and currently a VA employee. IF that's the case, you can/should contact the VA Insp General, if you can verify he has a conflict of interest.
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All I can say is Suck it up Butter Cup. Valentines day is also my anniversary with my wife. This year I am deployed. Last year I was in Ranger School. This is my third deployment. I have lost so much time with my family I don't even know when to start but deploying several years back when my daughter was 3 months old could be a good start. I would say this. You are a leader. The NCO creed should mean something. I think there is something about not using your rank for pleasure, profit, or personal safety. I would think this falls in the pleasure part.
With that being said family is important. If you don't want to miss any time with them then you might want to choose another profession. By doing CQ it shows you are taking care of your soldiers. To be honest if you opened doored me with such a request I would really question a few things. Just so you know GEN Mattis pulled officer of the Day duty for a younger Marine once. He didn't have to but he was a leader and set the example.
With that being said family is important. If you don't want to miss any time with them then you might want to choose another profession. By doing CQ it shows you are taking care of your soldiers. To be honest if you opened doored me with such a request I would really question a few things. Just so you know GEN Mattis pulled officer of the Day duty for a younger Marine once. He didn't have to but he was a leader and set the example.
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Capt (Join to see)
I've spent a total of 1 Valentine's Day with my spouse. The first year he was pulling staff duty, the next year I was TDY, last year I was TDY again, but he managed to fly out and see me at my location. I would trade a multitude of other holidays to spend with my spouse like his birthday or Christmas rather than a silly commercial holiday.
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CPT (Join to see)
Capt (Join to see) I am sure we will both miss out more days in the future to come too.
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Capt (Join to see)
Agreed, that's why you have to make the most out of the days you do get with family/friends.
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