Parents Begin Disguising School Buildings As The Capitol So Congress Will Spend Billions To...

Satire alert!
Parents across the nation have begun disguising their kids' elementary schools as the Capitol Building in D.C. so the government will approve funding to keep them secure.

"Hello, welcome to Clem Elementary—um, I mean the Capitol Building!" said 1st-grade teacher Sally Russett to reporters. "We are so excited for our representatives to spend billions on security just like they did for the other Capitol Building in Washington! Maybe they'll put up a tall fence and metal detectors and hire men with guns—you know, like they did for themselves! That would be great!"