What can I do to change my military career?

I am an 88M in the Reserves. I'm looking for career advice. I feel stuck. I've never been too keen on my MOS or being a Reservist. It keeps me stuck in a small town that despite it small size, is ranked worst in state, first in meth production, highest unemployment, and second in overall crime. In the last three years, I've lived in nine different places, lost five jobs, been attacked 3 times by random people, and had nearly everything I own stolen(including all of my TA-50, and most of my uniforms.) My morale and self esteem are at an all time low.

I originally joined the Reserves as a way to get in the door because they wouldn't take Prior Service for anything but SF and the Reserves. I was considered Prior Service because, when I was 17, I joined the National Guard, for an ignorant reason(money) I was supposed to be a medic. I finished BCT, came back, and acted stupid and cowardly. I was discharged 9 months after enlisting. I have regretted those decisions every day for the last 9 years.

About four years later, I was able to enlist again. (later I discovered I was actually supposed to be considered Glossary Non-Prior Service because I never finished IET, and should of been able to enlist in the Regular Army) I was given(I had little choice past yes or no. The SGT at MEPS was adamant that I had to be within 50 miles of a unit) the MOS of 88M. I went to AIT a few months later.


I came back to my unit. When I got home I found out that my unit was formed a few months before I shipped to AIT. Due to being a new unit, it hasn't had a deployment/activation and won't be able to for quite some time. I find myself to be a poor Reservist. My Soldier and MOS skills have deteriorated. I'm E-4 promotable. Between a lack of confidence in my knowledge and skills, and I know that it's difficult to reclass as an NCO. I have no desire at this time to be promoted. Despite peforming in the top 20% of my AIT class, I never have grown attached to my job. Being a low line score job, it doesn't lead to much advancement or excitement. I would have been happy with a simple 11b contract. Because, growing up I enjoyed learning about the military, history, and the outdoors. And it was the best option for someone living below the poverty line to leave.

I've asked my chain of command for advice, and they help where they can and offer suggestions. The most common one is I need to move away from the area. I've tried volunteering for deployment. But, my MOS isn't exactly sought after. I have tried getting on Active Duty but, it's difficult at this time. I even found recruiters interested in recruiting me. But my CO, without saying no, won't let me submit the paperwork without a non-existant form. I have thought about reclassing and transfering. But, I fear it will be more of the same. And I don't feel as if I can trust the Army to have my best interests at heart. I've even considered just abandoning the Reserves altogether.

I realize that I will come off as whiny, and that I am the one that signed the contract. I should face the music I wrote. I understand that. I am completely at fault for where I am because of my failures and my negligence. I just don't know where to turn anymore.