Posted on Jan 12, 2018
What It Takes To Have A Successful Life In Or Out Of The Military
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On many a deployment, I remember so many times hearing the worst about a new assignment that wasn't true. Let me recommend having a great attitude about each deployment. Everywhere you go has its ups and downs. If all you hear is the downs, you have a bad attitude about your new duty station before you even get there.
I have not been anywhere that I did not enjoy. Opportunities come to those who get out and meet the people of your community. Our military family is very important but when we segregate ourselves from the community we create barriers. People in the community hear about the military when there is a brawl at the bar or the drunk driver that was in an accident downtown. Get out and show the community the military person who volunteers at the Red Cross, helps the Salvation Army, or who helps on weekends with Habitat for Humanity. Do not keep yourself bottled up.
As a young soldier, I very seldom went downtown except in the evenings to go to the bar. We need to learn how to connect with others outside of our military family. When I started going to church, I started doing more in the community. You do not have to join a church to get involved with the community. That is what I did, and it is one of the greatest steps that helped me see beyond the military personnel I associated with.
Your attitude before you show up to your new duty station is very important. It will affect the outcome you have from that new deployment. When you show up, come excited about the new opportunities you will find in this place. That attitude will actually create even more opportunity for you.
1. When you have a winner's attitude, others want to come alongside you. A good attitude draws others. If you find it hard to make new friends, check your attitude.
2. Your attitude will encourage you as well as those around you will also be encouraged. You will find that having a good attitude is contagious. A bad attitude is contagious too but eventually people want to get away from the person with a bad attitude, and you will draw more people to you with a good attitude.
3. A good attitude takes work and the more you work it the easier it gets. Some ways to make it easier are to be a grateful person, always look for the positive in every situation and let others know what that is. A good attitude will serve you in and out of the military.
4. Make the decision to choose and display a good attitude daily.
I have not been anywhere that I did not enjoy. Opportunities come to those who get out and meet the people of your community. Our military family is very important but when we segregate ourselves from the community we create barriers. People in the community hear about the military when there is a brawl at the bar or the drunk driver that was in an accident downtown. Get out and show the community the military person who volunteers at the Red Cross, helps the Salvation Army, or who helps on weekends with Habitat for Humanity. Do not keep yourself bottled up.
As a young soldier, I very seldom went downtown except in the evenings to go to the bar. We need to learn how to connect with others outside of our military family. When I started going to church, I started doing more in the community. You do not have to join a church to get involved with the community. That is what I did, and it is one of the greatest steps that helped me see beyond the military personnel I associated with.
Your attitude before you show up to your new duty station is very important. It will affect the outcome you have from that new deployment. When you show up, come excited about the new opportunities you will find in this place. That attitude will actually create even more opportunity for you.
1. When you have a winner's attitude, others want to come alongside you. A good attitude draws others. If you find it hard to make new friends, check your attitude.
2. Your attitude will encourage you as well as those around you will also be encouraged. You will find that having a good attitude is contagious. A bad attitude is contagious too but eventually people want to get away from the person with a bad attitude, and you will draw more people to you with a good attitude.
3. A good attitude takes work and the more you work it the easier it gets. Some ways to make it easier are to be a grateful person, always look for the positive in every situation and let others know what that is. A good attitude will serve you in and out of the military.
4. Make the decision to choose and display a good attitude daily.
Posted 7 y ago
Responses: 12
Great advice and insight. Military member tend to stick together on and off duty. Learning how to make me friends and network outside the military means making an effort to connect. Volunteer work at animal shelters and meet up groups in the community offer opportunities to hike, bike, and do many other things that build your profile as a person! Grow!
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Having got out of the military the best advice I can give is this. You are not done, you can't put down the pack, life in general does not owe you a dime, you gotta go out there and get it yourself. Simple, you had to claw your way to the top while you were in, you gotta claw just as hard when youre out. You have an advantage though because many folks aren't as saavy as you, that's your skill and experience over them. You had purpose, you had drive and motivation, those are the keys now, find purpose, motivation, drive and get on that train. You cannot rely on your past to set you up for the future, you cannot let these so called veterans organizations define who you will be either. So many people do and they end up on the bottom of the woodpile, pissed off and resent everything. You need help, get help, don't wait for the VA, talk to service officers in the local organizations. Talk to other vets, ones that are successful not the ones in the bottom rung with you. The absolute worst thing happening to the veteran community right now and I mean this, is the stigma that is being promoted within the media, the main stream school of thought and even in the VA, that we are victims, that we all have debilitating life skills, that we are mental, that we need to be filled up full of psych pills to function. That thinking literally kills vets. These people are here to help you if you need it but don't rely or depend on them, they will drag you down into a deep dark hole. I knew a vet from a local VFW, turns out he was a straight up asshole, justified his actions and attitude as being an "unstable veteran" citing PTSD and other reasons. Very capable otherwise but he got caught up in the stigma and was essentially waiting out a payout for his VA claims. When you get like that, you are often told by sea lawyers to act out, display no filter, that these things will help your cause, etc. Well turns out that not only did it not help, but this guy became a drege to society trying to fill that shoe, first rate asshole lost his family and friends, still got nowhere in the VA. I say that's what the current system is wanting from us, they want us to be perpetual victims and utterly dependent on it so that we aren't a threat because we do know something about defending our country, and we can smell a rat a mile away. The last thing this system needs is a success story staring them in the face and putting them to task. So Im telling ya the best thing you can do getting out, take what you learned and know and make it work for you, use the elements of the system to help you along, but you remain self sufficient. Talk to successful vets and get advice from them. DO NOT GET CAUGHT IN THE STIGMA OF VICTIMIZATION THE MAINSTREAM WANTS TO USE YOU TO PROMOTE.
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