Posted on Jul 19, 2014
SGT Team Leader
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I have encountered a few NCOs and Officers above me who are hostile to questions. Some soldiers, who have genuinely asked for guidance on a personal issue have been dismissed, ignored, or otherwise left these offices feeling that what they have to say is unimportant. A lot of these soldiers are young, and have only served for a short time. They immediately feel unimportant. They feel that they have no one to turn to. What is the problem with these NCOs and Officers? What example are they setting for these future leaders? Should this kind of issue be addressed?

We get Suicide Prevention briefing, EO briefings, Sexual Harassment briefings, yet when a soldier with personal issues tries seeking help, a wall goes up as soon as he or she requests it.

I'm a person that believes that if soldiers and their problems annoy you, perhaps you should elect to not re-up and find another occupation. You are lucky to be able to serve in the American military. There are many who would love to serve and cannot.
I'm not privy to upper-echelon training briefs on this sort of thing. Is this sensitivity training? If so, do you think, in your experience, it has had a positive impact on morale? Or should soldiers dealing with these hostile people "suck it up, buttercup"?
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Responses: 22
MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
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Military or civilian world its all the same. If you are a leader and you are responsible for employees its your duty to listen and help resolve issues.
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1LT Platoon Leader
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Couldn't agree more Sir. Unfortunately in both areas it seems like there are leaders that are either not aware that is their responsibilities or they don't care. Either case is a failure in their part.
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MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
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Absolutely 1LT (Join to see). You have my permission to kick Maurelli in the 4th point of contact and straighten him out! :-)
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1LT Platoon Leader
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Lol I appreciate it Sir but I can honestly say that Cpt Maurelli is far from a lousy leader. In the few months that I have spent working for him I have learned a whole lot from him and have seen how he is willing to bend over backwards to help any of his soldiers.
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SGT Team Leader
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I'd work for him, Ma'am. Pretty darn fair leaders up in New York, it seems!
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LTC Operations Officer (Opso)
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I will be the first to tell you that there are some "old school" leaders that are still teaching suck it up buttercup methodology in the military. It has its time and place, but there is a push for the resiliency training to be taught. After going through MRT I find that I recognize that I have used many of these skills already but I never really passed them on like I could have or I had described them differently. We need to harden up as a military in some areas, but we also need to be approachable and assist others in need as we are a big family.

I have an open door policy and many in my company can tell you that this includes calling me anytime day or night if you have a serious issue. Yes utilize your chain of command, but if you have a personal issue that you do not want to share with others or it is something with your chain or something so severe that I must know as a commander right away I am available. I try to make a practice of if a leader tells me that one of their Soldiers need to talk to me that within 5 minutes I can meet with them. Obviously this does not always work, but I try. I also have a great chaplain that has built a great trust in the entire brigade. I utilize him to assist me.

So the first question is do these Soldiers utilize their chain of command or are they jumping it? Are they asking at appropriate times? If they are then they may want to seek someone else to ask for assistance as they may be the wrong NCOs and officers to ask as they are not the best role models. Also, I always recommend having a mentor that is completely out of your chain of command as there is no pressure or influence in helping you with your questions, issues, and plans within the military and outside.
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SGT Team Leader
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I understand, Sir. The soldiers do use their chain of command, up until they reach that individual who refuses to help, or neglects to respond. It's pretty well, at this juncture, the soldier feels option less. I am soliciting feedback for real-world scenarios I have witnessed. I would like to be able to effectively guide these soldiers in the right direction by advising them of their options. A mentor sounds like a good option. We junior soldiers appreciate Commanders who take their open door policy seriously. Thank you for being one of those leaders, as many of us do not have that type of leadership.
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LTC Operations Officer (Opso)
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SGT (Join to see) you also utilize a great tool...Rally Point. I am always available to be asked questions about career or life as are many on this site. Just as you posted a question for all to see and answer you can also ask certain individuals that you feel would offer you the best advise.
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LTC Paul Labrador
LTC Paul Labrador
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Also realize that this may be the 100th time they've heard the same complaint, even when there's nothing they can do about it or they have other bigger issues that they have to worry about. Before you get pissed off or what not, try to see things from their perspective....
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SGT Team Leader
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LTC Paul Labrador, I understand your statement. I can't imagine a scenario where a lower enlisted should be knocking on the Commander's door complaining about something stupid. We may as well throw the whole Chain-of-Command stuff out the window!
I can absolutely see it from a leader's perspective. I watch and listen. Some of the things we can spout off about! (And some of these NCOs have much more patience than even I would.)
In this case, though, I'm talking about genuine concerns that a soldier has. There are issues that are unique to soldiers.
If I asked my Chain where I could get help for a disabled spouse while I'm deployed, for instance, should a leader advise me?
If I said that my boyfriend is hitting me, should a leader guide me in getting help? What if my child were sick and I had no insurance? Should a leader take a moment to let me know about TriCare?
If you had these issues and a leader turned their back, how would you feel, Sir? Perspective is a two-way street.
I mean no disrespect. These questions are examples of actual issues I have been privy to in my career. And none of them were answered by leadership, unfortunately. And the answers came too late for some.
I ask this question about hostile leadership because I believe in the power of perception and the fluidity of it.
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MSG Floyd Williams
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Edited >1 y ago
I believe the effect of the ongoing conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan and deployments have taken a toll on Senior Leaders, and I'm sure they have their fair share of personal problems too. I seen it in 2005 and 2006, soldiers used to skip their chain-of-command to come talk to me. Some just wanted someone to listen to them, and others needed advice and whatever I had to offer they felt a sign of relief. It is every Senior Leader responsibility to do everything within their power to reach out to their subordinate soldiers, this was taught in Leadership Courses for NCO's. A Leader who is committed will find the resources to help a soldier, but unfortunately there are some leaders only looking out for themselves.
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SGT Team Leader
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MSG Floyd Williams...I know. Sometimes, I've been fortunate enough to hear those stories from leadership. It's tough and lower enlisted, and I never forget that leaders have it tough, too.
We are, every one, subject to the human condition. Hardship doesn't recognize rank. And I think that if a soldier denies that, he or she is, at best living a perfect lie, and at worst, in supreme denial.
Thank you for input, MSG. I respect it.
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MSG Floyd Williams
MSG Floyd Williams
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SPC Mulder...I hope your peers get the well deserved help they need, maybe you can persuade your peers to join Rally Point to connect with fellow service members and veterans for guidance just a thought. I hope you can make a difference in the unit for your peers, take care and I wish you well.
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