Posted on Apr 30, 2018
What's the best way to help my wife settle into the military life style?
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82nd ABN
82nd ABN
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 4
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Include her as much as you can and you, yourself, be supportive..I can tell you this, very few of us have a spouse that can handle military life; I was very fortunate..take one day at a time and make the best of the time away from work and you kids should be OK..
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Thank you SSG. I've just been stressing about this because she isn't one to live the military life style.
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SPC (Join to see) - If you know that she is not cut out for the lifestyle and she isn't one that can adapt to the mentality, then I have two questions for you.
1. Why did you marry her in the first place if you knew this was where you were going to be?
2. Why are you still in the Army if you're not willing to drop the marriage?
Look, I know I'm coming across as an ass here, but it really is quite simple, and I had to make a very similar decision a couple years back. But if the spouse cannot adapt to the way of life that surrounds you (and controls 85% of your life), then you have to make the decision to let one go. You have to decide which is more important to you. This world is NOT for everyone, and anyone that tells you otherwise is fooling themselves. If the two (spouse and career) don't mesh well, then one of them will eventually need to get cut loose. For your sake, I hope it doesn't come to that, but it is a nasty reality of this life.
1. Why did you marry her in the first place if you knew this was where you were going to be?
2. Why are you still in the Army if you're not willing to drop the marriage?
Look, I know I'm coming across as an ass here, but it really is quite simple, and I had to make a very similar decision a couple years back. But if the spouse cannot adapt to the way of life that surrounds you (and controls 85% of your life), then you have to make the decision to let one go. You have to decide which is more important to you. This world is NOT for everyone, and anyone that tells you otherwise is fooling themselves. If the two (spouse and career) don't mesh well, then one of them will eventually need to get cut loose. For your sake, I hope it doesn't come to that, but it is a nasty reality of this life.
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As of right now she is trying her best and I just think it will help if I have ways to get her involved with things. She knows my stay in the army won't be perminant.
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She needs to meet a few friends...some folks who are going thru the same thing as she is. Family support group meeting should have a few like minded folks, or maybe a neighbor. I think it helped my wife when she had something to talk to and bounce ideas off of when I was gone.
Best of Luck,
James "Bo" Belcher
Best of Luck,
James "Bo" Belcher
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