Oregon High Schools Stop Teaching Reading So Kids Won't Be Influenced By Thomas Sowell Books

Satire alert!
Oregon high schools have removed requirements to learn reading, writing, math, and basic social skills for kids graduating and moving on into the real world. The reason, according to one Oregon school board member, is to make sure they aren't influenced by far-right misinformation present in Thomas Sowell books, Jordan Peterson books, and other Nazi-adjacent authors. "We have to protect these kids," said Dr. Ethan Bremington (they/them), a superintendent of one Portland high school. "They were learning to read and going off and reading unapproved material. We really hoped they would use their reading skills to read The Communist Manifesto and other approved reading materials. Instead, many of them fell down the far-right rabbit hole, starting with Jordan Peterson and Thomas Sowell and eventually getting to really bad material such as The Federalist Papers and The Constitution. They're safe now." At publishing time, sources had confirmed the reason they are stopping math classes is so that kids won't be good at math and therefore will be more likely to become socialists.