Would you return, or have you returned, to Viet Nam?

2019-12-15T08:05:22-05:00

I wanted no part of returning to Viet Nam. The last time I got wounded I received 30 major wounds (11 gunshot and 19 shrapnel wounds at least as large as the gunshot wounds) and a couple hundred minor wounds. But that wasn’t the bad part. Before the night ended I would up alone, with my weapon and my radio both KIA. What’s worse is the only people who had any idea where I was were all shooting at me. I’ve had better days.

Every night from 1969 through June 18, 2003 I kept having the same recurring dream -- I was a dud for allowing myself to get in that predicament. Oh yeah, I was down to only two bullets left when my M-16 got killed. The recurring dream always ended with Sir Charles walking up to kill me -- their blast from and AK would awaken me. Then I’d have trouble falling back asleep due to fear.

In 2003 my then 32 year old daughter asked me to take her to Viet Nam. Not only “NO” but “Hell NO!” -- except the word “no” is not in my Daddy dictionary. The plan was for me to take her where I got shot the last time for the 34th anniversary of the event. We shared a hotel room in Saigon the night before -- June 19, 2003. There were no bad dreams that night -- I couldn’t sleep. I was afraid I was going to humiliate myself in front of my daughter by crying or freaking out when we got there to confront the monsters in my closet.

When we got to Bunard, there were children playing, oblivious to the horrors of days gone past. Crops growing and even a few permanent structures. The place was beautiful. I still dream about Viet Nam, but they are all joyful dreams. I have never dreamed about the war since. The monsters in my closet were vanquished and replaced with the easygoing lifestyle of present day Viet Nam.

I like the place so much I returned twice in 2006 on leaflet drops (dollar bills) and in 2014 I took my youngest daughter -- then 10 years old.

I’m looking forward to hopefully returning again someday. I love it there. And the attitude of the average Vietnamese citizen on the street? ‘That was then, this is now.’ They are so welcoming; genuinely happy to see you.

One picture is my then 32 year old daughter and me standing where SFC Charles Hinson found me on the morning of June 20, 1969. The other is of my then 10 year-old daughter (pink top and white pants) with some of the local children at Bunard. It is actually my favorite all-time picture of Viet Nam.

Response by Lt Col Charlie Brown made Dec 15 at 2019 8:07 AM

2019-12-15T08:07:06-05:00

Most of the vets that I have worked with have not gone back. Only a couple said they wished they could.

Response by 1SG Steven Imerman made Dec 15 at 2019 8:09 AM

2019-12-15T08:09:20-05:00

God Bless you. Inspiring.

Response by COL Scott Pacello made Dec 15 at 2019 8:40 AM

2019-12-15T08:40:47-05:00

They should try to. It would be good for them.

Response by SGT Ed Matyjasik made Dec 15 at 2019 9:26 AM

2019-12-15T09:26:21-05:00

War is hell. Glad you made it home. Thanks for the post.

Response by LTC Eugene Chu made Dec 15 at 2019 9:43 AM

2019-12-15T09:43:38-05:00

Retired US Army General, Hal Moore and retired reporter, Joe Galloway returned to Ia Drang battlefield with their Vietnamese foes. The group got stranded overnight and made peace

We Are Soldiers Still: A Journey Back to the Battlefields of Vietnam https://www.amazon.com/dp/006114777X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_hyK9DbR0GEZZP

We Are Soldiers Still: A Journey Back to the Battlefields of Vietnam: Harold G. Moore, Joseph L....

We Are Soldiers Still: A Journey Back to the Battlefields of Vietnam [Harold G. Moore, Joseph L. Galloway] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Lt. Gen. Harold Moore and Joseph Galloway return to Vietnam's Ia Drang Valley more than four decades after the battle they recalled in their #1 New York Times bestseller We Were Soldiers Once . . . and Young. Renewing their relationships with ten American veterans of the fabled...

Response by LTC John Griscom made Dec 15 at 2019 9:59 AM

2019-12-15T09:59:42-05:00

About number 200 on my bucket list of 30 things to do.

Response by LTJG Robert M. made Dec 15 at 2019 10:12 AM

2019-12-15T10:12:20-05:00

Sound like a great road to healing.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Dec 15 at 2019 10:28 AM

2019-12-15T10:28:21-05:00

SGT Robert Pryor Congratulations: on your survival and on your recovery from your dream.

Thank you for your service.

I appreciate your story. It makes sense to me!

Response by SPC Kurt Hesselden made Dec 15 at 2019 10:32 AM

2019-12-15T10:32:41-05:00

Personally have no desire to stand in a rice paddy again. Have much better things to spend time, money or emotions on. If others want to and find it cathartic , then power to them. Welcome home and back from hell Sgt.

Response by SFC M Thomas made Dec 15 at 2019 11:53 AM

2019-12-15T11:53:17-05:00

Thank you for sharing your story.

Response by LTC Jason Mackay made Dec 15 at 2019 12:17 PM

2019-12-15T12:17:25-05:00

I am happy that you could go back and close that chapter to bring some solace to your life.

I fear today’s veterans will not see that in their life time. Iraq and Afghanistan will be no-go places for the rest of our lives

Response by LCDR Thomas Doherty (USNR-R Ret) made Dec 15 at 2019 12:19 PM

2019-12-15T12:19:43-05:00

When I visited Vietnam in 2017, I ran into a USAF Vietnam vet who was living in Saigon, where he had been stationed almost 50 years before. He just enjoyed living in Saigon and hanging out.

I am a "Vietnam Era" vet, from 1974 and thus old enough to look like a real Vietnam vet. I didn't experience any hostility, took the train and spent time in Hanoi, Dong Ha, Hue, Da Nang, and Saigon. I went to museums in Hanoi and Hue, and while they have their point of view on the war, I didn't see an overload of demonizing Americans. If anything, the French are made out to be the bad guys.

Like China, Vietnam has transitioned to capitalism, and all of the familiar US brands are there. It might be more of a shock to see Starbucks and KFC there for some vets.

Food is great, the beer is cold, it's inexpensive to stay there. I recommend it.

The DMZ Bar in Hue was kind of a hoot, a war-themed bar.

Response by SSgt Richard Kensinger made Dec 15 at 2019 12:23 PM

2019-12-15T12:23:22-05:00

So very sorry that you are experiencing psychosocial wounds. I see this very frequently w/ combat vets dating back to Korea. I am a clinical psychologist w/ expertise on this trauma. The very vast majority of vets I encounter, never want to return to this conflict zone. Via your dream your observing ego is attempting to achieve mastery over this tragic experience referred to as "repetition compulsion" . I can send you articles based on my ongoing research. You can reach me " [login to see] ".
My best to you, and God Bless for serving there.
Rich

Response by COL Scott Pacello made Dec 15 at 2019 12:47 PM

2019-12-15T12:47:28-05:00

Sorry to hear that, Robert. Glad to see your still with us though.
My marine dad was wounded three times; however, is now 80 and can’t go back for various other health reasons.
I found going back to Iraq later in life for me, while still on active duty, was a good thing.
Anyways, hope you have a nice holiday.

Response by COL Scott Pacello made Dec 15 at 2019 12:50 PM

2019-12-15T12:50:56-05:00

And thanks for that excellent write up.

Response by COL Scott Pacello made Dec 15 at 2019 12:52 PM

2019-12-15T12:52:19-05:00

I will go there at some point to visit my dad’s areas of operation..and to surf Vietnam. This will happen. Can’t wait.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2019 12:52 PM

2019-12-15T12:52:53-05:00

SGT Robert Pryor Robert, I am glad that returning to Vietnam has helped you find peace and relief from the bad dreams. For me, I have no desire to ever return.

Response by MSG Danny Mathers made Dec 15 at 2019 12:55 PM

2019-12-15T12:55:26-05:00

Hell fu#king no! I know of only a few Vets that wanted to return from my circle, Infantry. The only dudes that I know that paid over $10K to go back were REMFs. There is nothing there but bad dreams and very bad memories. That was the most miserable time of my life, why in the hell would I want to flashback.

Response by SGT Philip Roncari made Dec 15 at 2019 1:16 PM

2019-12-15T13:16:07-05:00

Great post ,Welcome Home Brother, never and no would be my respective responses

Response by SSG Terry Cummings made Dec 15 at 2019 2:28 PM

2019-12-15T14:28:11-05:00

I'm really happy for you, getting rid of those dream monsters

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 15 at 2019 3:09 PM

2019-12-15T15:09:39-05:00

Do me a favor to give me a thumbs up so I can connect with your post later. Thank you

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Dec 15 at 2019 4:26 PM

2019-12-15T16:26:36-05:00

SGT Robert Pryor I've Heard a Lot of Stories Like Yours. Truly Wonderful Your Trip of Healing and From what I Understand Vietnam has a Great Tourist Industry both for Returning Vets and Anybody Else that wants to Visit. Officially they May be "Communist" but More Like the Riviera on the South China Sea from what I've heard from Several Veterans. With China Flexing It's Muscle, Vietnam (Both North and South United) is a US Ally.

Response by 1SG John Highfill made Dec 15 at 2019 6:38 PM

2019-12-15T18:38:13-05:00

Yes

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 15 at 2019 8:33 PM

2019-12-15T20:33:59-05:00

This is a poignant excerpt from an article in regards to a widow who wanted closure:

After Deane’s death, Hattie said, she “felt so incomplete, so unfinished. Deane and I had been married only a year and a half. We had just begun to lay a foundation for a life together, for a home and a family. And not even the foundation was complete. I wanted more time.”

https://www.mlive.com/news/2019/04/on-50th-anniversary-of-husbands-death-vietnam-war-widow-meets-person-who-killed-him-column.html

Often we look at the metrics of wars but not on how the generations were impacted.

On 50th anniversary of husband’s death, Vietnam War widow meets person who killed him (column)

On the 50th anniversary of her first husband death, Hattie Ford went to the place in Vietnam where he died -- and met the person responsible.

Response by SGT Johnny Cooper made Dec 16 at 2019 12:05 PM

2019-12-16T12:05:13-05:00

Takes a strong person to share their story, yours very touching I am truly glad for you. May God
Continue to bless you and your
Family.

Response by SGT Gary Stemen made Dec 18 at 2019 1:31 AM

2019-12-18T01:31:20-05:00

Would, but probably would not be allowed to see the areas where I served.... my memories are not those of the tour regulators....

Response by 1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 18 at 2019 9:38 AM

2019-12-18T09:38:01-05:00

I can not speak on Vietnam, but there is no reason I would ever go back to the area I was in Iraq. There was nothing beautiful about the area or the people.

Response by SP5 Kenneth Smith made Jan 4 at 2020 10:19 AM

2020-01-04T10:19:08-05:00

No. I feel like I left nothing behind there, so why would I want to return? In a one year tour I was stationed in three out of the four corps. I started in II Corps with the 1st Air Cav, An Khe, moved to III Corps with USARV HQ, Long Binh and ended my tour in I Corps with Provisional Corps Vietnam, Hue-Phu Bai. Tet '68 made an impression on me. Upon my return home I had many dreams (nightmares) that I was called back into service to complete my three year enlistment (I had been released from service twenty days early after returning from Nam). In my dream I got assigned to a unit that was sent to Vietnam. I was told I had to finish my 20 days, but then was told I had to stay in Nam until my unit was returned in a year. I would wake up, covered in sweat. No, Vietnam is behind me. I didn't leave anything there, and I have no desire to return. I have met some veterans who have returned, even some who were severely wounded there. Maybe they felt like they had unfinished business there, but for me, not so much.

Response by CPT Chris Rodrigues made Feb 17 at 2020 12:25 AM

2020-02-17T00:25:21-05:00

I didn’t lose anything in Vietnam that I absolutely need back except my Clemson University class ring. No chance I’ll find it, so no need to go back…

Response by SP5 Wally Estes made Feb 19 at 2020 3:54 PM

2020-02-19T15:54:44-05:00

I would like to, but I'm not physically able.

Response by SP5 Carl Hollander made Feb 28 at 2020 1:07 AM

2020-02-28T01:07:45-05:00

I have never gone back and don't care to ever go there again.

Response by SSgt Hamilton Bender made Mar 5 at 2020 11:55 AM

2020-03-05T11:55:07-05:00

Hell no, not even if you paid for the trip.

Response by SP5 Charles Gould made Apr 10 at 2020 1:30 AM

2020-04-10T01:30:11-04:00

I would never, ever, ever go back, unless it was in a B52 or B2 these days, with my finger on the nuclear trigger. No way, no how, ever.