https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2021/06/19/ [login to see] /dad-draws-on-maori-roots-to-raise-3-resilient-sons-step-1-send-them-on-a-milk-ru
When it comes to raising resilient children, Jeff Nelligan knows more than a thing or two. He's raised three sons, dripping with hustle and composure. One of them is a senior at West Point, another graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy and the third from Williams College, where he played lacrosse. "I've raised three bad asses," Nelligan says bluntly (as he does often). "I hate to say it that way, but these kids have the ability to get over adversity, and that's resilience."
Nelligan himself comes from a long-line of resilient women. "My great-grandmother is Maori," he says. "She left New Zealand when she was 14 [by herself]. After she got on her two feet, he says, she ran a restaurant in Los Angeles. "Her daughter — my grandmother — was born almost 100 percent deaf. She was confident, and she made it through adversity. That's our family's storyline. We don't take things too hard. We let things roll off the back, so to speak," says Nelligan, who writes about Maori affairs and has a law degree from Georgetown University.