SFC Private RallyPoint Member 203985 <div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>You have a spouse who turns in a video of her husband (one of your junior officers) having sex with a civilian. She just found the video saved on his phone and before speaking to anyone just bought the phone up to staff duty which has now made it on your desk. <br />You look at the video, you determine it is one of your leaders in the video. You start the proper paperwork and a couple of days later the packet it at legal getting looked over, checked out, crossing the Ts and dotting the Is.<br />A few days before you get the packet back the spouse come to see you on open door policy. She sits in your office and explains that she reacted off of emotion and still loves her husband. They are currently set up to attend marriage counseling and that she wants her marriage to work. She regrets turning in the phone with the video on it and doesnt want to ruin her husbands career or put the family in a financial bind. <br /><br />What actions would you take? 2014-08-14T15:28:24-04:00 SFC Private RallyPoint Member 203985

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>You have a spouse who turns in a video of her husband (one of your junior officers) having sex with a civilian. She just found the video saved on his phone and before speaking to anyone just bought the phone up to staff duty which has now made it on your desk. <br />You look at the video, you determine it is one of your leaders in the video. You start the proper paperwork and a couple of days later the packet it at legal getting looked over, checked out, crossing the Ts and dotting the Is.<br />A few days before you get the packet back the spouse come to see you on open door policy. She sits in your office and explains that she reacted off of emotion and still loves her husband. They are currently set up to attend marriage counseling and that she wants her marriage to work. She regrets turning in the phone with the video on it and doesnt want to ruin her husbands career or put the family in a financial bind. <br /><br />What actions would you take?

2014-08-14T15:28:24-04:00 2014-08-14T15:28:24-04:00 SSgt Private RallyPoint Member 204109

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I honestly hope i never have to be in this situation because if you do nothing it will catch up to you when it all comes out, if you turn it in they will all hate you.

2014-08-14T17:16:47-04:00 2014-08-14T17:16:47-04:00 MAJ Jim Woods 204181

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Once it is at JAG, you won&#39;t be able to stop it but everything that she told you on visit 2 can be used during the sentencing phase to show movement to corrective counseling and actions. As the Commander, you are allowed to speak regarding his history with you both before and after the incident. <br /><br />The JAG process should have been explained to her on the first visit.

2014-08-14T18:17:10-04:00 2014-08-14T18:17:10-04:00 CPT Private RallyPoint Member 204338

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Once official action has begun and other authorities are notified such as JAG, you can&#39;t stop that ball from rolling. BLUF, that officer committed a UCMJ punishable offense and should face the wrath of the military justice system in order to promote good order and discipline. However, commanders have great authority and leeway to say yay or nay. At the end of the day he/she can decide to go full on or just make a big slap to the wrist (i.e. OER evaluation, OMPF MFR, negative counselings) essentially ending that officers career early. As long as good order and discipline is not adversely affected and that officer is held to the standard that he/she should be conducting themselves in the proper manner.

2014-08-14T20:37:45-04:00 2014-08-14T20:37:45-04:00 LTC Private RallyPoint Member 204341

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>My response would depend on whether the video had a date/time stamp. If you cant determine when the video was made, it may be difficult to make a definitive allegation.<br /><br />It would be indeed difficult to get the genie back in the bottle after an investigation began.

2014-08-14T20:39:40-04:00 2014-08-14T20:39:40-04:00 1LT Private RallyPoint Member 204622

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Regrettably, the missile has left the silo with no way to recall or self destruct.<br /><br />The spouse let the cat out of the bag and no amount if remorse gets it back.<br /><br />Maybe something can be done about the marriage but the career is ending.

2014-08-15T00:48:35-04:00 2014-08-15T00:48:35-04:00 SSG Kevin McCulley 205368

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Officers get UCMJed?

2014-08-15T17:19:35-04:00 2014-08-15T17:19:35-04:00 MAJ Private RallyPoint Member 205483

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Give him the quick boot...threaten with court martial, and offer Chapter 10 (in lieu of CM). Fast way out... That gets us to desired end state numbers faster and keeps someone in that has not screwed up.

2014-08-15T19:27:44-04:00 2014-08-15T19:27:44-04:00 Sgt S.P. Woodke 209344

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>get her side and intentions documented and leave well enough alone...no reason to proceed.

2014-08-19T13:53:35-04:00 2014-08-19T13:53:35-04:00 SGT Craig Northacker 210287

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Good question. To me, a conference between all parties, including the chaplain, would be a good start. (not necessarily all at the same time). Assess the qualities of the offending SM, and determine how big a part this needs to be on your plate as opposed to the emotional aspects of the offending SM and his spouse. Is there a psych evaluation that is available on the man and his spouse? or...<br /><br />Send him on a special training mission with some select NCO's to help him reconsider the impact of his choices. <br /><br />The Navy used to serve saltpeter with every meal.

2014-08-20T12:06:36-04:00 2014-08-20T12:06:36-04:00 SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member 212664

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>That would a difficult decision. But I have to take the blunt yet soft direction. I would have to inform the spouse that understand that she wants her marriage to work, that she loves her husband. But she should have thought about her decision before she ran to his chain of command. This is the military, not Burger King. You don&#39;t get it your way. Her husband knew what he was doing. He obviously did not care if she found out. Now both the spouse and the husband can share their misery together. It might be good for them. Civilians a lot of times have no clue what or how their actions affect the service member. Her decision to get him in trouble, his decision to cheat on his wife. This experience either will make their marriage stronger through the pain and misery. Or it might show them that they are better off apart. Only time will tell.

2014-08-22T01:11:00-04:00 2014-08-22T01:11:00-04:00 MSG Private RallyPoint Member 771101

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I do believe that once I had seen the video I would have to go through with the process, what ever the out come.

2015-06-25T19:08:13-04:00 2015-06-25T19:08:13-04:00 MSgt Curtis Ellis 1110143

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>He COULD have asked her what she wanted to do in the beginning, and had her seek legal counsel so she knew what the ramifications are if proceeded... But what he did is correct, and unfortunately, the ball is in motion... In my opinion, she is making a last ditch effort because she suddenly became aware of what she really stands to lose... Again, just an opinion...

2015-11-15T20:14:05-05:00 2015-11-15T20:14:05-05:00 LCpl Mark Lefler 1110181

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>being it was never something I did, is adultery against the UCMJ?

2015-11-15T20:57:47-05:00 2015-11-15T20:57:47-05:00 CAPT Tom Bersson 1110221

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Too late. the wheels are in motion.

2015-11-15T21:22:40-05:00 2015-11-15T21:22:40-05:00 CMSgt James Nolan 1110401

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I find myself scratching my head. He had to know that there was a reasonable certainty that she would find this on the phone.<br />Reminds me of the old adage: "The probability of someone watching is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions".<br />There is a price to pay for infidelity. He is going to pay for that. She wanted revenge, and got it. Now she wants to stay together, honorable, probably a mistake, but honorable. Definitely the high road. That is something that I could never forgive my spouse, but everyone is different in what they will forgive, and I get that.<br />Once that video was turned over, the Commander, in my opinion should act. First act would be to consult with JA. Then, the chips fall where they fall. I do not see the ability to simply "forget" that the video was presented...

2015-11-15T23:28:52-05:00 2015-11-15T23:28:52-05:00 SSG Audwin Scott 1113458

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>There are no actions you can take, once paper work is submitted it's gone, out of your hands now.

2015-11-17T09:12:52-05:00 2015-11-17T09:12:52-05:00 MAJ Ken Landgren 1114164

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I would sleep on it and yell at them both, then I will chapter him.

2015-11-17T13:15:17-05:00 2015-11-17T13:15:17-05:00 SGT Bryon Sergent 1114241

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I would still Give the a counseling statement on the Article 134 Adultery. Counsel the OFFICER on why this is a bad for the Military and good order. Have them see the Chaplin (if they are of faith) to see what or if the church could help. Have them seek counseling. ME personally, would check in on the situation, If I couldn't mentor at least find someone in the BN that would be a good mentor for the young troop and have them stick like glue!

2015-11-17T13:42:01-05:00 2015-11-17T13:42:01-05:00 SPC David S. 1114271

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Should of, could of , would of... The legal proceedings have begun.

2015-11-17T13:52:34-05:00 2015-11-17T13:52:34-05:00 SPC Jared Bever 1114299

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>The UCMJ was still violated you can still help with setting up assistance from the various famly assistance groups but you can not just let go of the crime that was committed showing any kind of favoritism will cause disenchantment among the rest of the unit members.

2015-11-17T14:02:39-05:00 2015-11-17T14:02:39-05:00 SPC Brian Bay 1118364

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>You took the action and reported what was brought before you. Your responsibility ends there. In reality, a spouse brought a video on a phone of her husband having sex with someone other than her and if that's all that you reported then those are the facts. (I pray to God that you did not offer an opinion in your report that you represented as fact)<br /><br />With any command inquiry/investigation, it's up to whoever prosecutes to determine WHEN said sex act took place (was it prior to the marriage?). Other factors include: what was the nature of the marriage; was it an "open relationship" and the spouse was the one filming the beautiful bean footage?<br /><br />My ex-wife played the DV card a number of times in a "Revolving door" manner. After getting tired of it, I finally asked to go the MP's voluntarily with the command, exercised my right to remain silent and let the investigation take it's course. I followed legal counsel's advice and maintained consistency in my account of the alleged events while fully cooperating with the investigation. My case was referred to a 7-person review board and it was unanimously determined that I did not do anything wrong.<br /><br />The best thing that you can do for the soldier is to ensure that he seeks legal advice and ensure that safety measures are in place for the family along with any resources that are needed. Much of this is going to have to be delegated to someone else because you need to separate yourself from this situation since you may be interviewed and/or later called as a witness to testify (in both military Courts Martial and possibly civilian divorce trial).

2015-11-19T03:58:45-05:00 2015-11-19T03:58:45-05:00 SSG Private RallyPoint Member 2879518

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Too late. Poor actions on both sides. BN CDR has his hands tied at this point.

2017-08-30T13:45:12-04:00 2017-08-30T13:45:12-04:00 SSG Ralph Watkins 2879576

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>While in Iraq our battalion commander was having an affair with his female Iraqi interpreter. He was married. He used to walk down to the checkpoint holding hands yet. Nobody said a word. He took her on leave back to the states &amp; somebody in his command back home saw what was going on. He was allowed to return to Iraq &amp; the brigade in charge of us was notified. They made sure to relieve him immediately &amp; allowed him to languish in a cubby hole building for weeks before shipping him home for UCMJ actions. As an enlisted person seeing what was going on, we not only lost respect for that LTC but the entire battalion command structure. They were enabling him while violated Army regs.

2017-08-30T14:03:29-04:00 2017-08-30T14:03:29-04:00 SFC Antonio Nieto 2879581

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Article 15 expedited

2017-08-30T14:04:09-04:00 2017-08-30T14:04:09-04:00 SFC Antonio Nieto 2879589

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Not administer by the BC but the Brigade Commander

2017-08-30T14:06:00-04:00 2017-08-30T14:06:00-04:00 COL William Oseles 2879666

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Too late.

2017-08-30T14:41:47-04:00 2017-08-30T14:41:47-04:00 PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster 2879697

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I would STILL continue the paperwork. He know better then to put lust before vows and also he disrespected those around him-Wife, children,unit. I would demote, extra duty and put him in the proverbial &#39;dog house&#39; both via the wallet and restrictions. Give the wife all the help and resources needed and him, well...too late, paperwork is processed.

2017-08-30T14:51:02-04:00 2017-08-30T14:51:02-04:00 SSG Private RallyPoint Member 2879956

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Unless things have changed or are different for officers JAG will bully the SM but in all honesty it is a winnable battle for him. Step one is for the commander to counsel the subordinate to end the relationship. If the relationship was then continued there is grounds for UCMJ punishment. I would advise him to speak to TDS and do his homework on UCMJ. I have seen this battle won a few times before. Not to say I am all for cheating but JAG will bypass steps and end someone&#39;s career if they do not know they actually have a leg to stand on.

2017-08-30T16:46:10-04:00 2017-08-30T16:46:10-04:00 Lt Col Jim Coe 2879958

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>My initial reaction is to say right and wrong still exist. Having sexual relations with a woman not his wife is still a violation of the UCMJ. The injured party in the case is not the wife, but the Service. The officer has acted in a way that discredited his rank and the uniform. Additionally, I&#39;m concerned that the wife&#39;s conciliatory attitude may be due to mental and/or physical abuse. <br /><br />I would hold the disciplinary action on my desk. Time for more advice. I would consult the JAG as to my options and the results of their investigation. Also, I would ask the wife to consent to my speaking with the marriage counselor. My questions for the counselor address my concerns about abuse. If I have the option to suspend the disciplinary action and the counselor reports the wife may be sincere and acting without coercion, then I would hold the disciplinary action. I&#39;d counsel the officer and let him know he has 30 days to get his life de-screwed, break it off with the &quot;other woman,&quot; and cleave to his wife as his marriage vows require.

2017-08-30T16:46:27-04:00 2017-08-30T16:46:27-04:00 SFC Private RallyPoint Member 2880280

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>GySgt Olson, well said. The LTs actions affect good order and discipline if they are left unpunished.

2017-08-30T19:47:00-04:00 2017-08-30T19:47:00-04:00 MSgt Chandos Clapper 2880784

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I have no respect for anyone who cheats on their spouse, especially as a leader who is expected to set the standards for our subordinates. Just my opinion.

2017-08-30T23:38:05-04:00 2017-08-30T23:38:05-04:00 Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member 2881475

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Adultery is a UCMJ violation... I think you know what the right thing to do is, no matter how unpleasant it is to do (and am I the only one who finds it ironic that the soldier in the picture has his face blacked out but not his rank and name?).

2017-08-31T09:49:26-04:00 2017-08-31T09:49:26-04:00 SSgt Thomas Phillips 2881653

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>This is a moment where all you can do is look her in the eye and apologize. &quot;Ma&#39;am, there is nothing I can do now. It is out of my hands.&quot;

2017-08-31T10:57:06-04:00 2017-08-31T10:57:06-04:00 CPO Glenn Moss 2881895

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Technically, once a violation of the UCMJ is brought to the attention of the command, it cannot simply be dismissed. You have knowledge of a violation of the UCMJ, not following through could subject yourself to administrative or legal actions, actions as well.<br /><br />THAT SAID...if the spouse does NOT wish to pursue this, then charges could possibly be &quot;withdrawn without prejudice&quot;. What this means is that the charges are dropped BUT the command essentially reserves the right to re-prefer charges at any time as they see fit.<br /><br />THAT SAID...I&#39;m not an attorney, never was either as a civilian or in the military.<br /><br />But the BN Commander DOES have access to a legal staff from which to obtain advice.

2017-08-31T12:35:36-04:00 2017-08-31T12:35:36-04:00 SGT Christopher Lachcik 2882350

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Sounds like some stupid ass high school shit lol

2017-08-31T15:39:25-04:00 2017-08-31T15:39:25-04:00 MAJ Ken Landgren 6686810

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I think I would sleep on it before making a decision.

2021-01-23T19:27:03-05:00 2021-01-23T19:27:03-05:00 SFC Melvin Brandenburg 6687249

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>The genie is out of the bottle, I would think.

2021-01-23T23:32:38-05:00 2021-01-23T23:32:38-05:00 MSgt Chandos Clapper 6687354

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Adultery was against the UCMJ when I was AD in the 80 and 90’s.

2021-01-24T01:43:44-05:00 2021-01-24T01:43:44-05:00 COL Victor Hagan 6706206

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Having commanded a battalion, I would have directed my XO to conduct an informal 15-6 to determine the facts surrounding the video. That video could have been filmed before they got married. I also would have directed my Chaplain to setup an appointment to speak with the couple in their home to assess the situation. Regardless of the outcome of the investigation, I have a duty to take care of my Soldiers and their families. If the video was taken during the marriage then I would confer with my brigade commander about my plan of action. It is very likely that he/she might recommend administrative punishment instead of UCMJ. Especially since the spouse is now changing her mind about trying to save her marriage.

2021-01-30T12:49:29-05:00 2021-01-30T12:49:29-05:00 2014-08-14T15:28:24-04:00