Would you encourage your child to follow in your military footsteps?

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 11:43:52 -0400

With reductions in force, changes to military retirements, and a future that may involve drawn out deployments against enemies like ISIS, how would you feel about your own child serving? Would you want them to follow your footsteps exactly, or would you encourage them to take another path? Knowing what you know now, would you steer them toward a different service, or a different job?

As you evaluate your own decisions to join, at what point is patriotism and service "worth it" when your son or daughter is the one at risk? Consider likely changes to the following; retirement changed to 401k, medical benefits reduction or merger with "Obamacare," loss of full GI Bill benefits. Although you might "do it all over again," would you want the same for them?

I ask this simply because my son will grow up in a long line of family members who have served across different branches, officer and enlisted. This isn't necessarily the same military now as the one we all signed up for. Likely, it will be even more different by the time is old enough to join. The circumstances under which I signed, and the benefits of starting my own path, will likely not be the same when the time comes for him. What would you do?

Response by SGT Ben Keen made Jul 22 at 2015 11:48 AM

SGT Ben Keen — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 11:48:11 -0400

If one or both of my children decide to join the military then of course I will support them but I want them to make the choose because they have thought it out and feel it is the best thing for them, not because "daddy did it".

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Jul 22 at 2015 11:49 AM

Capt Seid Waddell — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 11:49:37 -0400

I would be proud of a son that decided to join any of the branches. It is a critical need for our country to have good people willing to go into harm's way to defend the country.

Response by Maj Chris Nelson made Jul 22 at 2015 11:53 AM

Maj Chris Nelson — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 11:53:14 -0400

I like all the 3 yes answers, but I am a bit less ridged... I have talked with my daughter about military service (she is 14). The military did good things for me (I think so anyway). I encourage her to follow her interests...one of which is being a veterinarian. I encourage her to consider the military, but only on her own terms.... I would prefer officer, but she knows I was both enlisted and officer. SO far, no big interest on her part, but if she changes her mind I will try to guide her to making smart choices about branch/MOS/AFSC.

Response by SSG Izzy Abbass made Jul 22 at 2015 11:53 AM

SSG Izzy Abbass — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 11:53:34 -0400

I would love my son to serve but one thing I always stress with him is that I support him in whatever path he decides to take. In any event, I do try to instill the need to do service in him. I think he's picked that up judging by his Eagle Scout project and how he interacts with others.

I was asked once if I was looking forward to my son following in my footsteps in joining the VFW. I responded "Hell no, why would I want my son to ever meet the criteria for joining - serving in a war?!?" Seems to me those who have been there would want that the least for their children.

Response by LTC Kevin B. made Jul 22 at 2015 12:01 PM

LTC Kevin B. — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 12:01:47 -0400

If it were their idea, sure. If they were truly interested, I'd then give them some advice, but I wouldn't steer them in any particular direction. Ultimately, it would need to be their decision, both to join, and then their career paths after joining.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Jul 22 at 2015 12:03 PM

SSG Warren Swan — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 12:03:11 -0400

Yes I would be honored if my child(if I had one) told me they were interested in joining. I wouldn't force it on them, but would assist in guiding them into a career choice that would benefit them based on interests and potential for employment after service. The Army of today isn't the Army my father or grandfather were in, so I don't expect it to be the same for them. In the end, the Army itself is what they make of it, with the caveat there will be loads of boredom (Garrison) with only a small percentage of excitement (deployment). I think it's a mistake for anyone on here to make an assumption that the military of today would be in any way the same in 20 years. It just doesn't work that way. And I've noticed that many enlisted want their kids to be officers. As an enlisted man, son and grandson of enlisted men, if my child told me he wanted to be part of the backbone of that branch, I'm with him 150%. If he wants to go to the "dark" side and do reports and powerpoint, I'm still there with him 150% but laughing all the way.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 22 at 2015 12:09 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 12:09:29 -0400

I would encourage my daughters to do what they desire and strive to do. If that happens to serve in the military, then I would proudly wear my uniform when they graduate from basic training.

Response by CDR Terry Boles made Jul 22 at 2015 12:28 PM

CDR Terry Boles — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 12:28:12 -0400

Great question. Several years back a sitting US Senator from Mississippi contacted me and asked if I had a college age child that would be interested in attending a military academy with his sponsorship. Previously I had received a letter of appreciation from his office based on a constituent letter to him regarding my physical therapy care for her. At the time my college age eldest daughter had no interest in serving, neither did her younger sister. When time came I spoke to each about college, career choices, military service, and encouraged them to venture where their heart and mind took them. They experienced long family separations, anxiety in time of peace and war, unforeseen life changes and each decided the military life was not for them. My eldest while in college received a Navy Seabee scholarship, I had submitted her for it. She telephoned me inquiring if acceptance of the scholarship would require any military service, it did not. Both of my daughters are staunch military supporters, and in my eyes they paid their dues growing up in a military family knowing full well the sacrifices made. I am proud of them both and their life choices, they are excellent models of citizens in touch with reality, not the fluff that has become the societal norm in sound bites.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 22 at 2015 12:35 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 12:35:07 -0400

My son has grown up in a family of military members who have served across the branches as well, he refers to military personnel as "Our Army Family". I would however not want him to pursue a career in the military because of current draw downs and cut backs. I would support him though if he did choose to go this route.

Response by SGT Christopher Churilla made Jul 22 at 2015 12:45 PM

SGT Christopher Churilla — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 12:45:32 -0400

If my child approached me and told me they wanted to serve, I would sit down with them and explain that it will have its good days and its bad days. I would tell them about the advatages and disadvantages of military service as I saw it. If they stuck to their decision, I would support them, and if they changed their mind I would support them.

Response by SFC Jacob Hinkkanen made Jul 22 at 2015 12:52 PM

SFC Jacob Hinkkanen — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 12:52:04 -0400

I will leave that up to them but I will make sure they understand the benefits of being active duty. What other job offers medical and college at the rate we pay? Serving in the military is also very redeeming to me, politics aside. I hope they can understand that growing up.

Response by SrA Matthew Knight made Jul 22 at 2015 12:57 PM

SrA Matthew Knight — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 12:57:16 -0400

I would probably advise against it but it would ultimately be their choice and I would support them regardless.

Response by SGT David T. made Jul 22 at 2015 12:57 PM

SGT David T. — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 12:57:21 -0400

I would not encourage this but would support them if that is the decision they made. I would prefer that they find their own path instead of walking mine. Joining the military was a good thing for me but I was at a very different point in my life when I joined. If I had a child at that age, they would be in a far better position than I was at that time so they would have other options. But if that is what they wanted to do then that is their choice.

Response by SGM Steve Wettstein made Jul 22 at 2015 1:05 PM

SGM Steve Wettstein — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 13:05:52 -0400

Yes I did. My son is currently at Ft. Campbell as a Combat Engineer and is putting in a packet for West Point.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 22 at 2015 1:30 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 13:30:16 -0400

I would be so very proud if one of my kids wanted to be like their father. I would guide them to choose a good path, but I'd want them to be their own Soldier.

Response by SGT Jeremiah B. made Jul 23 at 2015 2:24 PM

SGT Jeremiah B. — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 14:24:36 -0400

I have daughters, so it is unlikely they'll be able to follow completely in my footsteps. (Times are changing, so who knows?) If they wanted to serve though, I would happily support it.

Response by LTC John Shaw made Jul 23 at 2015 2:34 PM

LTC John Shaw — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 14:34:38 -0400

I want my children to find their own path, but will be honored if anyone of them chose any military service.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Jul 23 at 2015 2:41 PM

SN Greg Wright — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 14:41:04 -0400

I did, vigorously. Unsuccessfully, unfortunately.

Response by SFC Daniel Faires made Jul 23 at 2015 2:58 PM

SFC Daniel Faires — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 14:58:05 -0400

I encouraged my son to make a plan post high school
Explored the cost of each plan and we sat down and figured out how he would accomplish that plan

He came to me and told me he joined the army
He leaves for Basic at Benning in a couple weeks
He made this descion completely on his own

So long story to a short answer
Yes but they have to with their own convictions

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 23 at 2015 3:47 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 15:47:14 -0400

I support whatever decision they make, my only hope is that they understand all their options and manage to choose the one that will make them happiest.

Response by MSgt Alan H made Jul 23 at 2015 4:37 PM

MSgt Alan H — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 16:37:31 -0400

No I would not encourage them to join the military. Uncertain times, no job stability, equitable promotions are what I foresee as history, changing/reducing benefits of people to pay for over priced theft for hardware. I loved the comraderie, but that was a different era. We have almost completed sixteen years of two administrations that through misguided go to war mentality and lackluster support of active duty military and retired benefits, has decimated a once proud fighting force. And more decimation is in the future of the military.

Response by SSgt Alex Robinson made Jul 23 at 2015 4:50 PM

SSgt Alex Robinson — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 16:50:22 -0400

Yes I would. I grew up because of the military and developed great habits and work ethic. It taught me team work and accountability. I am thankful everyday I served our nation.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 23 at 2015 8:33 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 20:33:39 -0400

I have a Son in the Army, he is a 1LT. I am confident, if they change the retirement, he will get grandfathered. I am proud that he has chosen to serve his country and am confident that he will excel and make the best of it. My wife and I both are still serving as well.

Response by CW4 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 23 at 2015 8:43 PM

CW4 Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 20:43:42 -0400

I would only if they showed interest. The only thing that I have been pushing my kids on is going to college right after Highschool and not to wait like I did.

Response by Sgt Kelli Mays made Jul 23 at 2015 9:38 PM

Sgt Kelli Mays — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 21:38:13 -0400

I brought up joining to both of my boys, but they were not interested. I would never try and get them to do something they were not interested in.....

Response by PO3 Grant McQueenie made Jul 23 at 2015 9:46 PM

PO3 Grant McQueenie — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 21:46:25 -0400

I for one would not. I realized when I was serving that the Service of our great country is not for everyone. My belief is that it takes a special person. Not just to do your hitch and run, but do it with honor and dignity.

Response by 1SG Steven Stankovich made Jul 23 at 2015 10:08 PM

1SG Steven Stankovich — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 22:08:26 -0400

The Army has been very good to my family. I would be very proud if one or both of my boys decided to join the military. I would also be very proud if they choose a different path to follow. As a Dad, I believe that it is my job to provide both my boys all the opportunities available in order to make an informed decision for each of their futures. At the end of the day, it is their decision and I would not want them to resent me if I push them one way or another.

Response by CPL Roland Newton made Jul 23 at 2015 11:55 PM

CPL Roland Newton — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 23:55:02 -0400

I told my son once that I didn't expect him to follow in my foot steps, just walk with me until you find your own path. Without my knowledge he went to the local National Guard Armory and took the ASVAB. The recruiter said he has never seen any one ACE the ASVSB. Needless to say he wants to go Intelligence. He stars Basic next Summer and I couldn't be prouder. I would have never guessed he would join the Military, he said that's why he did it, to surprise me. After college he says it's off to the Marines. I don't think I could get any prouder.

Response by TSgt David L. made Jul 24 at 2015 12:50 AM

TSgt David L. — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 00:50:51 -0400

I've talked about this with both my sons and one want to follow my steps and be an Air Force EOD Tech. My other son wants to be a Ranger or something like that he says. They both know there are few jobs out there with the pay and benefits of the military. Hopefully things will be conducive to their signing up.

Response by SrA Edward Vong made Jul 24 at 2015 1:31 AM

SrA Edward Vong — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 01:31:30 -0400

I would keep my children informed and let them know my experiences (positive and negative) while in the service. I would then encourage them to make their own decisions based on what I have told them.
Service or not, I would want my children to share the same ambition and drive as I have, and wish for their success in life.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 24 at 2015 2:38 AM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 02:38:42 -0400

Yes and no. I would encourage them to pursue community college, travel, and mature into their early-mid 20s prior to making the commitment. If they decided otherwise, I would still support them.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 24 at 2015 2:41 AM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 02:41:34 -0400

SrA Edward Vong, my stance falls in line with yours. In the end, I really want my son to take responsibility for his own life, and to have the drive that keeps him moving forward and working hard, rather than looking for someone to hand him something. I want to know that he'll be fine standing on his own two feet of and when I can't be there to help him. Of course, I'll do what I can on my end to help him get there!

Response by PO1 John Miller made Jul 24 at 2015 3:55 AM

PO1 John Miller — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 03:55:34 -0400

I would support my daughter if she ever wanted to join the military, if she's even qualified for military service (she's autistic). But on the same hand because of all the changes to benefits and compensation I would not encourage her to stick around for a career.

Response by CPO Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 24 at 2015 6:24 PM

CPO Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 18:24:10 -0400

I am conflicted due to the fact the military as we know it today is NOT what it should be. I do believe that serving your country, even if for just 4 years is an honorable thing to do. In the end, I would leave the decision up to them after they turn 18. I would definately be a proud parent to have kids honorably serving our country just as I am and have.

Response by SSG Red Hoffman made Jul 30 at 2015 9:49 AM

SSG Red Hoffman — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 09:49:51 -0400

Two of my children both joined the Army. It was a proud moment when they both graduated from BCT and their individual MOS training. I have no regrets. My son was in Iraq and received a Purple Heart and my daughter was in for 5 years and did a tour in South Korea. Would I support my grand children when it comes for them to decide if the military is a right fit for them...? I would have to just be a bystander and let my children give that guidance to their kids. If I am asked for my opinion, it would be based on what is going on in the world at that time. I have always believed that all people should do at least the minimum first tour in the military in some form. I feel it is greater training than any school could ever possibly provide.

Response by SrA Alan Dirk Scott made Apr 9 at 2019 3:32 PM

SrA Alan Dirk Scott — Tue, 09 Apr 2019 15:32:49 -0400

I know my opinion is a difficult choice, as I am a Vietnam Veteran. But we are in a different era, where the people in America love and support their vets. We did not have that. I would support them but share with them the risks of the silent war of PTSD. Having a hard time relating to civilians. If they still choose to fight for their country, I would love and support them. I proudly served mine.