To Ensure No Sex Scandals, CNN Replaces All Anchors With Mike Pence

Satire alert!
As CNN President Jeff Zucker and every other news anchor prepares to step down due to various disgusting allegations of criminal sexual perversion and adultery, the embattled fake news organization has announced that, to keep this from happening in the future, they will be replacing all anchors and leadership positions with Mike Pence. Sources say Pence will also serve as Executive Producer, camera operator, and makeup artist for each show.