Why do some users feel they can disregard military courtesy on RP?

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 21 Mar 2016 20:01:26 -0400

Use of proper Military Courtesy when referring to other RP users in discussions should not have be mandatory, but all users (even Veterans) should exercise their military bearing and reference other users with the appropriate title. I am curious if I am the only one who sees it this way?

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 21 at 2016 8:05 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 21 Mar 2016 20:05:10 -0400

SFC Private RallyPoint Member I always refer to other members of RP by their title/name or address them as Sir or Ma'am.

Response by Cpl James Waycasie made Mar 21 at 2016 8:15 PM

Cpl James Waycasie — Mon, 21 Mar 2016 20:15:43 -0400

Sgt Ingram I have been out since 1983 and I still say Sir, ma'am or rank and name unless the member asks me to refer to them in the familiar. Once they request that I refer to them that way I do. Even then I still use a lot of Sirs and ma'ams force of habit I guess Sir, lol

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Mar 21 at 2016 8:20 PM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Mon, 21 Mar 2016 20:20:56 -0400

We're a PEER network, and for the most part generally respectful.

The tagging system ( @ ) allows us to address each other by rank & name, but keep in mind as PEERS, we are adhering to a courtesy as opposed to a strict requirement.

Other members (regardless of status) are free to call me by my first name, last name, call sign, hey you, or whatever at their pleasure. It is not my place to demand a specific honorific on a Private Forum.

It's less about the honorifics, and more about bearing and how we speak to each other. As an example, when speaking to CPT Private RallyPoint Member, I may not alway drop a Ma'am or refer to her by Rank & Name, but I "believe" I am always respectful (perhaps heated in discussion, but respectful).

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 21 at 2016 8:31 PM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 21 Mar 2016 20:31:17 -0400

My retirement letter said I had 39 years and 2 days service. I only claim 23 1/2 years. I have been out over 40 years. I try to respect everyone, but, at my age I might tend to forget exactly what was proper.

Response by Capt Tom Brown made Mar 21 at 2016 8:52 PM

Capt Tom Brown — Mon, 21 Mar 2016 20:52:08 -0400

I have to agree with Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS 's take on this. RP is a P2P forum and in my view everyone's opinion is good as the others's as long as it's not completely off the wall. It does help to hear at least 1-2 points why one feels what they do, and everyone remains professional and respectful of each other as individuals. This may be a little bit uncomfortable for active duty SMs who are talking to a senior person and feel more comfortable and respectful saying Sir, Ma'am, or rank. As an old vet, I have been out of the service longer than I was in, so civilian nature weighs in my case. However, I am not adverse to referring to someone by rank or Sir/Ma'am if I feel moved to show particular respect. That never quite goes away.

Response by Capt Mark Strobl made Mar 21 at 2016 9:14 PM

Capt Mark Strobl — Mon, 21 Mar 2016 21:14:15 -0400

SFC Private RallyPoint Member - At the end of the day, those with a "V" or an "R" have their DD-214's in hand. Now, this peer network does put an interesting spin on rank & file for those with "SM" in their handle. Substitute "military bearing" with "professional decorum" and I think you've defined RP's expectation. Tagging those in conversation alleviates the need for any further use of titles or honorifics.

Response by SGM Mikel Dawson made Mar 21 at 2016 9:30 PM

SGM Mikel Dawson — Mon, 21 Mar 2016 21:30:54 -0400

After spending over 22yrs, it's ingrained in me. Sometimes it does irritate me when people on the forum address me as "sir", but now I just let it ride. Too old to start pole vaulting over fly poop!

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Mar 21 at 2016 9:33 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Mon, 21 Mar 2016 21:33:36 -0400

Some folks don't understand the mantra treat others with dignity and respect.

Response by SrA Shawn Nelson made Mar 21 at 2016 11:22 PM

SrA Shawn Nelson — Mon, 21 Mar 2016 23:22:07 -0400

Here on RP I was in a discussion with a retired TSgt. I got out as a SrA in 1994. He wanted to treat me as if I were a twenty something year old kid. No respect for me because all he saw was the rank. I have done a lot since getting out. As far as I'm concerned let's drop the term Proper Military Courtesy and just be Courteous to each other

Response by MSgt John Taylor made Mar 21 at 2016 11:27 PM

MSgt John Taylor — Mon, 21 Mar 2016 23:27:09 -0400

I believe that we should remain respectful to one another as veterans. But, should I not post an opposing viewpoint because the other guy out ranks me? Does his/her point of view carry more water because of rank?

The first time that someone gets assed-up over military bearing, I believe it will be the last honest discussion that RP will have.

Response by Eric Harshberger made Mar 21 at 2016 11:53 PM

Eric Harshberger — Mon, 21 Mar 2016 23:53:13 -0400

Perhaps they lack military bearing, perhaps they believe this open forum allows a lack of decorum... Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't; but I believe the answer lies in our definition of military courtesy. Therefore, what formal customs and courtesies can we expect from a network with this varied demographic? This brings the point to bear of what the purpose for this site is; Social Networking, Business Communication, Emergency preparedness?

Response by SN Greg Wright made Mar 22 at 2016 12:22 AM

SN Greg Wright — Tue, 22 Mar 2016 00:22:35 -0400

Well Serving Members had best give proper courtesy, if only to avoid the gung-ho types who get butthurt if you miss a proper address. It's a little more grey for Vets, I think, but politeness is always en vogue, yeah?

I had a PO1 (Navy e-6) once reply to me that I had been to sea for about a day and still had sunshine behind my ears (or something like that). In fact, I've been a Merchant Marine since I got out, and certainly have probably double (or more) the sea time that she does. So it's a slippery slope, making assumptions. Best to just be polite. I myself address new (to me) people by their rank, regardless of their status, until they tell me to call them something else, or we become buddies.

Response by SPC David Beam made Mar 22 at 2016 1:14 AM

SPC David Beam — Tue, 22 Mar 2016 01:14:28 -0400

I tend to believe it has a good bit to do with how we are expected to act, and how we actually act around other service members or vets. Do any of you, in all honesty, actually pussy foot around with other vets in real life being super polite and politically correct? I doubt it. If you got into any of these discussions in person in civilians (or as a civilian) you would treat the other person like, I dunno, an actual person. Nobody (enlisted at least) has these arguments while wearing white gloves. Rank regardless. And yes, as a proud dd214 owner I now willing and able to call anyone and everyone out if they are being idiots, officers or otherwise.

Response by SGT Jerrold Pesz made Mar 22 at 2016 1:28 AM

SGT Jerrold Pesz — Tue, 22 Mar 2016 01:28:26 -0400

I try to treat everyone with respect.

Response by 1stSgt Eugene Harless made Mar 22 at 2016 2:09 AM

1stSgt Eugene Harless — Tue, 22 Mar 2016 02:09:14 -0400

I'm not in the Military anymore. I treat everyone as a peer, regardless of rank. At the end of the day military service is what you did, not who you are.

Response by Cpl Jacob Dipzinski made Mar 22 at 2016 4:50 AM

Cpl Jacob Dipzinski — Tue, 22 Mar 2016 04:50:52 -0400

Asking/Demanding/Hinting for people to address others by rank is outrageous. Maybe it's because I am a veteran and no longer have to worry if I missed an IP on my pocket anymore and feel as if just being respectful to others when talking it good enough. Once you even hint at making it a thing to address everyone by rank and such you lose the aspect of this being a private page to attract all prior and present. Very few as in maybe only 3 ever prior service people got their rocks off by making people call them by their rank. if I don't respect the person wearing the rank what good is that rank? While in I had to respect the rank however now it's my option. The joys of having a DD214.

Response by Sgt Tom Cunnally made Mar 22 at 2016 6:15 AM

Sgt Tom Cunnally — Tue, 22 Mar 2016 06:15:12 -0400

I plead guilty & have received a few verbal reprimands. In addition, I had the audacity to suggest we all be on a 1st name basis here on RP which was NOT well received. Don't have any excuses except maybe my age (80yrs) is beginning to catch up????

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made Mar 22 at 2016 6:40 AM

SFC Michael Hasbun — Tue, 22 Mar 2016 06:40:32 -0400

Deferring to people due to rank is going to lead to a major increase in "I'm right because I outrank you" syndrome. The rank system is fine in combat, but is death to intellectual discussion..