Wife and I are looking at the possibility of becoming foster parents and adopting, any advice or direction?

SSG Michael Hathaway — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 05:51:59 -0500

After hearing of recent incidents around the military concerning kids not receiving the love and attention they need, my wife and I are of the opinion that we would like to open our home up to adopting kids and/or fostering kids (especially military children that need a safe, happy home). We are no strangers to child-rearing as we do have a 3 kids right now, but it breaks my heart to hear of kids being neglected or even abused just because the parent is lazy or can't keep themselves in check.

Has anyone been through this process while in the military?
Are there special programs to adopt while overseas?
Are there restrictions while overseas?
Are there special programs for being a foster parent for military children?

I have done google, but most results populate areas that I am not in or circumstances which I do not qualify. We are planning on going to legal to inquire this week, but I just wanted to see what the RP community has to say.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 15 at 2015 7:42 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 19:42:14 -0500

Congrats and thank you, we fostered three girls (siblings) while on active duty then adopted them. There are several adoption programs to help, I'm unfamiliar with any while you are overseas. Foster programs are run at the state/county level so you won't be eligible to foster US kids while overseas. You can adopt though an adoption agency and the military does have a program to reimburse qualified adoption expenses. You also are eligible for adoption permissive TDY when you adopt or receive a foster child. If you are looking to adopt inquire about "legal risk" placements (doubtful they will be returned to family) If you are just looking to help children in need there are thousands of children needing a caring family for a short duration. If you go through the foster system there are significant adoption benefits, $13K tax credit for a qualifying child, certainly not worth the time from a financial perspective but it really helps cover the up front costs and allows you to be better parents.

Response by CPL Ruth Briscoe made Nov 16 at 2015 1:10 AM

CPL Ruth Briscoe — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 01:10:29 -0500

My older brother became a foster parent and ended up adopting his kids if needing help. He is a colonel at Fort Lewis working at the hospital Madigan my brother's name is Dr James Sebesta. He and my sister in law Janelle could maybe God you and that if you're here in Washington state

Response by SPC Charles Griffith made Nov 16 at 2015 4:01 AM

SPC Charles Griffith — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 04:01:58 -0500

Understand you may well be taking on alot of emotional baggage. Please don't take that as a wave off it is NOT. I was a foster kid and I gotta say I was a hand full. I accept that a lot of my problems arose for ME and the fact that the homes I was placed in were not equipped to deal with me and my issues. Hell it's been 45 years and I don't think I have them ALL dealt with? I will say this the more love and understanding you can give the better. As kids they don't understand what's really going on but even though they may not show it they understand Love and that is what they need. I wish you and the Wife all the best and thank you for caring enough to do your best to fill a much needed roll in the lives of whoever is lucky enough to be placed with you.

Response by SSgt Alex Robinson made Nov 16 at 2015 8:15 AM

SSgt Alex Robinson — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 08:15:48 -0500

God bless you for your compassion. Good luck and many prayers.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Nov 16 at 2015 5:48 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 17:48:42 -0500

I believe the military gives a "grant" to those who adopt. I personally would not adopt a teen unless you get to know them first.

Response by SR Mark Howard made Nov 16 at 2015 9:06 PM

SR Mark Howard — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 21:06:09 -0500

My advice on fostering is if you have childern already, then do not foster the same age, if you have childern alreaadybfoste r one that is at least 2 yrs younger. if you have no childetn then Please make sure you are both physically and mentally and spirtual able to face the unkown

Response by SFC Valerie Liverman made Mar 16 at 2016 10:22 PM

SFC Valerie Liverman — Wed, 16 Mar 2016 22:22:45 -0400

Ask to interact with the children along with a social worker. Look at their background and what they have been through. Do not accept any child, until you have done a check on learning of who they are. Adapt to becoming a parent with the thought of them being your own and not a foster child. Parents sometimes miss the point of being a parent and listening to children's concerns. Even the pro's make mistakes. Be real, loving, understanding and friend to adopted children. Your own can help with this process, too. Good luck!
Older Mother of one.