Why the dark humor within the military community?

SPC David S. — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 10:37:58 -0500

From MASH to VET TV - the military has always embraced the very dark side of humor. Do you find it therapeutic, funny, offensive, poor taste or all of the above.

Response by CPL James S. made Feb 28 at 2019 10:41 AM

CPL James S. — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 10:41:09 -0500

I find the darker humour therapeutic more than anything... it's a means to deal with the demons within and cope with the horrors you were exposed to.
I also know most non-military (or inexperienced military, even) find it in poor taste or outright offensive.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Feb 28 at 2019 10:44 AM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 10:44:58 -0500

To me dark humor is therapeutic and enlightening

Response by SSgt Terry P. made Feb 28 at 2019 10:47 AM

SSgt Terry P. — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 10:47:22 -0500

SPC David S. I believe it is a compensation instinct--to find humor in horrific events in ones life. A friend had his right ear shot off during Vietnam--someone said to him---"if that had been a couple inches to the left you would be dead"-- his reply was-- "if it had been a couple inches to the right it would have missed completely" then laughed.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2019 10:54 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 10:54:33 -0500

I find the military dark humor to be funny and therapeutic. In this business, one has to develop a dark sense of humor in order to keep the sanity intact as much as possible. Yes, there are those that take it too far, however.

Response by PO1 H Gene Lawrence made Feb 28 at 2019 10:55 AM

PO1 H Gene Lawrence — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 10:55:29 -0500

It is not just within the Military community. Law Enforcement personnel embrace it with gusto, in my experience. It is a coping mechanism for the atrocities of the job, just as in the Military.

Response by Lt Col Charlie Brown made Feb 28 at 2019 10:58 AM

Lt Col Charlie Brown — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 10:58:28 -0500

Theraputic and as MSgt Robert "Rock" Aldi said, defensive as well

Response by Capt Daniel Goodman made Feb 28 at 2019 11:13 AM

Capt Daniel Goodman — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 11:13:44 -0500

I suppose it could be viewed either way, depending on the circumstances and/or historical period involved, also, didn't mean to hit the profile buttons at one point on here, I think, I'm on a very clumsy tablet, I'm afraid, and my fingers are frequently inadvertently brushing names of those on threads unintentionally, unfortunately....

Response by Maj John Bell made Feb 28 at 2019 11:24 AM

Maj John Bell — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 11:24:33 -0500

If you want to see dark humor, hang out at a firehall or an ambulance barn after a call has gone really bad. If you aren't part of the crew and you hear the banter, you would be outraged at how callous and unfeeling these people are. But it is a sign that people are trying to cope and to heal from seeing things no one should ever have to see.

Response by Carol Lilja made Feb 28 at 2019 11:38 AM

Carol Lilja — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 11:38:37 -0500

I say it as my grandpd said it, if you see a whole lof of shit going on and experience aas much shit, the easiest way is joking it off and those jokes can be quite foul&dark sometimes. it's for mental survival out there, not going nuts.

Response by LTC Stephen B. made Feb 28 at 2019 11:48 AM

LTC Stephen B. — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 11:48:44 -0500

Response by SFC Pete Kain made Feb 28 at 2019 12:13 PM

SFC Pete Kain — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 12:13:55 -0500

Therapeutic all day long, also a survival mechanism , When you have a job to do and it sucks all you can do is laugh and drive on.

Response by LCDR Joshua Gillespie made Feb 28 at 2019 12:23 PM

LCDR Joshua Gillespie — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 12:23:04 -0500

Some time ago, I responded to a similar post and received some pretty direct debate regarding my position on the subject-That being, that service members aren't "in the choir" so to speak, and it comes with the territory. At the time, I felt pretty confident in my opinion, and equally confident that my opponent in that debate, "didn't get it".

I've had time to consider my position since. While it remains basically the same, I'll add a few provisos coming from a little more life experience, and little more "maturity" (I hope).

When I was a young, single man, deployed for months doing repetitive, exhausting, or occasionally very dangerous things... I took some solace in everything from the raunchy to the morbid. As an older, more settled, married man and father, these things no longer "cut it", and don't "fit" into my personality, principles, or needs. I suppose that means that I'm glad I had the opportunity to "grow up"... but I try to refrain from judging too harshly those who didn't, and those who are still on the journey.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2019 12:30 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 12:30:57 -0500

Not everyone finds dark humor funny or appropriate... especially officers. It kind of depends on their experiences, beliefs and backgrounds. I've seen burnt bodies down range and someone may have blurted out, "wow this place smells like a barbeque." Some laughed, others were shocked and mortified at the comment. It's the same with the amputees I've seen, with some people (in a joking/playful manner) calling them peg legs or making Lt. Dan references. Usually, but not always the amps are cool with it and will let anyone know when's its not. However, there is always going be some people who are never, ever okay with dark humor and its the reason I always tried to avoid it around other people. These days you have to be a lot more sensitive and politically correct in public settings, which I'm very bad at.

Response by SPC Robert Coventry made Feb 28 at 2019 12:32 PM

SPC Robert Coventry — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 12:32:51 -0500

I like the Dark Humor also, I think it heals guys going thru issues IMHO

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2019 1:35 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 13:35:16 -0500

For me military humor is the vociferous expulsion of mental demons among those we explicitly trust and who share the same/similar demons so we can remain sane, can I get an Amen?!

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2019 1:55 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 13:55:21 -0500

Coping mechanism.

My nonmilitary example:
My brother passed unexpectedly about 18 months ago. For several years of annual reunions, we had joked that our inheritance would be one or two of the bags of aluminum cans our mother insists we bag up for recycling.
Standing in the front yard, we had one of those painful moments. As we were all about to choke up, my older brother says, "How are you going to spend yours?"
My sister and I looked at each other trying to figure out what he was talking about. He continued, "Those cans only get split three ways now..."

We cope. The other option is much darker.

Response by LTC Trent Klug made Feb 28 at 2019 1:59 PM

LTC Trent Klug — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 13:59:30 -0500

If we can't laugh at, or joke about, the crap we do, or suffer through, then we may as well be dead. The dark humor we use and laugh at helps keep the vast majority of us, okay just me, sane.

Response by MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P made Feb 28 at 2019 3:33 PM

MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 15:33:36 -0500

I find it to be therapeutic and funny, occasionally in poor taste, rarely offensive. Everyone has to find a way to deal with the stress, horrors, and demons they are exposed to. Standing in a circle while wearing flowers and singing Kumbaya doesn't work for everyone (if it does for you, then great!).

I thought the military had some dark humor (which it does) until I became a member of EMS. I would put the level of injury and traumatic death we deal with on a daily basis on par with anything I saw on active duty. The amount of casualties at any one incident is (thankfully) lower but the cumulative is probably worse.

Response by SGT Philip Roncari made Feb 28 at 2019 4:08 PM

SGT Philip Roncari — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 16:08:55 -0500

Absolutely essential for maintaining your mental health,case in point,on our initial introduction to the jungles of Vietnam we were serenaded by the famous F.U. Lizard whose night time call sounds exactly like f*&#k you! Answered by someone throwing out a grenade and screaming f*&#k you too!

Response by Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen made Feb 28 at 2019 6:53 PM

Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 18:53:00 -0500

Very therapeutic, in our line of business you need humor.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2019 9:00 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 21:00:23 -0500

Only certain individuals can relate

Response by PVT Mark Zehner made Feb 28 at 2019 9:00 PM

PVT Mark Zehner — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 21:00:26 -0500

Between the Army and being a police officer dark humor is a survival instinct! If I wasn't laughing I'd have probably cried more than less

Response by SPC Jerry Jones made Feb 28 at 2019 10:09 PM

SPC Jerry Jones — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 22:09:46 -0500

I believe it is a coping mechanism. When I served, the other soldiers in my unit were a mix of every social class, race, background, etc. Every one of them had gone through different experiences.
I think the dark humor connected us and helped us stay strong. If you didn't have dark humor, it meant you were taking everything too seriously and you would most likely plummet into depression, etc. It's all about coping, and dark humor made things that were hard to talk about, laughable and easier to face.

Response by Maj Chris Nelson made Feb 28 at 2019 10:54 PM

Maj Chris Nelson — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 22:54:34 -0500

With repeated exposure to horrific events....military, medical, LEO, EMT, Etc.... individuals will start to see "humor" in the events. Right, wrong, or indifferent, many of these are coping mechanisms. Other results are becoming cynical, paranoid, and overall....being an ass. Many of us that have been in this situation, embrace this, much to the discomfort of those that have not been exposed. Trust me when I say this.... almost everyone comes away with some trauma...regardless of how THEY accept it or not. Coping is what continues function. Unfortunately, those without the same exposures will NOT appreciate the humor/coping (often one story leads to another one...even more outlandish than the one before...and with maybe a bit of embellishment, mostly true!)

Response by CPL Dale Ketron made Feb 28 at 2019 11:04 PM

CPL Dale Ketron — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 23:04:06 -0500

To each his own...

Response by SPC Gary Welch made Mar 1 at 2019 2:34 AM

SPC Gary Welch — Fri, 01 Mar 2019 02:34:24 -0500

With all the crap we have seen if we couldn't find humor in it it will drive us nuts. My wife was a nurse for 20 years 12 of that was in an er at the VA so both of us have a warped sense of humor. It's a coping mechanism my family says I'm the best person to have around in a crisis because I can take charge in a second and be the voice of reason and crack a joke when things go south. Case in point my 22 year son works for range control on ft hood and he came home from work one night and told me and my wife that he was working at the live hand grenade range and one of the soldiers cooked off a grenade too long and blew himself up. After we talked to him about it to make sure he was ok he told us that after the mps,corp safety and everybody else had finished. Him and the other workers had to clean up and I asked him did they use a sponge it made him smile a little bit

Response by SSgt Jimmy Jackson made Mar 1 at 2019 11:18 AM

SSgt Jimmy Jackson — Fri, 01 Mar 2019 11:18:03 -0500

Just seemed like part of the brotherhood. (Sisters included)

Response by PFC Clive Heckenberg made Mar 24 at 2019 5:24 PM

PFC Clive Heckenberg — Sun, 24 Mar 2019 17:24:38 -0400

Most ‘industries’ have their own banter/ language, much to relieve stress & remove emotion from the situation at hand. If you hear it & am offended- move on & let them do their job uninhibited.

Response by PO1 John Johnson made Mar 25 at 2019 4:44 AM

PO1 John Johnson — Mon, 25 Mar 2019 04:44:23 -0400

Because, due to a lot of the evil sh*t we've seen and had to do and the fact that we put our butts on the line every single day we're in uniform, if we didn't laugh, we'd cry. It's a defense mechanism.

Response by PO2 Rev. Frederick C. Mullis, AFI, CFM made Apr 8 at 2019 3:29 PM

PO2 Rev. Frederick C. Mullis, AFI, CFM — Mon, 08 Apr 2019 15:29:42 -0400

Let me give you an example... This is from a 24 year Front line Firefighter who started out as a tailboard Firefighter ended up as a Chief till I broke my back, have been a Fire Marshal for the next 21 years, 19 of those years on the line as a Medic. ow you know where I came from I joined the Fire Service because the navy only taught me to fight fires and arm aircraft. One day we responded to a Trailer Fire (7 minutes from initial ignition to totally engulfment) We arrive on scene and two of us immediate go in because the woman in the front yard is screaming that her "BABY" is inside. Bill and I hit the front door and start a search pattern she is screaming that he is in the back of the trailer. we get to the back and at that time with the second in engint starting to hit the front of the trailer in flames, the Chief calls to us on the radio that "BABY" ois a 12 ft Bananna Python. Just for the record... I F*C*NG HATE SNAKES!! I stand up and I hit the side of the trailer with all my weight and power and I go through the wall. I take out 2 wall joists making a 4'x 6' hole in the trailer. SMoke is rolling out after me as Bill also crawls out. I p[ick myself up off the ground rip my airpack off and my helmet and I start screaming at this stupid woman who called a snake her baby. Telling her she put our lives in jeopardy for a damn snake. I was about to pound this women into the ground, but it took the Chief, the Engineer and another Firefighter to keep me from choking that stupid bitch. After all was over they pulled that snake out draped over a 9 Iron Grave Yard Dead.

That happened 37 years ago. Both the Chief, and Bill the firefighter who went in with me initially who was a Marine Corps Veteran have since gone on. I continue to tell this story in their honor and because it is black humor and helps to let people know what they can expect from the Idiots that we encounter every day. Yes it is funny, therapeutic no its not offensive or poor taste except to those who do not understand it or to those who the story's are told about and SCREW THEM! oh I'm sorry Lord.... Bless them

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 21 at 2019 11:38 AM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 21 Apr 2019 11:38:25 -0400

Mostly funny. I guess we're just not all whiny-ass bitches like the perpetually aggrieved.

Response by PO1 Steven Lipe made Apr 26 at 2019 10:45 PM

PO1 Steven Lipe — Fri, 26 Apr 2019 22:45:18 -0400

As a .civ LEO I can tell you first hand that the things seen can't be held in. You also can't take it home. You have to have a release. You can't tell your family about fishing fingers out of a bag from a train vs. pedestrian to fingerprint. You can't take home the evil done to children. You can't tell them about the OD that ran around her house leaving a trail of shit ending up dead next to her bed, naked with her bra pulled up over her tits. You can't tell mom about the check well being that you find with a gunshot in her wrist thinking that would do, and two in the roof, one of which was a pull away and one was the kill shot who had got drunk on Bud and yakked before the kill shot. The yak/beer/blood smell will never leave. A LEO's sense of humor, though macabre, is a coping mechanism that allows for release and prevents those they love from suffering the same traumas they do every day.

Response by CPT Phil Bronner made May 5 at 2019 3:23 PM

CPT Phil Bronner — Sun, 05 May 2019 15:23:50 -0400

I've heard military dark humor, and firehouse and EMT dark humor...but my 26 years in law enforcement was the darkest dark humor I've ever heard! As the FIRST of the first responders (since we're always out there, we ALWAYS got to the scenes before fire or emts), we've got the others beat!! LOL. And it's a coping mechanism... As there is no other way to help to deal with mans inhumanity against his fellow human beings.

Response by SGT Richard Lovell made May 12 at 2019 2:38 PM

SGT Richard Lovell — Sun, 12 May 2019 14:38:11 -0400

So true...

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 14 at 2019 12:38 PM

CW3 Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 14 Jun 2019 12:38:22 -0400

As someone who has spent 35 years in law enforcement and 28 years active/reserve military with multiple deployments, I can tell you we do not think and play like others. Maj. Bell is spot on. Anyone hearing us talk would think we are awful people. I've had to stop guys from laughing and joking at death scenes/crime scenes because they would look terrible on tv. But to us, it's just another day at the office.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 14 at 2019 3:10 PM

CW3 Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 14 Jun 2019 15:10:17 -0400

To all who says its a 'coping mechanism', I'm not so sure. I think we just see things differently. I don't see it as coping so much as laughing at the insanity of the human race and our jobs.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 21 at 2019 5:22 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 21 Jun 2019 17:22:08 -0400

Response by SPC Ray Blaylock made May 22 at 2020 1:07 PM

SPC Ray Blaylock — Fri, 22 May 2020 13:07:14 -0400

After the Army I was a Nurse and even while preforming CPR or as we call it a code BLUE we had to laugh. So yes dark humor is ok especially with the nursing and medical field.