Posted on Nov 13, 2017
My TSgt ex-husband cheated on me with a SSgt. Reported the adultery, was told there wasn't enough proof to investigate. What do I do?
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Divorce
UCMJ
JAG
Adultery
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Adultery is difficult to prove without concrete evidence such as pictures or video. An adultery charge is often combined with other misconduct charges since it is hard to prosecute by itself.
As far as financial support goes, I would think the court would have determined that when you divorced. Was no alimony determined?
As far as financial support goes, I would think the court would have determined that when you divorced. Was no alimony determined?
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Tj Parker
I was promised alimony - wasn't on paper. Never received it. He used it to buy mistress an engagement ring.
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SGM Erik Marquez
As stated, Adultery is only used as a charge when its admitted by the SM, or they are caught in the act with proof ..Posted sex tape, third party witness, something like that.
There are three elements to the crime of adultery under the UCMJ:
1st a Soldier must have had sexual intercourse with someone (and that is the proof almost never available)
2nd the Soldier or their sexual partner was married to someone else at the time (That one is easy)
3rd that under the circumstances, the conduct of the Soldier was to the prejudice of good (this is subjective , and its up to the commander with UCMJ authority to make the decision.
it takes ALL THREE elements to get charged with the crime and most cases fail element 1 or 3
There are three elements to the crime of adultery under the UCMJ:
1st a Soldier must have had sexual intercourse with someone (and that is the proof almost never available)
2nd the Soldier or their sexual partner was married to someone else at the time (That one is easy)
3rd that under the circumstances, the conduct of the Soldier was to the prejudice of good (this is subjective , and its up to the commander with UCMJ authority to make the decision.
it takes ALL THREE elements to get charged with the crime and most cases fail element 1 or 3
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You've gotten some good responses about the pertinent rules and typical actions when it comes to adultery and divorce with respect to the military. I won't echo that.
It might not be fair to you, I get that, really, but unless, as far as the divorce is concerned, you can go back to court--consult a lawyer for the most practical advice--the best thing you can do for yourself is to start letting go. Note I said "start"; I understand its a long process.
Even if you can't get a more equitable outcome, you've got to cut your losses; for your sake, not his. You're going to burn yourself up faster than you'll burn your ex out. I certainly do understand wanting to get back at someone, but skip the revenge thing. Don't get it on with his buddies or destroy his stuff or whatever you think might cut him deep. Even if it feels satisfying at the time, in the long run, it won't help you. I've seen more than one person burn themselves up getting back at their ex.
So if you're out of legal options, regardless of whether your ex or the system or whatever seems to have screwed you over (Maybe it has, maybe not, what do I know?), you won't be making anything better for yourself. And in that case the best you could hope for is that you make life more miserable for him than you will for yourself; but the key takeaway is you will still make yourself miserable. Its a trap; emotional and mental.
Hopefully you know all this already, and none of what I wrote will be applicable to you; that you're not going to let this situation hurt you any further as you work through the proper channels for the more equitable solution you seek.
However it plays out, and regardless of the choices you'll make, good luck.
It might not be fair to you, I get that, really, but unless, as far as the divorce is concerned, you can go back to court--consult a lawyer for the most practical advice--the best thing you can do for yourself is to start letting go. Note I said "start"; I understand its a long process.
Even if you can't get a more equitable outcome, you've got to cut your losses; for your sake, not his. You're going to burn yourself up faster than you'll burn your ex out. I certainly do understand wanting to get back at someone, but skip the revenge thing. Don't get it on with his buddies or destroy his stuff or whatever you think might cut him deep. Even if it feels satisfying at the time, in the long run, it won't help you. I've seen more than one person burn themselves up getting back at their ex.
So if you're out of legal options, regardless of whether your ex or the system or whatever seems to have screwed you over (Maybe it has, maybe not, what do I know?), you won't be making anything better for yourself. And in that case the best you could hope for is that you make life more miserable for him than you will for yourself; but the key takeaway is you will still make yourself miserable. Its a trap; emotional and mental.
Hopefully you know all this already, and none of what I wrote will be applicable to you; that you're not going to let this situation hurt you any further as you work through the proper channels for the more equitable solution you seek.
However it plays out, and regardless of the choices you'll make, good luck.
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