Why is it taboo not to love your time in the service?

SPC Christopher Smith — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 08:48:48 -0400

I am perplexed by the idea that everyone who put on the uniform has to love what they are doing. How is it that you expect everyone to be able to have the few goods override the many negatives? We all know that every day we lose great talent because they are unhappy with the work conditions, and no longer want to tolerate them. We speak about how we might be able to retain them if possible. I understand not everyone can retire from the military but like any other company shouldn't the Army be doing its best to retain as much prime talent as possible?

I learned a lesson as a child in school, "you do not have to love the job you have, but you have to do it to the best of your ability". In the military I learned, "if you don't like the way things are, get promoted and change what you can in your A.O., or get out and lobby for change from the outside".

Maybe this is a rant, but I have some real interest in knowing why it is so taboo for people when they hear you are not happy about your service as of yet, or your overall experience in general.

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made Oct 14 at 2014 8:57 AM

SFC Michael Hasbun — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 08:57:03 -0400

It's not. At least it wasn't when I first joined. Back in the day, loving the military was for "boots", new guys. It was assumed you just didn't have the necessary experience to have formed a more accurate opinion, ie a negative one.

I can honestly say that, while I enjoy the military, I don't worship it. I enjoy her positives and am honest about her negatives. The day you are unable to acknowledge a fault is when solutions and progress become impossible..

Response by SGT Richard H. made Oct 14 at 2014 9:11 AM

SGT Richard H. — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 09:11:29 -0400

Who ever said it was Taboo? I've known plenty of people who hated it....but very few that look back and STILL hate it.
I couldn't even begin to tell you how many people I saw who just gritted their teeth and came to grips with "I don't have to like it, but I DO have to DO it"....or even adopted the acronym "FIDO" as their personal mantra. (look that one up if you don't know it).
I'm sure that there were plenty of moments through my time in the Military where I didn't love it...the thing is, when I look back at it, I'm hard pressed to come up with one....in fact, looking back through the 20 years I've been out I can come up with a lot more in civilian jobs - and to compound that, those moments in civilian jobs didn't mean a damn thing to anyone except money. At least when it sucked in the Army, it meant something. This may not mean much to you now, but if you serve out your term and get out, someday it will.

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 14 at 2014 9:12 AM

CW5 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 09:12:46 -0400

SPC Christopher Smith, I agree with SFC Michael Hasbun. I don't think it's taboo not to love your time in the service, but I'll bet when you ETS (or retire), you will look back on your Army time and remember the good times more than you remember the tough times. It's human nature, I think, to remember the good things and let the bad fade away.

I had some sort of a blessed career - minimal deployments, mostly garrison jobs, lots of time in civilian clothes - but I still had times I was hatin' life and not enjoying my job, my boss, the cold, the heat, etc. Still, "bad" memories fade away a lot quicker than the good memories and when I think back on my time in the Army and remember the people, the assignments, the accomplishments, etc., I remember my Army career very fondly.

Response by MSG Wade Huffman made Oct 14 at 2014 9:13 AM

MSG Wade Huffman — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 09:13:24 -0400

There is nothing at all wrong with not loving your time in service. We have ALL had periods of time where we, dare I say, hated it! In that respect, it's no different than any other job. It is, however, uncommon for veterans or service members to not be proud of their service to our Nation, a very big distinction.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 14 at 2014 10:31 AM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 10:31:45 -0400

SPC Christopher Smith It's not taboo to hate part or all of your time in service - not at all. What may be taboo, at least professionally, is to WBC....as in whine, bitch & complain. There were times in my career I really truly hated just about everything about the Navy. Some of the worst moments in my life were in the Navy - bar none. I won't tell you that those moments are forgotten or the individuals responsible for them forgiven, because it would be a lie.

What should happen....and I emphasize the word SHOULD.... is we move on from those moments. We take stock of the event(s), learn our lessons and realize we are (1) still alive and kicking (2) living in a country that allows second chances (3) use the lessons learned to avoid repeating the same scenario (note I did NOT say "repeating the same mistake" - not all negative events are a direct result of YOUR mistakes) and finally (4) smile when someone complains about something you know to be exceptionally trivial.

'Nuff said.

Response by Cpl Brett Wagner made Oct 14 at 2014 10:54 AM

Cpl Brett Wagner — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 10:54:11 -0400

SPC Christopher Smith - I don't think it is taboo to not have enjoyed your time in the military. That life is not for everyone, if it was who would take care of the rest of our society? I feel bad that you did not have the great experiences that many of us did, but I can totally understand how you might not have enjoyed your time. Like all of life there can be some really bad people in the military which equates to bad experiences.

Find the good in life and pass it along, use all experiences good or bad as learning tools. If you were effected by bad leaders work hard to be a good one and don't make their mistakes.

Response by SSG Genaro Negrete made Oct 14 at 2014 11:11 AM

SSG Genaro Negrete — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 11:11:53 -0400

I think I see where you're coming from. I've seen many E-9's and O-5's respond to negative comments regarding time spent in service with skepticism. I can't speak to their frame of thought. I have had ups and downs in the Army and for the most part have accepted the downs as part of the job.

I can't say I hate having served; my wife and I met on a deployment to Iraq. There have been many things I do hate about the job and they mainly revolve around specific people more than systemic problems.

I respect those that, despite their personal feelings about the work or the job, continue to do what is expected of them. It takes a certain level of personal character to be able to set those feelings aside and get the job done.

That being said, I'd have to agree with general sentiment of the responses here. I enjoyed parts of the job. There are even some aspects I "love". But to each their own.

Response by 1SG Steven Stankovich made Oct 14 at 2014 3:04 PM

1SG Steven Stankovich — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 15:04:51 -0400

I don't think that it is taboo not to love all your time in the Service. I have had numerous times in my career where I couldn't stand the job I was doing, or the people I was working with/for, or the politics of a unit, or you name it. The thing that I learned a long time ago and it has been reinforced all throughout my career is that there will be bad days and bad times. The key is to learn something from them and move on. Never make a long term decision based on a short term problem. The good times that I have experienced in the Service far outweighs the bad times, but I think that you would be hard-pressed to find any Service Member who has experienced nothing but good times in their career.

Response by SSG John Bacon made Oct 14 at 2014 4:20 PM

SSG John Bacon — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 16:20:27 -0400

It has occured to me that the ones that "did not enjoy their time in service" never adapted to being in the military in the first place. Either they were "only there for the coledge money" or "wanted to try something new" etc... They never embraced the suck, they did not take seriously the Oath of enlistment and or did not understand it. You don't join the military for the freedom of expression or the great living conditions. Bottom line up front you join the military to Support and Defend the Constitution of the United States of America against all enemies foreign and domestic; that you will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that Iyou will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over you, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help you God.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 14 at 2014 4:30 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 16:30:30 -0400

I have noticed Soldiers and Leaders alike focus deeply on the time they put into the Army rather than what they receive in return. The traveling, the camaraderie, the people you meet along the way, the experience, I think the point is to keep Soldiers positive, not necessarily make negative feedback taboo.

Response by SPC(P) Jay Heenan made Oct 14 at 2014 8:34 PM

SPC(P) Jay Heenan — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 20:34:17 -0400

I am very proud of my time in the Army! I have met great people, great leaders and experienced things (good and bad) that I would never have experienced otherwise. That being said, I have also met crappy people, had HORRIBLE leaders and got screwed by those same leaders. I have found that most people are unhappy about their current leadership more than their overall military experience. I suppose it is true that there are some people who are just generally unhappy with their entire military experience, but I think that if those folks looked really hard, they would find that they got something positive from their time in service.

Response by SGT John Beardsley made Apr 3 at 2015 12:20 AM

SGT John Beardsley — Fri, 03 Apr 2015 00:20:26 -0400

I loved being a soldier. There were some time periods that I did not particularly enjoy, and my body seems to have held a grudge about the wear and tear associated with the life in uniform . . . . but I would still have chosen to serve if I'd known then yada yada yada.