Should dependents be mandated to take a class on "you are not your spouse's rank?"

I hated the rank sticker that they were issuing to certain ranks for a while when we had the DoD post registration decals on the POVs. I don't know if it was at all installations, but at a couple Army Posts, the gate guards were required to salute "The Car", even if the service member was not in it. I thought that policy was such BULL, the spouse (and in several cases I saw, the 17 year old driving daddy's car) do not deserve to be saluted just because the sponsoring service member's rank is in the window. I was so glad I was out because I told my ex that I would NEVER salute a dependent. And I joked with the gate guard that I'd rip them a new one if I got saluted if I ever borrowed the car of an officer friend that had that sticker in his window (who also hated that his wife was getting saluted for driving his car).

It's true that dependents can not be mandated to take education regarding this. However, a SM can be mandated, and because they are the sponsor of their dependents they should be held 100% accountable for the behaviours of their dependents, and yes, that means that if an O6's dependent causes problems on a base or enters a restricted area, by all means that O6 needs to be brought up before Admiral's Mast or on a General Courts Martial to address the behaviour of the people they sponsor, and at all levels, E1 to O9 it should mean possible revocation of that dependent's access to the base, even if it causes the SM to be forced to move off of the base or even lose their position at the command.

PO3 Christopher Jonah Nelson - Ehh, I partially agree with you, but that is a little harsh. If their base access is taken away, how are they supposed to access the commissary or exchange if it is located on the installation? There is a definite need to have access, but I also agree that they need to be taught their place.

They can't mandate it to take a class to be a spouse, but they can mandate it to get their military ID. It can even be made available in an online format that can be accessed at their local public library.

I don't like the whole "failure to control dependents" when it applies to a spouse - I'm not a child, the only way for my spouse to "Control" me to to lay his hands on me... you've just endorsed spousal abuse. My second husband had his brigade leadership tell him to make sure he controls me (I forget what was going on that brought it up, it was shortly after redeployment). He looked him square in the face and asked him just how he suggested he control his 30 year old wife? It's not like I could be banned from post or have my ID confiscated because they didn't like what I had to say, I wasn't breaking any laws or post policies. Now, control my 15 year old when he's being a punk... well, husband #2 still couldn't do too much, he had no legal rights to him, but I handled him well enough... when dad got home from deployment, though - all bets were off if he acted up. He PRAYED dad didn't slip out of work to pick him up from the bus stop on those days. Both my teenagers thought "Front and center" were their last names until they were 6 years old for a reason. And my 2 year old is about to develop an identity crisis himself soon.

I guess I was lucky. I was Ship's Ombudsman for my ex-husband's ship. As such, one of my duties was to maintain communications with the spouses club. I socialized with them, attended holiday parties, helped where I could. And not once did I see a problem with "ranked" spouses. We were all the same. I am grateful!!

Having been low-ranking enlisted and gradually shifted in commissioned officer ranks, I personally witnessed some terrible abuses by military spouses, particularly senior officers' wives. Many years ago (about 1963), I was an E-4 and a student X-Ray technician at a naval hospital. I was assigned to the dependents' clinic along with another E-4 technician to record x-ray examinations of women, most of who were ready to deliver new babies. The Technician was logging patients (in the order that they arrived) while I was doing the x-ray exams. In mid morning a boisterous woman entered, charging to the front of the line, and identifying herself as Mrs. Colonel ??????. She demanded to be moved to the head of the line because of who she was. I heard Audrey (the x-ray technician) tell the boisterous woman to "TAKE A SEAT COLONEL as these ladies are in various stages of labor". The woman left in a "huff", after which the hospital Commanding Officer entered the clinic some 30 minutes later. He asked Audrey what happened. She told him, after which he thanked her for doing such marvelous job (and left).