Posted on Jun 23, 2016
What do you guys do to commemorate soldiers you've lost? It's been 6 years since I lost one of my soldiers, and it's still rough.
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I was in the Maiwand district in 2010-2011. I was in country for less than a week when I had to do my first CID and eventually it became like vantage point. Hearing everything bad from every point of view possible and then living through my own junk. Then a month before I was set to go home - one of my good friends husbands was killed. I definitely struggled then and stuggle now with "keeping the memory alive" and I was good for 2 years and recently had a melt down on "why not me" etc.... However, not bottling it up is huge. I never used to talk about what I felt because I didn't want to seem weak and because I'm a female and all the other stereo types, but I finally went and talked to someone. It isn't for everyone, but knowing good coping strategies that work for you- definitely help on the bad days. I participate in a Memorial Day "troops in the spotlight" in his honor and one of the most important things (for me) is keeping in touch with friends and family. I used to cut everyone off. Bottling it up sucks and hurts more in the long run. Sorry for the long winded, not so much of an answer, but you are not alone. We all cope differently, but you are very normal for the rollar coster of feelings, that much I know. Don't be afraid to live your life- I'm sure that's what any of our fallen would want.
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SGT (Join to see)
My old unit was actually in Maiwand in 2012, I wasn't there, but a lot of my friends ended up getting hurt. We all talk to each other about things, but it usually devolves into just getting drunk and swapping stories. It feels better after I talk to them, but then it kinda just goes back to being the way it was before.
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SGT (Join to see)
SGT (Join to see) - who had the bigger fish kind of stories? Been there- do that haha but I have 2 people from my old unit that if I say to them "listen, I need to vent" they let me and I usually get the tough love "get your head out of your ass- pick yourself up and live" speech. Sometimes that is what I need, sometimes not. The times Its not what I need, I go to the VA and try to make sense of what's going on and why I feel the way I do (again- not for everyone and most times I hate it for feeling vulnerable but it helps me feel normal again). Sometimes you need a neutral source that wasn't there to talk to. Not even saying a counselor, but a good friend even.
I also started living for me. We get in the mindset of being selfless, but I'm learning to be "selfish". Putting you first needs to happen too. I want to do a half marathon in October so I'm putting my want for that before 1.) my sisters mooching off of me, 2.) this one needing a ride to wherever 3.) whatever other life crap happens.
I also started living for me. We get in the mindset of being selfless, but I'm learning to be "selfish". Putting you first needs to happen too. I want to do a half marathon in October so I'm putting my want for that before 1.) my sisters mooching off of me, 2.) this one needing a ride to wherever 3.) whatever other life crap happens.
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I can tell you for me I always do something in honor of the guys I lost. I've started a scholarship as well as a non profit organization called war on the Homefront that assists homeless veterans. Suggest u just do something that reminds you of them in a positive light and the person that he was.
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