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Throughout generations adults generally dismiss the opinions and thoughts of teens. Do you think adults are afraid of teenagers' opinions?
Why are we so afraid of teenagers' opinions?
Posted from cnn.comPosted in these groups: 
Education
World Affairs
Education World Affairs
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 6
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I remember hearing about the particular incident pictured (on Jimmy Kimmel, of all places). In that instance, it wasn't fear... he gave a speech that deliberately spoke out against a dictatorial academic elitist school. They didn't like what he was saying, so they cut him off. It's fairly common, I hear, in the annals of academia. Speak out against the established doctrine, and you will be chastised.
However, this is also a typical human condition. It doesn't matter the age, really. The problem is the difference of ideas. I've had full blown arguments with people over conversations where we were saying the exact same thing, just in different ways. Because the other person misunderstood my point, they got defensive of their own interpretation and bucked against mine. Even pointing out that I was completely agreeing with them if they'd just attempt to listen didn't work. People get stuck on their own words and ideas, and anything else is immediately wrong. And I'll admit... I'm guilty of it occasionally, as well.
The problem is that the art of listening is just about lost. Our attention span works on about 20 seconds (or 5 lines if talking about text). Anything beyond that, and we start to skip through, going for just the gist. If there are gaps in understanding, we fill in our blanks rather than clarifying the other speaker. As is the case pictured, had they given about 5 more seconds to speak, they would have found a much different point being drawn. Instead, they closed a brilliant mind down all because they didn't like what he was saying.
We need to do better.
However, this is also a typical human condition. It doesn't matter the age, really. The problem is the difference of ideas. I've had full blown arguments with people over conversations where we were saying the exact same thing, just in different ways. Because the other person misunderstood my point, they got defensive of their own interpretation and bucked against mine. Even pointing out that I was completely agreeing with them if they'd just attempt to listen didn't work. People get stuck on their own words and ideas, and anything else is immediately wrong. And I'll admit... I'm guilty of it occasionally, as well.
The problem is that the art of listening is just about lost. Our attention span works on about 20 seconds (or 5 lines if talking about text). Anything beyond that, and we start to skip through, going for just the gist. If there are gaps in understanding, we fill in our blanks rather than clarifying the other speaker. As is the case pictured, had they given about 5 more seconds to speak, they would have found a much different point being drawn. Instead, they closed a brilliant mind down all because they didn't like what he was saying.
We need to do better.
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Col Joseph Lenertz
I agree, it's not fear in most instances. Maybe just a click-bait title, which is the norm now. Dismissal, yes, but older folks who have heard the idea before and found it failed contact with reality shouldn't be forced to listen to the same bad idea again. Not the case in the article's example, but dismissal is sometimes an appropriate response.
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COL Vincent Stoneking
Col Joseph Lenertz - Indeed. I've reached the point now where I can predict the entire arc of many discussions, especially the political ones. Often down to almost the exact wording of responses. Cuts way down on my interest in having THAT EXACT SAME discussion yet again.
Also increases my appreciation of thoughtful conversational partners, as well as good writers - which most are not.
Also increases my appreciation of thoughtful conversational partners, as well as good writers - which most are not.
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Life is the sum total of all of your experiences. Teenagers have almost no real life experience. They have lived under the roof provided by someone else, eaten food earned by someone else and almost all they have was given to them. I have three kids, the youngest is 18 now. They are pretty well rounded having been raised by a Marine. Even with that, they had/have bizarre ideas and opinions about the world and how things should work based upon no exposure to a single consequence of a real world decision.
Teenagers need to be educated and molded and taught far more than they need to be listened to. Teenagers learn by watching you make decisions and based upon how you approach the world. That doesn't mean that as teenagers they will emulate you only that they will have observed it. I can tell you my 25 year old son tells my 18 year old how right Dad is all the time. It is music to my ears.
Teenagers need to be educated and molded and taught far more than they need to be listened to. Teenagers learn by watching you make decisions and based upon how you approach the world. That doesn't mean that as teenagers they will emulate you only that they will have observed it. I can tell you my 25 year old son tells my 18 year old how right Dad is all the time. It is music to my ears.
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SFC Kelly Fuerhoff
That's not entirely true. Some teenagers have more life experiences than someone twice their age. Some teens and children experience more than adults ever will. Think about the kids who grow up in homes with domestic violence, drug use. Those who grow up in areas with lots of crime, violence. Kids who go through medical issues that affect them from birth through their lives. Kids who are homeless.
You'd be surprised how many teens actually are aware of what goes on in the world and keep up on current events. I think people see someone's age and think "oh he's 14 what the hell does he know?" Maybe more than some adults. Maybe not.
Like I said my daughter medically has experienced more in her life than I ever have in 35 years and she will continue to have medical issues. She will have a different life experience than most kids and teenagers will her age as she gets older.
Also I was very well aware of the world and my surroundings as a teenager. I kept up on current events and I read the newspaper from the time I learned to read until present. I would have conversations with my dad about politics, current events, etc. He never once dismissed me or my brothers ideas because we were teenagers. If we didn't know or understand something he taught us to research it. Go find the answer. Educate ourselves. Also my brothers and I had to grow up fast when I was a kid because of my mom not being there and running around while she had an affair, she was emotionally abusive and absent. I'm the only girl in my family. I was raised by my dad and my brothers which I think is better for me in the long run. I was doing my own laundry at 10. One older brother learned to cook since our mom stopped doing it and our dad was horrible at it. Then he left and one younger brother did it. (They are phenomenal cooks by the way). So I have had a different perspective on the world as I grew up than most other kids my age.
But parents aren't always right. There is not one single parent who is perfect or who has the answer to everything. Do we generally have more life experience? Yes but not overall and every situation is different. I know my dad is a very smart man but he doesn't know everything and he fully admits it. If I prove to him he's wrong about something he embraces that and learns. If he can show me I'm wrong I embrace it. No one is right all the time though. No one has all the answers.
You'd be surprised how many teens actually are aware of what goes on in the world and keep up on current events. I think people see someone's age and think "oh he's 14 what the hell does he know?" Maybe more than some adults. Maybe not.
Like I said my daughter medically has experienced more in her life than I ever have in 35 years and she will continue to have medical issues. She will have a different life experience than most kids and teenagers will her age as she gets older.
Also I was very well aware of the world and my surroundings as a teenager. I kept up on current events and I read the newspaper from the time I learned to read until present. I would have conversations with my dad about politics, current events, etc. He never once dismissed me or my brothers ideas because we were teenagers. If we didn't know or understand something he taught us to research it. Go find the answer. Educate ourselves. Also my brothers and I had to grow up fast when I was a kid because of my mom not being there and running around while she had an affair, she was emotionally abusive and absent. I'm the only girl in my family. I was raised by my dad and my brothers which I think is better for me in the long run. I was doing my own laundry at 10. One older brother learned to cook since our mom stopped doing it and our dad was horrible at it. Then he left and one younger brother did it. (They are phenomenal cooks by the way). So I have had a different perspective on the world as I grew up than most other kids my age.
But parents aren't always right. There is not one single parent who is perfect or who has the answer to everything. Do we generally have more life experience? Yes but not overall and every situation is different. I know my dad is a very smart man but he doesn't know everything and he fully admits it. If I prove to him he's wrong about something he embraces that and learns. If he can show me I'm wrong I embrace it. No one is right all the time though. No one has all the answers.
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Cpl Jeff N.
SFC Kelly Fuerhoff - You go ahead and take life advice from 18 year olds. I will opt for a little more experience. Most teenagers and children, even if they go through tough times, do not have the perspective to glean the right lessons and wisdom from events. They simply lack the perspective at that age. Those experiences they go through in their youth, as they age, will become more meaningful as they will have better life perspective.
I didn't suggest anyone was right all of the time only that life provides experience youth simply has not had or cannot properly understand or put into context.
When I want or need advice I go to experienced people with solid perspective. Having been abused or mistreated as a child or having had a tough upbringing does not make one a source of wisdom and knowledge. That is why so many abused kids have such a hard time adjusting.
I didn't suggest anyone was right all of the time only that life provides experience youth simply has not had or cannot properly understand or put into context.
When I want or need advice I go to experienced people with solid perspective. Having been abused or mistreated as a child or having had a tough upbringing does not make one a source of wisdom and knowledge. That is why so many abused kids have such a hard time adjusting.
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SFC Kelly Fuerhoff
Cpl Jeff N. - I never said take life advice. I said it depends on the person. There might be an 18 year old who has experienced far more than I have in life. I might just take some advice from them depending on what it is.
You don't think they have perspective to learn the right lessons from events that they lived through? Hmm.
I said those people who go through those things have a different perspective on life. I'm not afraid of teenagers having opinions. I will listen to my daughter when she has views as she gets older and if they're way out there I'll direct her where to go. But I'm not going to sit there and just dismiss any of her views on something.
To each his or her own.
You don't think they have perspective to learn the right lessons from events that they lived through? Hmm.
I said those people who go through those things have a different perspective on life. I'm not afraid of teenagers having opinions. I will listen to my daughter when she has views as she gets older and if they're way out there I'll direct her where to go. But I'm not going to sit there and just dismiss any of her views on something.
To each his or her own.
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Col Joseph Lenertz
Cpl Jeff N. - Agree with you. There's a reason the Founders wrote the age requirements for Congress and the Presidency that haven’t changed since the Constitution was written in 1787 and went into effect in 1789. Experience.
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That is not fear, it is amazement when some wheat shows up in the chaff. As an example, growing up here were some of my "brilliant" ideas:
1)Static electricity on the radio was the Martians trying to communicate with Earth in binary code.
2)Rappelling in Sabino Canyon with cheap natural fiber rope from ACE Hardware is a good idea
3a)I really can drive Dad's tractor without tipping it over
3b)If I put a rope on those two steer and tie them to the tractor, they can probably pull it back upright, before Dad gets home, what could possibly go wrong?
4)Spaghetti-O's and Baby Ruths constitute a complete and healthy diet
5a)After drinking a twelve pack in two hours, I can break a horse that I couldn't break when I was sober
5b)Dad won't be able to smell the beer on my breath when he takes me to the ER after my attempt to break a horse drunk
5c)Telling Dad I don't have to listen to him because I can probably whoop his ass when I am still drunk and have my right arm in a cast on my arm will end well.
6) When all the beer is gone, Peppermint extract isn't that much different than peppermint Schnapp's
7)The neighbors and police will not notice a kegger with over 200 minors and a crappy rock n roll garage band in attendance, what could possibly go wrong?
8a)Peppering my buddies with indirect fire from a shot gun while dove hunting is not stupid
8b)Dad can accept the logic of my argument about shotgun safety, because no one was seriously injured. After all nobody had to go to the ER and we didn't use all the band-aids.
9a)Teenage boys can put on the boxing gloves and have a friendly boxing match before going out on Friday night, nobody will get pissed, take off the gloves an pass out black eyes and fat lips.
9b)Dad will be sympathetic that most of us have black eyes and fat lips on a Friday night. I just know he won't laugh his ass off
10a)You can parachute out of the hayloft door holding onto bed sheets
10b)Dad is not getting tired of driving me to the ER
11a)Firecrackers don't hurt that bad if you hold onto them when they go off.
11b)Dad couldn't possibly get mad again just because he had to drive me to the ER again
12a)Throwing fresh horse turds at Becky Hudgepeth will make her want to make out with me.
12b)Dad will not really give me a horse turd shampoo rub and not let me wash it off until dinner, but I better throw one more horse turd at Becky, just to make sure.
1)Static electricity on the radio was the Martians trying to communicate with Earth in binary code.
2)Rappelling in Sabino Canyon with cheap natural fiber rope from ACE Hardware is a good idea
3a)I really can drive Dad's tractor without tipping it over
3b)If I put a rope on those two steer and tie them to the tractor, they can probably pull it back upright, before Dad gets home, what could possibly go wrong?
4)Spaghetti-O's and Baby Ruths constitute a complete and healthy diet
5a)After drinking a twelve pack in two hours, I can break a horse that I couldn't break when I was sober
5b)Dad won't be able to smell the beer on my breath when he takes me to the ER after my attempt to break a horse drunk
5c)Telling Dad I don't have to listen to him because I can probably whoop his ass when I am still drunk and have my right arm in a cast on my arm will end well.
6) When all the beer is gone, Peppermint extract isn't that much different than peppermint Schnapp's
7)The neighbors and police will not notice a kegger with over 200 minors and a crappy rock n roll garage band in attendance, what could possibly go wrong?
8a)Peppering my buddies with indirect fire from a shot gun while dove hunting is not stupid
8b)Dad can accept the logic of my argument about shotgun safety, because no one was seriously injured. After all nobody had to go to the ER and we didn't use all the band-aids.
9a)Teenage boys can put on the boxing gloves and have a friendly boxing match before going out on Friday night, nobody will get pissed, take off the gloves an pass out black eyes and fat lips.
9b)Dad will be sympathetic that most of us have black eyes and fat lips on a Friday night. I just know he won't laugh his ass off
10a)You can parachute out of the hayloft door holding onto bed sheets
10b)Dad is not getting tired of driving me to the ER
11a)Firecrackers don't hurt that bad if you hold onto them when they go off.
11b)Dad couldn't possibly get mad again just because he had to drive me to the ER again
12a)Throwing fresh horse turds at Becky Hudgepeth will make her want to make out with me.
12b)Dad will not really give me a horse turd shampoo rub and not let me wash it off until dinner, but I better throw one more horse turd at Becky, just to make sure.
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