Why is it so hard to get the CofC to respond or assist with family issues?

SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Jun 2016 12:26:01 -0400

I have had some child custody issues arise to where i will be enduring a nasty court battle. I have let my chain of command know a month ago when i found out my ex was trying to enroll him school without my permission, I am set to deploy and have and upcoming AT. I have had no answers even though I keep asking. I know people have gotten off for possible jobs but yet the custody and welfare of my child seems of no concern to them. I have deployed before, im not trying to avoid it, i volunteered for this one a while ago and then now these issues have arose. I feel my issue is not being taken seriously by my SL, they claimed to have let the CO know but again I have had no answers. I just want what is best for my son.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 23 at 2016 12:28 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Jun 2016 12:28:00 -0400

Because if the Army wanted you to have a family, they would have issued you one. But seriously, I wonder the same thing. If you find a good answer, be sure to let me know.

Response by SPC Zac Long made Jun 23 at 2016 12:28 PM

SPC Zac Long — Thu, 23 Jun 2016 12:28:11 -0400

Care to elaborate?

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 23 at 2016 12:29 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Jun 2016 12:29:51 -0400

Because as much as they tell you they care about your family they really don't. The only thing they care about is bad press. Good leaders will care and do what ever they can. But the army as a hole would rather you not have them. Families are a drain on the military financially.

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made Jun 23 at 2016 12:36 PM

SGM Erik Marquez — Thu, 23 Jun 2016 12:36:11 -0400

SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member "Why is it so hard to get family issues resolved?"

Not enough in your title to respond ..
Are you having trouble deciding where to go for family dinner?
Which dual MIL spouse career path should take priority?
WHo is going to take Grandma when she gets out of the hospital?
Why won't my Ex be respectful and not talk bad about me in front of our child?
Why wont my family call out Aunt Jane for what she is, a pedofile?
If Uncle Bob will not stop trying to get "alone" time with my daughter should i tell the family?

Your lack of info leaves us wondering

Response by SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 23 at 2016 12:42 PM

SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Jun 2016 12:42:07 -0400

I apologize, I was trying to elaborate but my internet wasnt cooperating. I have had some child custody issues arise to where i will be enduring a nasty court battle. I have let my chain of command know a month ago when i found out my ex was trying to enroll him school without my permission, I am set to deploy and have and upcoming AT. I have had no answers even though I keep asking. I know people have gotten off for possible jobs but yet the custody and welfare of my child seems of no concern to them. I have deployed before, im not trying to avoid it, i volunteered for this one a while ago and then now these issues have arose. I feel my issue is not being taken seriously by my SL, they claimed to have let the CO know but again I have had no answers. I just want what is best for my son.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 23 at 2016 1:11 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Jun 2016 13:11:48 -0400

Annex E or letter to commander. Obvioulsy this is not a simple thing. Court dates can prevent a deployment. Seen it happen. Fellow was forced to basically IRR

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Jun 23 at 2016 1:26 PM

CAPT Kevin B. — Thu, 23 Jun 2016 13:26:23 -0400

Interesting one there SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member . Although the full circumstances are sketchy, there's an Army equivalent to "Request Mast" wherein you submit a request formally to the chain of command. The Skipper has the final say, so if a department head says no, it still goes up. You're entitled by regulation to a response from your CO including their basis of decision. It likely isn't clear if any particular person short of the CO or XO has the authority to defer an AT requirement. Sometimes the "no" is they don't know if they have any authority or have had any experience working proper protocol to get the issue resolved.

The second thing that's annoying is the Reserve side invariably has less of a grip on administrative procedures, training the CoC in management of family issues, etc. If you are a good soldier, it's in the best interest of the Command to assist. If you aren't viewed as an asset, their silence confirms it.

When I had my Skipper tours, I delegated full AT management authority to my Department Heads. I just required them to meet mission and use their brains in dealing with the routine issues that come up. I would have to weigh in if the deferment would likely create a "bad year" situation, but that was me going upline to not allow "bad" to happen. I also had my XO monitor the process and performance of the folk in the chop chain to make sure they're doing their piece correctly. Not positively managing the Request Mast process is a morale killer and creates secondary problems.

That said, I've had my share of Lame A's who created their own problems and my support to the CoC was in making that career end soonest. It cuts both ways. Good luck.

Response by CW5 Andrew J. Foreman made Jun 23 at 2016 3:22 PM

CW5 Andrew J. Foreman — Thu, 23 Jun 2016 15:22:02 -0400

It is a balance between mission and family for the command. While preparing for a deployment it seemed that everyone had a reason to not deploy, mostly family reasons. I am not saying they all wanted out of the deployment, they just all surfaced from our NCOs about the Soldiers. In the end we had to focus on skillsets and MOSs. While we looked closely at some issues and addressed them we could not accommodate everyone. Not saying this is the case here but just some insights. BTW I went through a horrible 3 year divorce with 3 kids and deployed during that time, so I am very empathic. My prayers do go out to you and your family.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 24 at 2016 2:20 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 24 Jun 2016 02:20:34 -0400

SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member So is your desired endstate to not attend the AT so you can take care of the school issue? What is it you want them to do?

Response by Capt Tom Brown made Jun 24 at 2016 9:02 AM

Capt Tom Brown — Fri, 24 Jun 2016 09:02:13 -0400

SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member Definitely a tough situation to find yrself in. Timing couldn't be much worse from everyone's point of view. Hope you have a good family support network. As MSG Private RallyPoint Member suggests if you were to get an audience with the CO tomorrow, and you tell s/he yr story, know exactly what it is you are asking for and want s/he to do to provide assistance in dealing with this serious family issue. Emphasize you are not trying to avoid deployment or active duty-type assignments as that thought is likely to come to mind. Pls keep RP informed of how things work out for you.

Response by SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 24 at 2016 9:11 AM

SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 24 Jun 2016 09:11:08 -0400

Update: I spoke with my Platoon SGT, the Commander is contacting JAG regarding these issues. This has been in the works, my SL just did not relay the information to me, even after I had asked multiple times. So I will find out more by Monday or Tuesday.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 24 at 2016 11:41 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 24 Jun 2016 11:41:27 -0400

That is why every Commander has an Open Door Policy. If your immediate chain of command aren't willing to help, take it to the next level. Then keep going from there. IF that doesn't help, talk to JAG and get some free legal advice. Best of luck to you on this.