Webcam video from April 23, 2013 12:45 AM

Do you like my songs 2013? I just entered the VA. I had lost now 3 relationships with ladies Starting in the Navy at 22. My First Fiancé left me right after I failed a Navy Army Transfer 1998 off of. FFG. Guided Missile Frigate I was well completely fucked up....and thought the Army was a better safer better funded place to transfer my enlistment. I failed the medical process at MEPS. I lost my ladiy who could not deal with my complete loss of ability to connect and write love poems and in fact I was just completely lost an Mia. The things on the ship would really explain my complete change. but I had no idea how to talk to her about this. We were lovers since 19 and she was 18. Her dad was a veteran of war Vietnam. yet I had no real idea what Vietnam was about. But I bent on a knee to ask him to marry his daughter. He agreed. I was trying to be an officer in the Navy in this reserve program I was recruited. But in reality I was also assigned to. a active duty guided missile frigate at 18. I was put in a position to basically accomplish all the credentials and abilities of a watch stander and deployed asset of a ship, in Quals, as. awakend warrior, punished at sea monthly with real active duty guys that were dong this daily and then sea sick typing to use my $4000 stipend in 1990s for. s reserve enlisted to attend college, not for 1 month at $4000 as is now the GI Bill but, $4000 for a full 4 year tuition books and courses. So basically I would receive 400 dollar checks every month to attend college and pay rent. On tope of that my compensation for the ship was averaging 4000 a year for duty paid daily on the ship at sea...and partial deployments that they would fly me to and send me home.....

I lost well it all ......college I could not concentrate as early as 1 year in...dropped out right around the failed navy army transfer...

I was sick and getting my ass kicked by more fully experience personnel on the ship. yet I did not have their benefits or protections. I could not consieer my self a veteran for veteran purposes unless I completed 2 years back to back active duty service. SO basically a Navy Flute player in the active duty navy band, never deployed at sea on an active duty combat ship, would get more respect and care in service and at the Va, the me getting my ass sick and threatened sea sick at sea monthly trying to qualify as a combat sailor, woh could not play the flute

my fiancé left me with blue balls during seriously mentally sad..like I was in the navy and sick and lost my fiancé and I had 4 years to go...to finish the enlistment...or in my mind end up in brig....

so I don't know how I forgot about her...but the navy was way more punishing an continuous..and I am glad she found an ROTC guy in college who was not yet enlisted or commissioned and they hd beautiful kids...

I ended up in suicedical hospitals and my mom died as she was the suriviror of not only a wounded Vietnam Combat Infantry Solider Husband who could ldnot raise his kids with her as he was tormented...then her first born son me joined the Navy to make up for him join the governed WE THE PEOPLE for pennies on the dollar....and she watch me come back home from the ship in shock..standing mid watch in beyond mind chilling weather ocean attacking your mind body and soul to defend America from even one adversary...or the hundreds of other demands and qualifications of that assignment that would kill Any college educaiotn ability to concentrate..


See ROTC has real life Miiltlaty Officers watching monitoring and counseling potential officers before they even sign a contract for the money the government paid fo there educioann. Somewher in there junior or senior year they sign a document they are actually obliged in a federal contract.

In the reserve national guard enliemnt. you can be 18 have no father or mother or family counsel, and listen to a recruiter who says yes GO TO COLLEGE...Paid by the government...and commission as an officer by 22. First you need to go to bootmcap at 18 and sign this enlistment that is a 8 year federal obligation.

When you get to bootcamp they say if you jump the fence or go awol in any any way we will find you....and you will end up with a life or pain an suffering.....as in dishonorable discharge...and no other federal or big industry will hire you ever again;...and you are 18 Never thinking this was a necessary threat...but you are soon assigned to a guided missile frigate........and every moth for years put in a position that death was such a reality and pain and suffering was such a reality that all your relationships were to falter....

and I love the United States!!!!!

Can I have a break????