Would it be a violation of any law for a non-custodial parent to withhold a minor's social security card from the custodial parent?

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 08:18:31 -0500

I have a son (living in FL with his mother) who I recently enrolled into DEERS/Tricare. His birth certificate and SSC was needed. My son's mother claimed to have mailed his SSC when I asked but supposedly it was losted in the mail. I asked if she had a tracking number from the post office. She said no. I went to the Social Security Administration office to apply for a replacement but was denied because my son resides with his mother instead of me. After telling my son's mother that she has to be the one to apply for a replacement card, she applied and then I picked up up the new card from her some days later. Two months after I got the card she expressed she needs the card. I suggested she apply for a another replacement card. As I stated to her we live in two different states and may need our son's SSC for future business. Having to mail the same card back and forth may delay any future business we have pertaining to our son. I also stated a child can have 3 replacement cards a year and 10 in a lifetime. Not to mentioned she already lost one in the mail. She was not in agreement with this suggestion. I told her I would keep the card and to order a replacement. As me being the non-custodial who was given the SSC by her am I violating any laws? As the non-custodial parent/father am I entitled to our son's SSC?

Response by SSgt Christophe Murphy made Jan 20 at 2023 8:32 AM

SSgt Christophe Murphy — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 08:32:17 -0500

Do you share any legal custody? Non-custodial generally means you don't have physical custody but this would most likely fall under what is protected when having legal custody. I'm no lawyer but from my perspective you haven't done anything out of reason. Sounds like the main issue is the uneasy relationship between you and the ex. Smooth that out to where you can work together and things will be smooth.

Response by COL Randall C. made Jan 20 at 2023 9:10 AM

COL Randall C. — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 09:10:36 -0500

I would heartily advise you not basing any action on a legal advice solicited on a social media platform. However, I agree with SSgt Christophe Murphy in that it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong since you are still a legal parent and just have a contentious relationship with your ex.

Response by SFC Kelly Fuerhoff made Jan 20 at 2023 12:29 PM

SFC Kelly Fuerhoff — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 12:29:42 -0500

I'm not sure why they denied you his SS Card especially if you're on the birth certificate. I don't think there's any law that says you can't have one but go find a lawyer who does free consultations and ask them.

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Jan 20 at 2023 12:31 PM

SFC Casey O'Mally — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 12:31:20 -0500

Laws vary from state to state, sometimes even county to county (California is one of the worst in this aspect). ESPECIALLY child and family laws. I had a case recently where the father abducted the child, fled the state to another state and enrolled the child in school in the new state. The new state said they were not legally allowed to do anything - despite warrant and abduction - because child was enrolled in school.

Do not assume anything on this. Even JAG can't help you, here, unless they are members of the bar in your specific state. If there is a court-ordered custody agreement, that ALSO has a very large say in the legality (or lack thereof) of any specific action.

Grab any and all paperwork involving custody and go talk to a local lawyer. Seriously, anything we tell you could be wrong. It may be legal in 48 states, and almost all of the counties of the other 2. But you live in one of the 5 counties in the US where it is illegal. Just as a possibility, not saying it is the actual situation. But you won't know until you talk to a local lawyer.

Most places have free initial consultation or at least low cost legal advice.

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Jan 20 at 2023 12:40 PM

SFC Casey O'Mally — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 12:40:02 -0500

I answered the legal side, but, now for some advice regarding the situation.

Take photocopies of all the documents, and keep those. Get registered copies, if possible. 90 times out of 100, these will be usable for whatever you need. Of the remaining 10 times, 9 of those needing the original document will also be things involving the presence of the child.

So... you have your registered copies, she has hers. Then you have a binder, which travels with the child, and stays with whichever parent physically has custody at any given time. Birth Cert, SSC, Vax records, prescription records, emergency medical records (like allergies or chronic emergent conditions such as epilepsy), passport (if child has one), etc.

Both parents have copies of all of the data. Parent who currently has the child has the originals. 99.7% of the time this prevents any docs needing to be mailed back and forth.

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Jan 21 at 2023 8:39 AM

CSM Darieus ZaGara — Sat, 21 Jan 2023 08:39:04 -0500

Not sure why this is an issue either way, you have received a ton of guidance. If you have partial custody of your child you should have a notarized copy of every document that will ensure the child’s well being depending on the situation. As for documents that can be acquired in duplicate that have a raised seal from the authority in question then go that route.

In either case, I have never heard of a notarized document being rejected. So get it notarized and mail it back, since you will take the hi ground ask her to meet you half way with other important documents that are needed for the child’s well being. Parents should not make things harder for the child, separate or together they both bare responsibility. Teach the child that love is above all, and Mom and Dad love them and will always work together to ensure their well being. In the end of the day, as this child grows it will either side with one of you, grow to hate both of you, or learn that love and respect concurs all.

Sorry for the rant.