Posted on Apr 5, 2021
Jesus Criticized For Leaving His Face Covering Behind In The Tomb
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And a follow on to "leaving without permission" (Satire)
JERUSALEM—The risen Jesus is being roundly criticized in the media after it was discovered he left the tomb without his face covering.
"Yeah we know he's immune to death and all that, but he could at least set an example by responsibly wearing his protective face covering," said King Herod in an op-ed published in the Jerusalem Gazette. "Jesus claims to be pro-life, but his actions would suggest otherwise."
According to Roman authorities, Jesus's face covering and burial linens were found neatly folded in an empty tomb three days after his crucifixion. Pontius Pilate has sent platoons of soldiers to scour the countryside for the unmasked risen Savior.
"We're just looking out for everyone's safety," said Pilate. "Tombs are usually full of diseases and we can't risk having any of that dangerous stuff like leprosy or salvation spread throughout the populace."
King Herod has asked for anyone with information on the whereabouts of Jesus to turn him in so that he may bring him before the local Health & Safety Commission.
JERUSALEM—The risen Jesus is being roundly criticized in the media after it was discovered he left the tomb without his face covering.
"Yeah we know he's immune to death and all that, but he could at least set an example by responsibly wearing his protective face covering," said King Herod in an op-ed published in the Jerusalem Gazette. "Jesus claims to be pro-life, but his actions would suggest otherwise."
According to Roman authorities, Jesus's face covering and burial linens were found neatly folded in an empty tomb three days after his crucifixion. Pontius Pilate has sent platoons of soldiers to scour the countryside for the unmasked risen Savior.
"We're just looking out for everyone's safety," said Pilate. "Tombs are usually full of diseases and we can't risk having any of that dangerous stuff like leprosy or salvation spread throughout the populace."
King Herod has asked for anyone with information on the whereabouts of Jesus to turn him in so that he may bring him before the local Health & Safety Commission.
Jesus Criticized For Leaving His Face Covering Behind In The Tomb
Posted from babylonbee.comPosted in these groups: 
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Satire
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
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SFC Melvin Brandenburg Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen
I have now finished my 14 day quarantine and I am now out of the Canadian health jail. No more health Canada get stop all calls asking me entrapment questions. No more unmarked government employees coming by my house to make sure I am actually there. No more need to take 3 coronavirus tests on the way back to Canada. I had one before I boarded a plane in Seattle, A second coronavirus test given in Vancouver at a 3rd test taken on the 10th day of This BS Medical quarantine. I actually defied the quarantine by turning off my phone and leaving it home to go shopping for food but I did wear my mask. Had I been caught, it would be a $1000 A-day fine.
I have now finished my 14 day quarantine and I am now out of the Canadian health jail. No more health Canada get stop all calls asking me entrapment questions. No more unmarked government employees coming by my house to make sure I am actually there. No more need to take 3 coronavirus tests on the way back to Canada. I had one before I boarded a plane in Seattle, A second coronavirus test given in Vancouver at a 3rd test taken on the 10th day of This BS Medical quarantine. I actually defied the quarantine by turning off my phone and leaving it home to go shopping for food but I did wear my mask. Had I been caught, it would be a $1000 A-day fine.
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