Posted on Feb 12, 2019
How do you recover from a particularly bad first impression?
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How do you recover from a particularly bad first impression?
So I recently joined an ROTC battalion. When asked about my prior experience, I answered truthfully, "I served 4 years active, and 6 in the reserves." With my deployment patch, the cadets were impressed. They had high expectations, and I was ready to show them just how awesome NCOs are at everything.
Then things went awry. Within the next two weeks, I got a flat that grounded my truck, my grandma passed, I sprained my ankle, and got a minor surgery that I'd waited about a year to get. The doctor let me know that I wouldn't be participating in PT until the sutures came out.
I couldn't believe my luck... And even though I was providing solid documentation, and giving updates ASAP, the leadership gave me looks like "Oh, ok... You're a malingerer."
I finally had a heart-to-heart with the commander, and she and I have an understanding that I have shown up and done whatever I could, whenever I could - I never quit. I've just had temporary limitations. I even went against my docs orders and did calisthenics because I was so fed up with having to standby alone as everyone thought, "Why is he too special to join in?"
Unfortunately the leadership doesnt really bring that understanding down to the cadets, and they seem pretty underwhelmed with "the most experienced cadet." The perception is that I'm not reliable, and that I will always ask for some special treatment, on account of whatever excuse I'm currently using.
The frustrating part is that I know I'm a good soldier, and I know I can be a great officer. I know I'll get my stitches out on the 14th, and that my ankle is feeling better. I'll be the first on the track, and can show them the high-performer I've been for years. I've never had a problem like this in all my time served.
I feel like that perception is going to take a lot of time and overcompensating to show the cadets who I really am. How can I show them I'm not a malingering POS, but that am a good cadet who was going through an extraordinarily bad time?
So I recently joined an ROTC battalion. When asked about my prior experience, I answered truthfully, "I served 4 years active, and 6 in the reserves." With my deployment patch, the cadets were impressed. They had high expectations, and I was ready to show them just how awesome NCOs are at everything.
Then things went awry. Within the next two weeks, I got a flat that grounded my truck, my grandma passed, I sprained my ankle, and got a minor surgery that I'd waited about a year to get. The doctor let me know that I wouldn't be participating in PT until the sutures came out.
I couldn't believe my luck... And even though I was providing solid documentation, and giving updates ASAP, the leadership gave me looks like "Oh, ok... You're a malingerer."
I finally had a heart-to-heart with the commander, and she and I have an understanding that I have shown up and done whatever I could, whenever I could - I never quit. I've just had temporary limitations. I even went against my docs orders and did calisthenics because I was so fed up with having to standby alone as everyone thought, "Why is he too special to join in?"
Unfortunately the leadership doesnt really bring that understanding down to the cadets, and they seem pretty underwhelmed with "the most experienced cadet." The perception is that I'm not reliable, and that I will always ask for some special treatment, on account of whatever excuse I'm currently using.
The frustrating part is that I know I'm a good soldier, and I know I can be a great officer. I know I'll get my stitches out on the 14th, and that my ankle is feeling better. I'll be the first on the track, and can show them the high-performer I've been for years. I've never had a problem like this in all my time served.
I feel like that perception is going to take a lot of time and overcompensating to show the cadets who I really am. How can I show them I'm not a malingering POS, but that am a good cadet who was going through an extraordinarily bad time?
Problem Solving
Advice
ROTC Instructor
Posted 6 y ago
Responses: 8
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I've been in your boots before. Freshman / MS1 year, I earned a measly 2.0 GPA before changing major. At ROTC camp, I missed push-ups despite having strong sit-up and run score on first PT test along with getting an UNSAT on a lane.
I earned my commission by being persistent and accomplishing other achievements (i.e. airborne school, ROTC volunteer work, etc.). You are down, but not out.
I earned my commission by being persistent and accomplishing other achievements (i.e. airborne school, ROTC volunteer work, etc.). You are down, but not out.
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SGT John Hemenway
While I imagined something a little less tumultuous, I still have every opportunity ahead of me. This really was a test of my persistence, and an invitation to recommit myself to my goals. I appreciate the words of encouragement, Sir.
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SGT John Graham
Persistence and a can do attitude makes a big difference. After the military I was a sworn Police Officer for two years before I went to the Police Academy. Prior to starting the academy I was injured in a LOD shooting. I healed well, but had limitations imposed by the Medical Doctors. In many of the training evolutions I heard "do it the way you're taught, not the way you handled it on the street". I had some very good F.T.O.'s before the academy. Real world and training have to complement each other.
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Rough as it sounds, time is about your best bet. Keep performing to your full potential (without making your injury worse) as you have been, and hopefully they'll come around in time.
That's a heck of a run-in with Murphy's Law.
That's a heck of a run-in with Murphy's Law.
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SGT John Hemenway
Was it ever... I've accepted it wasn't the grand intro I intended, but that nothing is really ruined... The battalion and I will come around. If anything, it's redoubled my motivation. Thanks for the guidance.
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So, here's my take. One has to consider who's opinion matters most...their peers today, their peers tomorrow, or themselves. For me, it was always the latter two. One great thing about life is that our circles of influence change... a lot. I don't correspond with many people I knew at twenty, and really not that many more that I knew at thirty. With each new group, you get a "new chance to make a first impression"... and hopefully, a better one. Those who really "matter" probably understand that already.
Still, we ourselves have to live with ourselves for always. I know my idiot moves at twenty-three, even if most others have "forgotten" them. However, I can look at my moves at thirty-three, and think, "not half bad"...and can look at myself today and think, "you've come a long way Baby!"
Still, we ourselves have to live with ourselves for always. I know my idiot moves at twenty-three, even if most others have "forgotten" them. However, I can look at my moves at thirty-three, and think, "not half bad"...and can look at myself today and think, "you've come a long way Baby!"
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SGT John Hemenway
On a second-look, the situation is in every way survivable. I just needed to reconcile what I wanted to happen, with what ultimately happened, and realize I can still press on.
I appreciate your guidance and optimism.
I appreciate your guidance and optimism.
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