Posted on Apr 13, 2014
Crying in the military; I find this to be very unprofessional, what are your thoughts?
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<p class="p1">Edited update: My issues is with Soldiers that you are giving counseling statements because they failed doing there job and I am trying to make them better Soldiers and they just break down with tears like there life is over. That is very manipulative and I find it to be very unprofessional.</p>
Posted in these groups: 
Professionalism
Culture
Professionalism Culture
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 104
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I've cried in pain for those I've lost in combat operations and I am not ashamed to share that with you.
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SFC William Swartz Jr
Cried my eyes out at a memorial service on 5 April 2003 for a friend of mine, SFC Wilbur Davis, who died the night we took Saddam International Airport. Never was or will be ashamed of that either.
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SSG Larry Smith
<p>I think crying does the soul good sometimes, I can remember times in Vietnam when this young soldier 18 years old had never been shot at , I remember clearly him crying that young soldier was this old retired U<S< ARMY INFANTRY grunt crying... so much goes along with a person, nerves be tired in the infantry when u move o0ne place set up and have 2 move someplace else it works on your brain... thank you CSM for your story... it takesa men to cry.</p><p><br></p>
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Respectfully, it sounds like you've never been to the funeral of a friend.
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SGT (Join to see)
SFC S,
I understand what you're saying, but your question was open ended and didn't mention any specific scenario.Â
In either case, we are in agreement. Crying because you just got chewed out etc is unacceptable.Â
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SSgt (Join to see)
I'd like to believe that some people who burst into tears during counseling may have other things going on too. That may contribute to the breakdown. And then some....
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Manipulative? Maybe. Or maybe it's a sign that someone has reached the end of their rope and is finally showing signs of stress getting to them. IMHO, it is a poor leadership to casually dismiss something like "crying" as unprofessional and manipulative when it may be actually an ominous sign of a Soldier who may be reaching the "danger zone". Everyone has a breaking point, and not everyone displays the same warning signs. As leaders, it is our job to ensure subordinates carry out their duties, but it is also our job to ensure the well being of our people. Just because someone starts crying during an ass-chewing, doesn't mean it's them trying to manipulate you. Maybe there's more going on. Just something to think about.......
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SGT Karen Matayka
Much more tactful than I would have been sir. Thank you for elegantly expressing what I was thinking.
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